So this article totally pisses me off. It comes off as very superficial and shallow. Citing the King Of Queens as an example of a mismatch couple, an attractive woman with a less-than-attractive man. (Kevin James unattractive? wtf?) But seriously... putting sexual preference and celebrity couples aside... when you look at real life couples you can find 'mismatched' pairs all over the place. Maybe he's dating out of his league. Maybe she's a pauper dating a prince. Outward appearance 'mismatches' (this word is starting to really bother me) are, obviously, more noticeable, but I would think that personality 'mismatches' are more common.
In my opinion, the article is insinuating that if ugly doesn't find ugly or is pretty doesn't find pretty then somehow the universe is askew.
Universe: "Dammit... there goes another one of my Pretties. Now who am I going to find to date this loser?"
Now of course not everyone thinks this way. Not everyone has a set of match-making rules that they have to follow. You hear just as many successes involving opposites attracting as you do same-type successes.
The article touches on the how it's more common for women to keep up on beauty regimens. So you are more than likely to notice an less-than-attractive guy with a pretty woman. The flip side being there are not enough metrosexual men for women to flaunt. Now the truth of such a statement is open to debate if you honest have nothing better to do. To me that just goes to support the superficial attitude that you have to look a certain way. Like most things in life, there needs to be moderation. Enough commonalities and differences to make a good balance. In the end, beauty is skin deep; money is fleeting; status and influence wane.
Am I so naive to think that such high school-like tendencies should disappear after high school?
I posted this @ 11/25/2007 04:52:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
10/16/2007
EVERYBODY STOP, CHILDREN, WHAT'S THAT SOUND
Ok... I know I'm opening up a huge can of worms on this one. So let me preface with this. I wouldn't last two minutes in boot camp of any kind and certainly couldn't bring myself to actually point a gun at someone and possibly shoot them. I can't even imagine what it must be like for soldiers. I am glad there are men and women willing to serve in the military. It is tragic that people have to die for their country. They serve by choice and more power to them, for being brave enough to do so. Their bravery I salute. Regardless of my feelings about war or Bush... I am not anti-military!
Basically put, Capt. Brown graduated from West Point. Went overseas to serve in Iraq. It was there, upon studying scripture and solidifying his beliefs that he asked for a honorable discharge as a conscientious objector. Since being granted his discharge he has decided to go into seminary school.
It seems like a fine gray line that a person would stand on either side of. Currently there is no mandatory military service required. Let's say, for whatever reason, that I joined the military. After boot camp, and being assigned to serve somewhere, I decide that the military is not for me. I can't do it. Would I be allowed to be discharged honorably? I'm agnostic as far as religious classifications go. So I couldn't say it was because of my faith. I'm not even playing with the gay card.
What makes one situation ok and the other not?
Now before anyone gets seriously bent out of shape... go back and read that first paragraph. I'm honestly not digging on anyone. I'm simply curious how one set of circumstances can be justified and another frowned upon?
I posted this @ 10/16/2007 01:26:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
8/23/2007
EAT IT. JUST EAT IT.
I meant to blog this a while ago, but I was just thinning about it again.
Mark & I had a bad string of luck when it comes to restaurants. It just wasn't our week.
We started out at Red Robin one night. It was late dinner hour so the rush was fading. We were seated promptly and had drinks decently quick. After that.. it was like no man's land for our server. In the 10-15 minutes that we waited for him to come around again we'd already decided on an appetizer and our meal. Now this is a big deal. By his own admission Mark is not a quick decider. So for us to already know what we want... Quick! Get the server here before we change our minds!
In the meantime our server was flirting/clearing up a table of 15 college-aged girls. Finally he came by and took our order. A runner brought out our appetizer. Another runner brought out our food (almost too soon). Our server did a 'drive-by' and mumbled something about refills. But that never happened. He's getting shots for half the table of Debbie's.
When the check arrived, finally... I paid him promptly rather than wait even more for him to come back for it. He was tipped 'appropriately' as well as a comment card filled out on his behalf.
It's unfortunate because even tho we've had good (if not somewhat smothering) service in the past. It's typically the most recent visit you remember first.
The luck continued when we ended up at Old Chicago later in the weekend. After a couple of other dining options were shot down (not open yet, not in the mood, etc.) we showed up at OC about 10 minutes after they opened. We were one of three tables. Our waitress was very prompt about drinks and taking our order. It was there after that she got a large table and we never saw her again. We had to ask the hostess for our check. Again... she was tipped appropriately. This server was at least apologetic about her neglect, but it was really more like an excuse... "I had a big table." You also had two people helping you with that table. And we were your only other table...
