While I'm all about people coming out in their own time, can we just get at least one "FINALLY!" from the crowd and then move on? Thanks. Clay is gay: Aiken comes out of the closet
I posted this @ 8/31/2008 04:38:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
7/21/2008
NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. WORDS CAN'T BRING YOU DOWN.
Stories like this make me think. I get torn. Which, I suppose a good article should do. If you're not familiar with the story... I'll give you the short version of the 5-page article. Larry King, 15 years old, was shot twice in the head at school by a classmate, Brandon McInerney, 14 years old.
Larry was a flamboyant, cross-dressing, young man. Make-up. Glitter. High heels. He worked it all. With a troubled past involving a drug-using mother and not-in-the-picture father, Larry was adopted by supportive parents. Larry had been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder and given ADHD medication.
Brandon's past wasn't much brighter. His parents split after Brandon's father shot his mother in the arm and then his father claimed the mother turned the home into a drug house. Once Brandon's mother entered rehab, Brandon went to live with his father.
Larry was a disruptive student. If not in appearance, then in behavior. Students had created a Mean Girls-esque "Burn Book" and wrote about how much they hated Larry. Larry openly flirted with Brandon in school. Brandon threatened Larry telling Larry's friends to tell him goodbye because he wasn't coming back. Some teachers were very supportive of Larry's right to express himself. Others were concerned about his dress and behavior. They'd go to the school's administration that one of the Assistant Principals, who was also a lesbian, was possible pushing her own agenda on to Larry. She states Larry had sought her out for guidance.
Larry's adoptive father, Greg is upset that gay-rights groups are making Larry the new Matthew Sheppard. He is not wholly convinced that Larry was gay. Greg is more concerned about the ability of a student to get a gun into the school. Where are the resources to help either of these troubled students, he questions.
So my questions are many. Be out. Be proud. Be loud? Is that really the best idea? Did Larry bring it upon himself? Like so many others wondering, how did Brandon get a gun and get it into a group home alternative school? How much do you encourage a child to express themselves?
Putting the victim/accused's gender and sexuality aside for a moment... If this had been a girl killed by a boy, would a lot of these question even come up? What kind of things would be said to a boy who was overtly sexual with a girl? These are issues that do come up in schools. Can they be handled like any other social/behavioral issue?
I posted this @ 7/21/2008 05:56:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
6/22/2008
IT'S A SUNSHINE DAY
It's Pride weekend in Omaha. Which I'd love say means a lot more than it does. I just don't think that Omaha has the community to support a huge Pride event like a larger city would. It's not a 'bad' thing really. I've always felt Omaha has a BIG 'small town' feel to it. This is just part of what comes with the territory.
Some people are all about gay pride. The rallies. The paraphenalic stickers and flags. The activism. I would say I'm in the middle of the spectrum of 'pride'. I have the stickers. I'll go to the parade (when I can). I'll read about related issues in health and activism. It 'is' me, but not 'only' me. I'm gung, but not so much ho. Wait... that last part didn't sound right.
Much in the same way that the Latino community celebrates their heritage around Cinco De Mayo or even Irish around St Patrick's Day, allow me to reflect on my 'heritage'. What I appreciate about my heritage is being able to not be afraid. Maybe it's where I live. Maybe it's who my friends are. Since I've been out I can only think of one time that being gay was really an issue. It was a former place of employment. But I would never be able to prove that it was really the official issue. C'est la vie.
I'm proud to know the people I know. My first roommate, through all his own personal issues, showed me that it's ok to be exactly who you are. Fuck the haters who are too afraid to be themselves. Bold. Brazen. Overboard. I'm not as outgoing as he is, but I'm not a shrinking violet either. An amazing friend in Chicago showed me that you are never too lost to be found. Even when I was so terribly down there were still good people that care. When I was scared about what my life might be like as a gay man, a good friend showed me that being gay doesn't mean that you can't have a family. That you can have the same 'normal' life as anyone else.
As a result of the people in my life I feel I am able to be exactly who I am. I wouldn't change that for the world.
"In June, a California judge will hear a plaintiffs' motion for class certification in a case that accuses eHarmony of discrimination against gays and lesbians. eHarmony does not reject gays—it simply doesn't accept them: the only choices on the site are "man seeking woman" or "woman seeking man." A company lawyer explains that eHarmony makes matches based on unique scientific research into what makes heterosexual unions work; it hasn't done the same kind of work on gay unions, though it doesn't rule out such research in the future. While this explanation may be true, it also sidesteps the real problem. eHarmony was founded eight years ago by a conservative Christian who had a passionate interest in the benefits of shared values in heterosexual marriage—and he sold this formula within the Christian world. (Warren was not available for comment.) Today, the company desires to reap the economies of scale offered by a mainstream clientèle, and in the wider world, shared values are not as easy to compute."
I understand a site, much like a club or organization, can dictate who it does and doesn't want in the club. Some will cry discrimination, and they may be right. I am amused how eHarmony sidesteps the discrimination issue on their site, but only have two hetero sexual based choices.
Much like surveys, websites can skew the information they gather, but only offering a limited number of choices for answers. There are the obvious assumptions that because the dating site has ties with James Dobson's Focus on the Family that they are discriminating based on sexual orientation.
What explination is given for being rejected by the site? What about the assumption that gays aren't Christians or that some aren't 'conservative'? (Which I know opens a whole can of Biblical worms.)
There is really no good answer, in my opinion. Because can you really come out and openly say you discriminate again any in particular? There would be so much backlash, no matter who it was your were discriminating against. Is it just easier to play 'dumb' and act like you didn't realize you were doing anything wrong?
