The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind
5/22/2004
123 4 5 678 9 10 11 12 by Sesame Street

I walked into the office the other morning to find a fellow supervisor and our Admin. Assistant having a very serious dicussion about which was more... "a few" or "several"

This topic went on for sometime. Which prompted me to ask Jay, the proofreading prodigy, about it. Which lead to how many people would constitute an orgy (don't ask...).

one
a couple
a few
several
an orgy
a group
a troupe
a hoarde
a gaggle
a mob
I posted this @ 5/22/2004 01:43:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/21/2004
THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP IS FOLGERS IN YOUR CUP by Unknown

Ok... First of all... You must have sound available. If you are reading this at work... I recommend reading this at home. You'll want sound. Trust me... You want the sound turned up to be able to hear this kind of fun!!

I really want to know what this as copy says!

John Scalzo says it reads "so you were never awake." And then something about coffee in trousers.
I posted this @ 5/21/2004 04:00:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/20/2004
TURN YOUR BACK ON THE SUN by Edna Swap

I love foggy mornings. There is something 'comfy' about them. The cool feeling in the air. The moisture in every breath. They are very Seattle to me.

Stepping outside I was reminded of when I was a child and would be on vacation with my Grandparents. We typically went to the same small town in Wyoming every year. Occasionally we would go to visit a relative somewhere else in the country.

On the way to wherever we were going we'd park our camper in an RV park, or campground, or sometimes even just a store parking lot if it was a really small town. We'd get up early so we could be on the road before too much traffic started. The air would be just like it is today… Cool… Foggy… Moist… All sounds were muffled. The fog kept things quiet and still.

I remember I'd sit in the camper and run my fingers along the window as the water droplets collected on the mesh screen. The smell of cheap metal from the mesh would be on my hands for hours. I'd curl up into my pillow and tightly hold whatever stuffed animal I had adopted that year.

I was always sad to see the sun chase the fog away. The summer sun was hot. If the fog stayed past noon, or if it turned to rain my day became even better. Rain usually meant thunder and lightning. Puddles to play in. The sound of windshield wipers squeaking rhythmically on the glass.

I would use a jar and try to capture a piece of the fog. I wanted to save it a sunny day.

The fog makes me want to go camping. Curl up on a sleeping bag in a tent and listen to the moisture and rain drip down the sides. Who wants to come along?
I posted this @ 5/20/2004 04:25:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

FIND MY WAY BACK TO YOU by Michelle Branch

This is a cool little function that I didn't know my website could do. I've seen other use it with entertaining results. I thought I would share mine with some comments added.

led zepplin rambling
-I do use song titles as post titles so no big shock here.

comical parrot names
-I hope they found what they were looking for

comical diseases
-I hope they DIDN'T find what they were looking for

post weekend ach "commercial federal"
-I'm not exactly sure how I would've come up in this search, but I did find it amusing just what someone would type… Perhaps after a weekend bender they exclaimed "Ach!" when they read their bank statement.

Americon idol AND fantasia
-Looks like a typo I'd make and probably did.

Mengele Pronunciation
-The Dr is NOT in… not here anyway.

Sean Astin Bare Chest
-Now there is a search to stand up and salute. To the person who is looking for such photos… please email me if you come across them. :-)
I posted this @ 5/20/2004 02:52:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/19/2004
8 DAYS A WEEK by The Beatles

Just some random observations that I've made over the past few days.

-There is a lady in my complex that has a fluffy, frilly pillow that says "BOMB SHELL" on in gold sparlky writing, matching fuzzy dice, and a fuzzy steering wheel. Call it a judgment. Call it an assumption. Yet, I was not expecting a 60-ish year old Grandma to get in that car. I've seen it around for sometime. So I'm pretty sure it is not just a loner car she is borrowing. GO GRANDMA!!


-I could eat a whole box of Wheat Thins, no problem. They are THAT tasty.


-When I dream, I typically have pretty realistic dreams. When I eat pepperjack cheese, I have VERY vivid dreams. They end up being quite bizarre (as dreams go).