I get that being a server is rough at time. I couldn't do it, because I'd end up telling someone off. So I appreciate when a server does a good job. Hell, I appreciate when a server does a mediocre job. What I don't get is why it takes 5 people to take care of a table and the service can still be lousy.
I can see the 'logic' of having someone runs the food out to you, thus freeing up the server to handle other tables. I can understand someone coming around and filling drinks. Most restaurants seem to do this. But when you've got multiple people, wouldn't the server technically be 'in charge' of the table. If he or she notes you need refills... send the refill person around. Come by and check to see how the food is or if we need something. I'd rather be smothered by our server than ignored or forgotten about.
So in the end, when the check arrives, who are you tipping? Say Refill Guy was attentive, but the server was incompetent. Someone else brought out your food and got you ranch on the side, but the server barely acknowledged you. It seems unfair that the server would end up getting a tip for something that basically amounts to taking your order and bringing the check.
If you're going to have that many people waiting on one table... wouldn't it be just as viable of an option to have those runners and refillers trained as servers who do more per table, but then are earning their tip more as well?
I posted this @ 8/23/2007 09:28:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
8/06/2007
THAT'S WHAT I WANT
I am being upfront when I say that this is totally a PMS post (Poor Me Syndrome). So keep that in mind.
I just got back from a job interview. I think it went well. It seems rare lately that I feel like I'm not just pulling the answers out of my ass. Apparently I went to college with woman doing the interview. Hopefully that puts a couple bonus points in my column.
I'm just sick and tired of the race. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 2nd place to anyone else when it comes to a job, money, etc... Call it jealousy or whatever you want. Sometimes I feel like I've made the wrong choices for my life and I would lose too much to try and take another road.
I'm envious of people that are younger than me, smarter than me, luckier than me, who are making more money and have a better job. Silly me for following my heart and wanting to make a difference in the world or in someone's life. Appreciation to Money conversion isn't worth shit when you've got bills to pay.
I know people younger who make twice as much as me. It makes my stomach turn. Why did I have to pick psychology? I know people who speak two languages fluently and have jobs literally handed to them because of the demand for bilinguality. I'd love to punch the career adviser it the neck who said that psychology was going to be a needed career in the coming years. Way to flood the market, jackhole!
I'm in a vicious circle at the moment. A better paying job takes a Masters degree. A Masters degree takes money. Money comes from a better paying job.
I know there are ways through this. I'm not saying this in some desperate cry to a world that I am oblivious too. I know what can be done, but that doesn't change my current feelings.
I understand part of how I'm feeling is because I'm comparing myself to other people. It's apples and oranges, as they say. Logically I get it. I get that just because my choices were different doesn't make them wrong. But dammit it sure feels like it.
In a couple days I'll shake this off. I'll realize what I do have and look to the future of the potential that is out there. In the meantime, there will be stewing and some tantrum-throwing.
I posted this @ 8/06/2007 03:09:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
8/02/2007
...
I'm nuerotic in my own little way. I typically think about what would happen if a bridge was to collapse while I was driving on it. It doesn't preoccupy my thoughts. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I thought about that what-if every now and then while driving.
So when things like what happened in Minneapolis occur... it really ramps up my nueroses for a while.
My condolences to this tragic situation.
And also my admonishments to such news sources like MSNBC who ask for first hand photos and videos that people might have captured of the accident. I understand the idea that you want to have a scoop. To present something that no one else has. But to ask the public to "send [us] your photos, video of disaster." My God... have a soul.
I posted this @ 8/02/2007 08:54:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
7/16/2007
I'M A HETERO. SEXUAL. HETEROSEXUAL MAN.
I have a problem with stereotypes. I know I've discussed this before, but I think it is worth revisiting. Shows like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy have been around for a while now. It's not uncommon to have a talk show with a gay correspondant talking about fashion or design or how to throw sexy parties. I can see the appeal. Perhaps "fun gays" are less threatening to television audiences because you don't have to think about them going home to their boyfriends/partners/husbands and 'disrupting morality' four times over the weekend.
I don't say this and pretend that I don't enjoy shows like What Not To Wear. I understand there is a fine line of hypocrisy that I am walking here. I am still processing this, but I think my issue is people flaunting their gayness for the sake of popularity.