I posted this @ 2/12/2008 06:53:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
1/21/2008
CATCH MY DISEASE
Is there a new threat? Or just the same old one that people had been ignoring. A New ‘Gay Disease’? Considering a contestant on Project Runway recently left because of a staph infection, this was pretty timely.
I posted this @ 1/21/2008 09:43:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
10/21/2007
LOVE YOU MADLY
Maybe this is a surprise... Maybe no one cares... I thought it was interesting this was never mentioned til after all the books were written and released.
I posted this @ 8/02/2007 12:48:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
7/16/2007
I'M A HETERO. SEXUAL. HETEROSEXUAL MAN.
I have a problem with stereotypes. I know I've discussed this before, but I think it is worth revisiting. Shows like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy have been around for a while now. It's not uncommon to have a talk show with a gay correspondant talking about fashion or design or how to throw sexy parties. I can see the appeal. Perhaps "fun gays" are less threatening to television audiences because you don't have to think about them going home to their boyfriends/partners/husbands and 'disrupting morality' four times over the weekend.
I don't say this and pretend that I don't enjoy shows like What Not To Wear. I understand there is a fine line of hypocrisy that I am walking here. I am still processing this, but I think my issue is people flaunting their gayness for the sake of popularity.
Is Willam Sledd funny? Yes. He has his fashion opinions which are presented in a very entertaining way. But I question his popularity amongst the You Tube crowd because he is funny, or gay, or stereotypical. He's popular enough that he's been mentioned on The View and featured in several magazine articles. This latest article on Yahoo even starts out by stating part of the reason I question all this. "Does the world need another gay fashion guru telling us how to dress?" Are there enough already? If you have to question whether 'another' one is needed I think it's fair to say that some gay stereotypes are becoming a supernova threatening to collapse in on itself.
Would a twink mechanic flouncing about a garage be taken seriously? Would a serious stone-faced bearish fashionista be taken seriously?
It seems like if there is a role to fill that certain types of gay men are the ones filling that role. And I can figure out if it is because what the entertainment industry thinks it's what is popular or if that is really waht the public wants to see.
Or maybe I'm just filling the role of the angry gay man.
I posted this @ 7/16/2007 09:24:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
6/22/2007
JOHNNY ARE YOU QUEER? (revisited)
Wait a minute... You call someone a "faggot". You deny that you said it. The roomfull of witness say otherwise. You say it again at an awards show, pretty much forcing someone to come out. You admit that you said it. You go into therapy for being an asshat. You get fired from a top-rated drama and blame the "faggot" saying he should've been fired?
I posted this @ 6/22/2007 10:30:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
5/22/2007
JOHNNY, ARE YOU QUEER?
60 Minutes tackles the big questions. Can you tell if someone is gay by the way they move or speak? How young can you predict sexual orientation? Is there a gay or straight way of speaking? Can you create gay rats?
UPDATE: I understand that some of you may not have the time to watch the entire video. (Or the patience, because 60 Minutes decides to break up the video in 2-minute segments.) Here are a few thoughts about what was reported.
In looking at two sets of twins, where one identified with more feminine traits, there were obvious superficial differences. The boys were asked how they would describe themselves to someone they'd never met. The boy who had been identified as Childhood Gender Non-Conformity (typically these children grow up to be gay) said he would describe himself as a girl. Pink bedroom. Painted nails.
In a set of experiments done at Northwestern University, people were interviewed on camera and asked to say the same phrase. Their images wer rendered and outlined in black and white. Volunteers were then asked to identify which participants they thought were gay or straight based on mannerisms and speech. It wasn't 100% conclusive, but on average people were able to pick out who was gay or straight.
This type of research is controversial because it is said that it's just reinforcing the stereotypes. I personally think this is true and here's why. I have terrible gaydar. This isn't to say that I don't try to make calls, but I'm typically wrong. I have known several straight guys who have feminine mannerisms who are quite straight. Conversly, I know some gay men who you would never guess were gay by looking at them or interacting with them. They give off a masculine vibe. So the typical 'clues' one might perceive aren't infallible. I think the idea that you can tell based on certain stereotype isn't always the case. But promoting the idea that gay men are catty queens and lesbians are rough-necked bad-asses seems like the easiest way lump people together. All gays act like this... All lesbians act like this...
Along the same lines, I've known some guys who 'queen it up' when they are around other gay men. Yet, when you get them one-on-one they are totally different. As if it was all a show. Why bother with the show to begin with?
Back to 60 Minutes. A scientist claims he can make a lusty rat go for the guys by injecting him with hormones. This leads in to the topic of hormones that are present in the womb. The idea that sexuality might be determined during pregnancy. An interesting theory mentioned later on is that the more older brothers a boy has the more likely that he will be gay. The theory being that perhaps a mother's body treats the pregnancy as a foreign body, thus producing various levels of hormones, not present otherwise. Also adding that it's predictable in right handed boys, but not the case with left handed boys. Also, the same idea can not be applied to girls.
No matter where you fall in the spectrum of believing Nature vs. Nurture, it's an interesting report. Nothing conclusive, but interesting speculation just the same.
NEW YORK - Isaiah Washington, who came under fire after using an anti-gay slur, will appear in a public service announcement on behalf of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network.
I posted this @ 5/02/2007 02:42:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...
Wait a minute... You call someone a "faggot". You deny that you said it. The roomfull of witness say otherwise. You say it again at an awards show, pretty much forcing someone to come out. You admit that you said it. You go into therapy for being an asshat. You get fired from a top-rated drama and blame the "faggot" saying he should've been fired?