-(From one of my calls at work) A WORD OF WARNING!!! If you are going to committe suicide by overdosing on whatever pills you find. Make sure that cocktail of capsules doesn't include stool softerners. It won't kill you, but after too many of them you'll wish they did!
I posted this @ 5/19/2004 02:52:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

MILESTONES & MEMES

First of all..
This is my 251st post!! I've been blogging for the better part of nine months and I just hit 250 posts. I'm not sure if it is good or bad thing. Oh well... Here's to 250 more!!


MONDAY MADNESS
How many different words can you make using the letters in this phrase.....
MONDAY MADNESS ROCKS
I'm cheating on this one...
I posted this @ 5/19/2004 02:47:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/14/2004
ATTACK OF THE QUIZZES!!!

Consider the source and take it with a grain of salt. They were fun to take just the same to see the results.

hug from behind
hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Innocent
Innocent


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Orange
What Color is Your Brain?

brought to you by Quizilla
I posted this @ 5/14/2004 02:20:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/13/2004
VIVA LAS VEGAS by Elvis

I've returned!! It's time for the weekend update. This one is a special once since I was on vacation. I'll try and keep it short, but I've got three days worth of activities to recap and recount.

I was up WAY too late on Friday night for getting up at 5am on Saturday morning. Three hours of sleep. After picking up Chris and his parents we left at 9:30 AM, arriving in Vegas 2 1/2 hours later. We flew on Southwest Airlines. Now I’d heard stories about how Southwest is the ‘party plane.’ The Captains are funny. The Flight Attendants are entertaining. This is a good thing… Because by God, if I am 6 miles above the ground hurtling thru the air at speeds of at least 600 miles per hour… I want some entertainment. I want my mind taken off this fact. The flight attendant made a few slip of the tongue jokes that virtually everyone laughed at, because I’m sure it was ‘the first’ time she ever said that speech that the seatbeats “fasten around your lips… uh… I mean hips.” Tho I could have done without the harmonica playing Captain. I want my Captains serious and my Flight Attendants funny.

Once in Vegas, we started out all together, until Chris had to meet up with Josh. We checked into our rooms. The desk clerk offered Chris & I a room that was already ready to go. She ‘sold’ it by saying it has a walk-in shower. “Oooo..” we both thought. Chris was thrilled to havea walk-in shower. It seemed like a cool idea. We didn’t realize what this meant till later. After that it was on our own for a while till later on in the evening till we decided to go to the Stratosphere and Fremont Street.

What can I say about the Stratosphere. I’m not a HUGE fan of open-air heights. If I ‘feel’ like I can fall… I start to panic a bit. From the inside observation deck the city looked beautiful. You could see EVERYTHING. I took some photos that I’ll post here once I get them developed. From the next story up on the outside observation deck it was considerably windy and certainly more frightening. Especially when you see one of the rides they have on the top of this towering monstrosity go over the edge of the tower…. ON PURPOSE!! This is a ride folks! It dangles you over the edge of the city. My palms are sweaty just typing about it.

Gambling wise.. I spent a fair amount of money. I’m just as entertained watching people play as I am playing myself. I did drop in a few bucks here and there and left with 400 dollars. I wasn’t in Vegas a day yet and already a winner!!

The first night was rather tiring. I had been up almost 24 hours by the time I went to bed. My feet were killing me after walking ALL day long. Everyone took a shower to freshen up a bit. We soon realized what the walk-in shower really was. It is a handicapped stall with a hose and a chair that is wheel chair accessible. The novelty of this wore off REALLY quick once we found out that a slightly sloping tile floor was not enough to stop the water from going everywhere. It was very difficult to get a good shower that way.
A couple text messages to and from my man back home and I was out for the night. I found Goonies playing on TBS and feel asleep to the sounds of Chunk & Sloth saving the day. Way to go Mikey!! YOU GOONIES!!!

The next morning Chris & Josh were awake and going WAY before I was. I slept in a couple hours longer, hoping to meet up with them later. I finally rolled out of bed. Went to the lobby to get some food. Still reeling from the previous days victory, I went back to the same machines I was on before and lost my money! Not all of it mind you, but enough to make me go back to the room and sleep some more while I waited for Chris to call. Once I heard from them I was on the go again. We met up with Chris’s parents to go to a $40 buffet. For $40 you would think that there might be certain ‘favors’ included. A gentle grope at least… Nothing! But what we did get was some of the best lobster I have ever had. I ate my $40 worth of lobster, calamari, shrimp, and other delectables of the sea.