Is Willam Sledd funny? Yes. He has his fashion opinions which are presented in a very entertaining way. But I question his popularity amongst the You Tube crowd because he is funny, or gay, or stereotypical. He's popular enough that he's been mentioned on The View and featured in several magazine articles. This latest article on Yahoo even starts out by stating part of the reason I question all this. "Does the world need another gay fashion guru telling us how to dress?" Are there enough already? If you have to question whether 'another' one is needed I think it's fair to say that some gay stereotypes are becoming a supernova threatening to collapse in on itself.
Would a twink mechanic flouncing about a garage be taken seriously? Would a serious stone-faced bearish fashionista be taken seriously?
It seems like if there is a role to fill that certain types of gay men are the ones filling that role. And I can figure out if it is because what the entertainment industry thinks it's what is popular or if that is really waht the public wants to see.
Or maybe I'm just filling the role of the angry gay man.
I posted this @ 7/16/2007 09:24:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
7/11/2007
I WANT MY MTV
Otherwise titled: I Hate Cox Cable and Why You Should Too
Let me start off by saying that I have been a loyal customer for the last 10 years. You would think that in ten years of service that when I move that I wouldn't have to pay a deposit on activation in a new place. Why the deposit you may ask? Because you know I did. When I called I was told that there are ratings that customers have. Paying late, of course, gets you a low rating. Paying on time gets you a moderate rating. No deposits are a 'bonus' for those who pay early. Like... before you even GET a statement early. Of course I can get this deposit back. Only if I request it after two years of service. It is not automatically given back.
Perhaps you live in an area where you see constant rate hike of cable prices. There are plenty of commercials on air right now even poking fun at it. That alone is enough to drive a person batty. Unfortunately, I have little choice in my current set-up. My apartment is cable-ready for Cox Communications. If I was even able to have any other service in there I would have pay for wiring and installation which is just not an option financially.
The latest issue is a bit more problematic. For the last month (at least) my cable dvr box (or TiFaux as I call it) will reboot unexpectedly. Sometimes it would come back automatically. Sometimes I had to call customer support to have them fix it. Recently I tried hooking up my VCR in addition to my TiFaux. This apparently is not recommended by Cox Communications. Why? My guess is they want you to use their service totally. Who needs a VCR when you can have a DVR. Oh wait... maybe it's because the TiFaux doesn't work consistently. I make at least a call a week to tech support asking them to fix the box. The automated phone 'knows' me now. Noting that I've recently called about an issue and asking if it still occuring. I would think that if it knows that much, and it's still a problem that it would transfer me to a live person.
Sidenote: I know they ways to get to live people but that's not the point.
Once I get to a live person they walk me through similar steps that the automated service tries. Again, sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. As of this last call over the weekend my cable box would not record, there is no guide, and playback is sometimes not available. This is unacceptable.
A technician is finally dispatched to take a look at the problem in person. I am informed by the CSR that I may be charged a fee for the visit if it is determined to not be an issue with their equipment. As Lloyd would say... Fuck that noise. What else would it be?
[an Anvil of Foreshadowing looms over the VCR]
The tech shows up bright and early and semi-unannounced. There was supposed to be an automated confirmation call. This didn't happen. After one knock he was already heading back to his van. It was 8am! I was asleep and expecting a phone call first!
Once in, he was courteous and helpful in explaining what he was finding and what he was trying to do to solve the issue. Much like a doctor or nurse is trained to explain what they are doing to you as they go along. He noticed the VCR and explained that their system is not meant to be used in conjunction with VCRs (See my theory above). He unhooked the VCR and tried again. It still wasn't working. Suddenly I felt vindicated that my VCR was not the issue. Try and service charge me now!
He swapped out the TiFaux box for another. Still not working. Hrm... curious. If it's not the box that is the problem maybe it's something in the line coming into the apartment. Another test... No. That seemed fine as well. Perhaps it is their signal that is having issues getting even TO my apartment to begin with. Well by the time he came to this diagnosis his I-might-be-there-between-eight-and-ten window was closing. It was almost ten and he had other appointments. Unacceptable! His patch solution was to hook the cable directly to the TV. So no TiFaux. No recording ability. No playback ability. And I'm paying for what again?
I was told that a maintainence worker would be out to check the wiring leading up to the apartment. Asking if I would need to be there for it. He looked at me confused. Slower this time... Would. I. Need. To. Be. Home. For. The. Maintainence. Visit? He didn't believe so.
Well guess what... I should've been home. Maintainence was there and gone and couldn't find anything wrong with their signal and wanted to come in and check my TiFaux.
Hate.
I was aware of the visit because they called me to let me know they had stopped by (after the fact) and that I should call to schedule a follow-up visit.
Flames... on the side of my face.
