| 11/01/2005 |
C'MON GET HAPPY
|
I've been debating about what to say in a post like this for some time. This is my blog and I have the ability to speak freely on it. Yet I was concerned about the risk of seemingly like a bandwagon supporter of any issue. I've never felt the need to come out on this blog and make some sort of announcement about my sexuality. What purpose would it serve? Who would it benefit?
How can I put this? I've re-wrote this paragraph a dozen times and I'm still not sure these are the best words to convey my meaning. I don't want to be seen as someone who is just taking up a cause or supporting an ideal because it is the thing to do or a 'fad topic' to discuss. I hope that when I mention something seriously that it can be taken as such as. I hope that I haven't blown all credibility for being able to have an opinion. Sure, I like to joke about things. (Okay... Everything.) Yet, I want to try and at least show that I have opinions too. I obviously don't know everything, nor do I hope anything I say is taken as though I think I do. Sometimes I may contradict myself. Great! Hopefully when I realize I do, I'll learn something about myself or the world around me.
There is a television show on Bravo called "Great Things About Being..." They satirically cover topics such as being... fat, queer, 30, blonde, or a red state. While the show is a little edgy and is not meant as a serious documentary of any kind, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I was flipping stations and I caught the episode where they were covering the great things about being queer. I guess they prefer "queer" because then they can also promote their other Bravo show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. (Which is a whole other topic.) I could look at it as a joke and not think much of it. Yet I could also think about the stereotypes that were being presented on the show.
So where the great things about being queer? Um... Parades. Cher. Show tunes. Being able to see everyone naked. Just to name a few. I laughed at this show. It was funny. Yet, the more I started thinking about it... the more I was annoyed by things. Not just on the show, but stereotypes in general about being gay. Is this what The Gay Man can be reduced down to? Parades and show tunes? And what is with being able to see everyone naked? Who couldn't do that anyway if they really wanted too?
Yet, I'm conflicted. When I worked at the Hotline a common phrase I could be heard saying was, "It may sound stereotypical, but it's stereotypical for a reason." I still believe that sentiment. I'm just not sure I believe it applies equally across the board.
What do you think of when you think of the typical gay man? Effeminate voice or mannerisms. Promiscuity. Good eye for design or style. Cher. Coordinating outfits. The Village People. Will & Grace.
Now do you think of any of those things, including the ones you came up with, because of a stereotype you might have in mind or because you know people who would fit that description? I would not personally say someone is stereotyping the gay man, because, as I said, the stereotype exists for a reason. Maybe I'm just trying to figure out the reason.
In a way, it is kind of like The Chicken & The Egg. Which came first? Do young men think that in order to be gay there is a stereotype to follow? "Oh, this is how you be gay."
Exhibit A: Do guys think this is what all other guys will fall for or be interested in? Yet, my question is do gay guys act like this because the think that is what they should act like or because this is how they actually are as human beings when not on the internet. Where they have a face. And a name. And a mother who would slap the spit out of them if they ever treated a woman that way.
Exhibit B: Esera Tuaolo recently spoke at a local college about equality and human dignity. As an athlete in the NFL and homosexual, I can't even imagine the conflict he must have felt. In such a masculine field where being openly gay is almost a threatening to your career as being gay in the military, it must have been extremely difficult. He speaks about his life and the choices he has made in the hopes of helping younger men and women come to terms with their own lives. He hopes to positively impact other who may be struggling with their sexuality.
So he came out. Greg Louganis "Olympic diver" came out. Recently Sheryl Swoopes "WNBA" came out. Even more recently George "Sulu" Takei came out.
The societal atmosphere is certainly different now than it was ten years ago. Ellen came out on her sitcom and it bottomed out shortly there after. The controversy behind her decision to come out on her sitcom led to a drop in ratings, advertising pressures, and marketing problems. Yet, look at her now. She has one of the most successful daytime talk shows on the air right now.
It seems to more acceptable for a Women in Hollywood to come out as opposed to men. "Oh, she's a lesbian, sure." Yet there seems to be a change in perceptions when it is an actor who has been around for a while, who suddenly comes out. "He's what?!"
A Homer Sectional!
Ok... So maybe the cultural climate hasn't changed as much as I thought.
The HRC has a set of ads out called "Tom: The Token Gay Friend". In them, Tom, the obvious token, is trying to educate his friends about equity and gender issue. Way to go, Tom! Yet, Tom... Why do you feel the need to bring up such heavy topics at the most non sequitur of moments. I know it's an ad with limited time to get the message across. Yet, maybe if Tom wasn't such a downer at such inopportune moments he'd have better luck.
Great idea. Bad follow-through.
The names in the following story have been vagued to protect the offender's anonymity.
I was at a party where only a couple people where aware of my sexuality. Granted I brought a date to the party, but we weren't hanging all over each other and I had forgotten to wear my "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is" T-shirt. So really there shouldn't have been any foreseeable reason why such a topic would come up and directed at me. Then again...
As the festivities played out and we were all hanging out talking, a friend begin talking about how her sister needed a friend to hang out with. But not just any type of friends. She wanted a guy-friend who wouldn't be interested in her. She just wanted a male friend. Someone fun. Someone... gay. She wanted to be a hag. Which was, um... ok... Were we talking about Will & Grace? Did someone mention Sex & The City and I missed it? Because where did that come from?
Then to turn and look directly at me and ask me, "Do you know any fun gay guys that my sister could be friends with?" Did I get nominated as the token gay and not know it? Why not direct it at the entire group? Why look directly at me? I thought I sensed a little bit of spitfire in the way it was said. Mainly because it seemed like the type of passive-aggressive backhand that I also verbally volley with.
Maybe there are complete logical reasons for the ways of the world that I've either not figured out yet or for whatever reason are just unaware of. Either way.. it is an interesting journey. |
|
I posted this @ 11/01/2005 02:38:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
|
|
|
|
|
|