By now we were discovering the Art of Free Drinks. If you look like you are playing you can get a free drink. (Free meaning you tip the waitress or she’ll never come and ask you if you want another drink ever again). Chris and I were become pros and figuring out ways to get our margaritas and other coke-combined liquors. Find a waitress. See which direction she is heading. Find an open slot machine a row in front of her and put in a dollar and just sit there and wait for her to come by. Voila! At one place we found some $.01 poker slot machines where the waitress came by every ten minutes. At one point I had three drinks in front of me and was gambling about $2.46 on the penny machine! Woo Woo! Look out! High Roller coming through!!

I was surprised at a couple of things. 1) I figured there would be more visible signs of homeless people or panhandlers. There weren’t. I only came across two. One bluntly asked for “spare beer money” (at least he was honest why he wanted it). And another who just sat there with his hat in front of him. No sign. No catchy phrase. Nothing.

2) I was surprised at the short Hispanic men and women who could be found on every blocked literally shoving trading cards of naked women doing things with things that surprised me. Newspaper boxes… Nope… those were nudie mag brochures. For $99 you could ‘rent’ Spice & Tia for an evening of pleasure. Kind of lost on our group… Oh well. They tried. The running joke by the end of the trip was “The streets of Vegas are paved in Titties and Booze.” Everywhere you looked there would be these nudie trading cards and empty libation containers sitting around. Then at some point throughout the night, it would all be cleaned up and the next morning it would start again.

Sunday night became a game of Vegas Survivor. Josh was the first to go. He had a few too many libations and needed to be put to sleep. The four of us went to see the Mirage and it’s volcano light/water/fire fountain. Stopped by Treasure Islands boats. Chris and I decided we were going to go check out the Bellagio fountains. So we left his parents and made our way across the street. These things were amazing! Chris’s Dad was next. He was tired (or as Chris put it) …tired of losing and wanted to go to the room and watch Lifetime Television: The Network for Women. Once they were gone, Chris, his Mother, and myself decided to live it up a bit more. We made our way around the Paris themed hotel/casino and then his mom was out for the night too. Well far be it from us to stop now. We were on vacation and by God… we were going to enjoy it. Not even realizing what time it was, we continued on and walked further down the strip to the Luxor. A huge Pyramid hotel/casino. It was truly a sight to see from the outside. Inside it seemed a little lack-luster. I wasn’t as impressed with it as my Grandmother was. It was all she talked about on her trips to Vegas. Once it hit 3am we decided we should probably head back to the hotel. As we started walking my feet because really tired. Anytime we stopped at a casino to play a few games… if I sat… it hurt to get back up. Not a good sign. I had to keep moving.

Here we were in Vegas at 3am walking down the strip and the two of us singing tunes like On Broadway, Mrs Robinson, Down On Skid Row, Monday Monday, Under The Boardwalk, New York New York, and other tunes. There was something kind of fun about that. It’s hard to explain, but that was a very entertaining thing to do just to be singing as you walked down the street. I felt like back-up dancers and a soundtrack was about to start at any given moment.

The next morning was TOO DAMN early. His parents wanted us downstairs by 8am. That was insane… we talked them into 930 and even that was pushing it. We didn’t get to bed till about 430 that morning. But hey… it’s Vegas!

Once downstairs and checked out. We left our bags with hotel security to be picked up by the airport shuttle later and we were off to go around the strip some more. Everyone went there own way for breakfast and then meet up after lunch for the shuttle. I decided to do some souvenir shopping. Chris & Josh went to run some errands for Josh’s insulin, Chris’s parents made there way to a few casinos. I was the first to return to the hotel and figured I might as well drop in my last 20 bucks I had on my in my pockets. (keep in mind I’m still up from the money I originally brought to Vegas minus drinks, food, and gifts). I put the 20 bucks in and a few coins later I hit $600. I laugh slightly and cash out with $650. I figure I’ll put the $50 back in and leave with an even $600. I hit another $150. The lady standing beside me just smiles and compliments my luck. I cash out again and tell her the machine is all hers. I’m not going back to it.

I left with money. I made enough to even have paid for the money I originally spent for the travel package. All in all, a pretty good weekend. A few celebratory cocktails on the flight home and I was a happy camper.