The earliest they can make a return visit is Friday... This means a whole week without useage of their box which I pay for. On top of however many other hours of service I've missed out on as a result of their service interruption
I posted this @ 6/29/2007 07:11:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
6/22/2007
JOHNNY ARE YOU QUEER? (revisited)
Wait a minute... You call someone a "faggot". You deny that you said it. The roomfull of witness say otherwise. You say it again at an awards show, pretty much forcing someone to come out. You admit that you said it. You go into therapy for being an asshat. You get fired from a top-rated drama and blame the "faggot" saying he should've been fired?
I posted this @ 6/22/2007 10:30:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
6/11/2007
WHOOOOO ARE YOU? OO OO! OO OO!
I barely talk about my job, but this is a story I can't pass up.
As you might know, as part of my job I talk with high school kids about their smoking habits, or the lack thereof. One of the studies requires smoking teens to complete a short survey. We were hoping to get enough kids while they were still in school, but that didn't happen. So now we are taking to the streets to find smoking teenagers. Which is difficult to do. We've spent the better business part of two days looking for teens with little luck.
As we drove, and walked, around town we discussed some of the reasons why weren't finding kids. Teens don't hang out on the streets, sitting on corners, watching traffic? Those teenagers who are smokers also use other drugs/alcohol which you most likely wouldn't do while hanging around in public places? Teens don't smoke as much as the study was predicting?
I don't know the answer. I do know that our desperation in finding teenagers led us to get surveys any way we could.
We stopped by a local park one afternoon and found a couple cars full of teenagers. As we approached them, I thought, "we must look like undercover cops." I was even accused of being one. I certainly look like an adult, and have for a while. My other two coworkers looked college-aged. While we certainly don't look unapproachable, we don't look like the type of people who'd just be sitting around in a park with nothing to do.
Well, these kids started out suspicious, but quickly warmed up to the idea of a survey when they realized they could earn a gift card out of it. One kid was especially eager to take the survey. He was a good helper in recruiting other people at the park in taking the survey as well. That's when I first noticed something odd. Other than the group of kids that we first found, there were a lot of cars with just one or two people in them. Just sitting there... Even more single occupant cars would drive through the park.
A coworker asked me if I thought it was unusual. I told her yes and she proceeded to turn to the kids and ask. "Do you know that guy," pointing in the direction of one of the cars. The kids all shook their heads. "Do you think it's odd he's just hanging out by himself?" The kids really didn't respond to that at all.
During these surveys it's not uncommon to have kids ask us if we smoke. Depending on the group, some are indignant when I say I don't. Others will lament that they shouldn't have started. So the reaction is mixed. At this time in the park a kid asked and we said no. He said that he didn't smoke cigarettes. Instead, he uses meth. A coworker let out a surprised, "What!?" and he just laughed, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."
Maybe he was, or maybe he wasn't. Pretty soon a UHaul truck pulled up and stopped a ways back from the rest of the cars in the park. One by one someone would get out of their vehicle and go talk to the guy in the UHaul truck. They'd stand there and talk for a moment and then climb back in there car and drive away.
This is when it hit... "Um, [Coworker], I think we stumbled into a drug ring," I said.
Now, I'm not completely naive. I will admit a certain trust that I have in overall situations until shown otherwise. In this case, I trusted that people wouldn't openly be using and distributing drugs in a park in the middle of town in broad daylight on a weekday afternoon. I wouldn't say it was naive. I would say I was just wrong.
Already thinking we looked like vice cops, this didn't help me overcome my awkwardness in approaching people to take a stupid survey.
Needless to say, we collected the remaining surveys and left, in case anything happened. So if you're ever in town, I can point you in the right direction to score a dime bag.
I find it my job to be somewhat ironic, in the Alanis use of the word. When I talk to high school kids about what my job is about people typically have one of several typical reactions. They either 1) admit they smoke and ask how they can do the survey; 2) sheepishly admit they smoke only after someone has ratted them out; 3) voiciferously deny smoking but quickly point out the nearby friend that does. (See #2).
When I tell someone who would not be considered for the study I am the one to have the odd reaction. I end up being the defensive one. "This is what I do, but I don't care if you smoke or not." Do I care about the overall health? Well, obviously, sure. But am I going to get on a soapbox and tell them day in and day out? No. That's just not me.
I find the presumptive stigma to be entertaining. Smokers thinking that they are going to get an earful for saying they smoke. While I think I'm going to get a freedom speech when I tell people I try and get kids to quit smoking. Is that irony?