So my Vegas recommendations:

-Wear comfortable shoes. I escaped with only one blister.
-Go see the Bellagio Fountains. They will MOVE you.
-Take in a show. I wish I would have. Next time I will.
-If you hit big on a slot machine. Cash out and walk away from it. Don’t go back!
-Don’t touch anything that has a picture of a naked woman on it. It is very possible that a VD could be caught that way.
-Bring a stash of money you don’t intend to use. I lucked out and had money for souvenirs. Who knows when you’ll get back to Vegas again.
-Take plenty of pictures. Be a tourist. That is what the city is there for.

I know that was long winded. Just wanted to give you the run down.
Thanks for reading!!! Comment away!!!
I posted this @ 5/13/2004 04:55:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

5/06/2004
SAY MY NAME by Destiny's Child

Brenda did this on her blog and I found it rather intriguing what my results were.

While I consider my name to by very common it is the spelling of it that makes it uncommon.

Even tho I was born Christopher, I go by Cris.

Cris is a very rare male name.
Very few men in the US are named Cris.
Be proud of your unique name!
source namestatistics.com


Even my last name is common, but it is the addition of one little 'd' that takes it from Uber-common to rare.

Yet ironically enough... there are three other guys in town with the exact same name. One of them is even running for a local city election. I usually receive at least one or two calls a year, when he runs. Someone's not checking their sources!!
I posted this @ 5/06/2004 02:53:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

RAMBLE ON by Led Zepplin


-Eating an entire package of something low carb technically cancels out any health benefit of the low carb item. I used 6 (out of the 10 possible) low carb tortillas to make some po' man burritos (slap some cheese, sour cream, salsa into the tortilla and nuke it). Why did I do this? Becuase they were there.


-I would like to thank Life Savers Candy! Thank you Life Saver for giving me "10% more Free" in my bag of Fruit Fusions! This translated to an extra three pieces of candy!! Your marketing department should be comended and given a raise!!


-Not that I need more memes to do during a week, but I haven't been doing as many lately for a couple simple reasons. I don't find some of them interetsing. Typically they are used as little nugget insights to the person's blog. Ok great cool... Some I don't do because I forget that they are there or they aren't always regular. That one is my fault so I can admit to that one. Some I don't do because they are just weird. I haven't done a Wednesday blog meme because the questions have not only been bizarre, but sometimes just something a bit too private for anyone to be sharing. I know I know. To each their own... it's their blog. They can write what they choose. I know I've written some things that may have been seen as 'too personal.' I mainly say this for anyone who reads it knows that if you've not heard from me in a while in either Ramble or Meme form that I'm still around.


-An interesting thing happened the other day... My mother, who I've not physically seen in almost 20 years, but have been in email contact within the last 5, asked who the person was who scored #1 on my friend test (The first one... not the 'revenge' one). It was via email that she asked me. Now I could've easily ignored the question. I could have said "a friend." I could have responded any number of ways. I chose to be forthright. I told her it was the guy I was seeing. Which brings me to my next point...


-Is there a difference between being dramatic, having drama in your life, and being a drama king/queen? By my definitions...

What do I consider myself to be? I was say having drama in my life with a touch of being dramatic. I think I have some scenarios that are noteworthy and would make interesting conversation or therapy. I can also be somewhat animated when speaking, which adds to the overall drama effect of the conversation.

A person can be dramatic about a situation in their life that may or may not seem like it requires such drama. Might also be called over-dramatic. "I am having THE WORST day, ever."

A person can have drama in their life and handle it perfectly calmly without much hubbub. "I've had better days."

A person can be a drama king/queen by being dramatic about virtually EVERYTHING in their life. "Oh my God! Let me tell you about my horrendous day. First of all, when I woke up I had a cramp in my neck..."

I guess it all depends on whether or not the drama is their own creation or a product of a situation or the environment. For instance... my biological mother asking me who someone is is not a dramatic question. My response was. There were less 'dramatic' ways to respond. I chose the honest, non-fluff, answer. Point blank... Yet, I must admit that I'd be VERY curious to have seen the look on her face. That makes it more dramatic in my mind. Does that make me a drama king? (I'm a guy... no 'queens' needed) I believe some people create drama for themselves when they don't have any in their life. The reasons are varied and personalized to each person. This would seem to make them a drama king/queen by my definition.

We all will be various versions of these from day to day, situation to situation. I suppose I should shut up before I get too much more hypocritical. I don't mean any of this to offend. Just thought I'd use this platform to speak an opinion.


-FINALLY... I bought the new Sheryl Crow's greatest hits CD. (Yes folks.. bought... paid money for) There are two versions of the song The First Cut Is The Deepest. One of them is the 'country version.' What makes it country? I've listened to both a few times now... The country version has a lap guitar as part of the band. It is just a track laid over the actual song. How ingenious! How simply ingenious!
I posted this @ 5/06/2004 02:28:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

RAMBLE ON by Led Zepplin


-Eating an entire package of something low carb technically cancels out any health benefit of the low carb item. I used 6 (out of the 10 possible) low carb tortillas to make some po' man burritos (slap some cheese, sour cream, salsa into the tortilla and nuke it). Why did I do this? Becuase they were there.


-I would like to thank Life Savers Candy! Thank you Life Saver for giving me "10% more Free" in my bag of Fruit Fusions! This translated to an extra three pieces of candy!! Your marketing department should be comended and given a raise!!


-Not that I need more memes to do during a week, but I haven't been doing as many lately for a couple simple reasons. I don't find some of them interetsing. Typically they are used as little nugget insights to the person's blog. Ok great cool... Some I don't do because I forget that they are there or they aren't always regular. That one is my fault so I can admit to that one. Some I don't do because they are just weird. I haven't done a Wednesday blog meme because the questions have not only been bizarre, but sometimes just something a bit too private for anyone to be sharing. I know I know. To each their own... it's their blog. They can write what they choose. I know I've written some things that may have been seen as 'too personal.' I mainly say this for anyone who reads it knows that if you've not heard from me in a while in either Ramble or Meme form that I'm still around.


-An interesting thing happened the other day... My mother, who I've not physically seen in almost 20 years, but have been in email contact within the last 5, asked who the person was who scored #1 on my friend test (The first one... not the 'revenge' one). It was via email that she asked me. Now I could've easily ignored the question. I could have said "a friend." I could have responded any number of ways. I chose to be forthright. I told her it was the guy I was seeing. Which brings me to my next point...


-Is there a difference between being dramatic, having drama in your life, and being a drama king/queen? By my definitions...

What do I consider myself to be? I was say having drama in my life with a touch of being dramatic. I think I have some scenarios that are noteworthy and would make interesting conversation or therapy. I can also be somewhat animated when speaking, which adds to the overall drama effect of the conversation.

A person can be dramatic about a situation in their life that may or may not seem like it requires such drama. Might also be called over-dramatic. "I am having THE WORST day, ever."

A person can have drama in their life and handle it perfectly calmly without much hubbub. "I've had better days."

A person can be a drama king/queen by being dramatic about virtually EVERYTHING in their life. "Oh my God! Let me tell you about my horrendous day. First of all, when I woke up I had a cramp in my neck..."

I guess it all depends on whether or not the drama is their own creation or a product of a situation or the environment. For instance... my biological mother asking me who someone is is not a dramatic question. My response was. There were less 'dramatic' ways to respond. I chose the honest, non-fluff, answer. Point blank... Yet, I must admit that I'd be VERY curious to have seen the look on her face. That makes it more dramatic in my mind. Does that make me a drama king? (I'm a guy... no 'queens' needed) I believe some people create drama for themselves when they don't have any in their life. The reasons are varied and personalized to each person. This would seem to make them a drama king/queen by my definition.

We all will be various versions of these from day to day, situation to situation. I suppose I should shut up before I get too much more hypocritical. I don't mean any of this to offend. Just thought I'd use this platform to speak an opinion.


-FINALLY... I bought the new Sheryl Crow's greatest hits CD. (Yes folks.. bought... paid money for) There are two versions of the song The First Cut Is The Deepest. One of them is the 'country version.' What makes it country? I've listened to both a few times now... The country version has a lap guitar as part of the band. It is just a track laid over the actual song. How ingenious! How simply ingenious!
I posted this @ 5/06/2004 02:28:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...

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