I posted this @ 6/11/2007 03:55:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
5/30/2007
I WHO HAVE NOTHING
So adorkable Jordin Sparks wins American Idol. The girl can't even have a moments peace. She won American Idol and she is still being judged. A spokesperson for the National Action Against Obesity, and apparently the royal heir to the Throne of Thinsylvania, MeMe Roth spoke about how allegedly fat Jordin is. "She's going to have to lose that weight." Going on to talk about the "sway the up-and-coming pop stars have on American children."
What. The. Fuck.
Seriously...
This is exactly the reason why I can't stand magazines like Cosmo and the male equivalent (Men's Health?), because of the message I believe they send about how people should look. God forbid someone who isn't two dimensional have a career and be successful. Someone might look up to them. Who knows what might happen if people stop buying into the bullshit about the only way to really be anybody is if your thin and 'beautiful'. As a good friend of mine is prone to say, fuck that noise.
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty star, wrote and starred in the movie Real Women Have Curves. And it's true! Not just for women, but men to (well not so much the curvy part, but you get the idea). The idea is that not everyone has or ever will have a waifish figure, and it's ok. There is a BIG difference between being healthy and being skinny. According to my height, my ideal weight is 175 pounds. I weighed that once... and I looked emaciated. What was so healthy about looking malnourished?
If you are unhappy with your body and/or how much you weigh and you want to lose weight, that's ok. Do it for health reasons. Do it for your esteem. Don't do it because you think the only way anyone is going to like you is if you are thin. Or because you think someone else wants you to be thin. Or because you're so caught up in the hype of what the media tells us we should look like and be like that you have no choice to starve yourself.
I posted this @ 5/30/2007 07:57:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
5/29/2007
FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD
Perhaps I'm being a bit oversensitive about this article, but I do find it slightly insulting to a man's intelligence.
It starts off that way. Insinuating that a man can't handle walking into a grocery store without being on the verge of a mental breakdown.
I've done my own shopping since I've been on my own. My biggest issue with shopping is walking into a grocery store that I am not familiar with. Getting acclimated to a new store. Do I take my time to look? Sure. If I'm in a hurry do I ask for assistance? I'm not opposed to it.
One point they bring up is that when asked by checkout clerks if they found everything, men will typically answer yes even if that is not the case. Here is how I see it. Asking such a question is obligatory and insincere. Even at the grocery store that I shop at the most and with the friendlier staff there it is still obligatory. I'm sure they occasionally get someone who will respond with a heart-felt 'no' and ask where the canned artichokes are. But, I bet it's rare.
I think more people just nod and say yes because they don't want to slow the line. With check cards being used more and more frequently you hardly see anyone use cash, and even rarer a check. To ask a question will cause sighs of frustration from the line. Now, some may not care about that. You're a paying customer just like they are. My guess is that more people are on the Don't Slow The Line bandwagon.
The article goes on to talk about attracting the male grocery shopper. Since guys tend to shop for convenience over price. So stores are looking to see how they can meet the needs of the male shopper.Personally, I'm a mix of both. I like to cook. I don't mind grocery shopping, but I'm also probably atypical from their results.
I didn't see an age listed on the study. They mention men who marry later in life and the rise in households where both husband and wife work. I didn't see a mention of men shopping for themselves.
They talk briefly about men foregoing buying an item rather than substituting something else. Once again, I'm not the best example, but I can substitute something on the fly. Can't find the minced garlic? Go buy some real garlic and mince it yourself.
Overall, I don't think they give my generation of male shoppers enough credit.
I posted this @ 5/29/2007 08:34:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
4/11/2007
WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERL-.... BULLSHIT
I woke up this morning and looked outside to find what some weathermen call a wintry mix. Or what I call bullshit.
I understand it is still Spring and that there are times where the weather is going to be unpredictable. I understand that I live in Nebraska and the weather can change on a dime. Yet there is somewhat of an expectation that Spring is the time for the weather to improve. Not to do a complete 180 and go running back to Winter.
When the weather became warmer I put away my winter coats. I am stubborn enough that as this snow... excuse me... wintry mix began I wrestled with the need to actually pull out the winter coat. It's not like this coat is hiding deep within some cave. It's not guarded by the undead or anything.
But alas... I broke out the coat. Damn you weather!
This is why I like Summer. You know what to expect with the weather when you wake up.
I posted this @ 4/11/2007 08:38:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...
Wait a minute... You call someone a "faggot". You deny that you said it. The roomfull of witness say otherwise. You say it again at an awards show, pretty much forcing someone to come out. You admit that you said it. You go into therapy for being an asshat. You get fired from a top-rated drama and blame the "faggot" saying he should've been fired?
