The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind
2/26/2006

IN MY HEAD... IN MY HEEEEAD Part 2

I guess I did promise to tell you what I envisioned happening next in my little drama.

Is it a drama? Or a comedy? A dramedy? An off-beat romantic comedy? Indie? See... I don't even know. Other than the few scenes I have pictured in my ehad I'm not exactly sure where the story will lead.

This was acutally harder to write the second time. Not only because I was trying to remember all the brilliant things I'd written the first time, but because I was second guessing things. it sounded good when I wrote it the first time. This time around it just sounds hokey to me. Some of the ages and other finer logistics I'm still hammering out. So if something sound improbable because of age... bear with me.

I have ideas of who I think would make good actors to play each of the parts. Yet, rather than take the chance that it would influence how you might have these characters visualized in your own head... I'll leave that alone.

So now that I've thoroughly influnced your thinking about this next part... I give you... the next part.



SETTING: It's much later the same night. Greg and Joe are getting ready for bed. Joe is recounting running into Abby.

GREG: What rock did you find her under?

JOE: A sober one. She looked like she'd cleaned herself up pretty well.

GREG: Well that's good considering how she looked the last time I'd seen her.

JOE: So it's ok if she comes to the BBQ on Saturday?

GREG: Of course! She was your best friend when you were growing up. It'd be nice to meet your high school girlfriend. [said with a joking tone]

JOE: Whatever... [playfully tosses a pillow at Greg]

GREG: But if she tries to put the moves on you, she'll have me to deal with. [Greg puts his hands on his hips in a sassy mocking fashion.]



SETTING: It is late afternoon and everyone has gathered for the BBQ. In attendence are Joe, Greg, and Abby. As well as Dan & Yumi and Adam and Maggie. People can be heard milling about in other parts of the house. In the kitchen Greg i sregaling the group with a stories from his wilder bar jobs.

GREG: You'd get a jock in there who thought he was big man on campus. Wanting to show off to his buddies. Starting trouble. Being a prick. I'd would've cut him off sooner if I was the only bartender. So I offer to buy him a drink. I'd serve him a self-patented Tequila Sunny Side Up. A shot of tequila and orange juice in one shot glass and a raw egg cracked into another with a few shakes of hot sauce. Toss back the egg and chase it with the tequila. Shake it up and swallow. Instant breakfast! [This draw some responses of "Eew" and a couple "Gross"'s from the crowd.] Some of those muscle-heads probably drank two or three eggs for breakfast everyday. Keep in mind they've usually had a lot to drink on their own before my concoction. It wouldn't be too long before he'd turn pale and make a break for the front door or the restroom with their buddies close behind. I usually pointed them all to the door. [laughs]

ADAM: Now it can't be that bad.

GREG: You think so?

MAGGIE: Don't get any ideas. Honey, you've already had two burgers and an army's worth of potato salad. I don't thi-...

ADAM: Yeah. Those boys just couldn't hold their liquor.

GREG: So you want to give it a try? [sly smile]

ADAM: Bring it on!

MAGGIE: [rolls her eyes and smacks her husband Adam in the back of the head.]

GREG: [Greg begins to gather the needed ingredients.] Let's take this out back. I'm not cleaning up puke in here.

[Everyone makes their way outside, joined by a couple people from other rooms who have overheard what has transpired. Abby takes this moment to pull Joe aside into the brightly lit sunroom to talk to him.]

JOE: I just wanted to say I'm glad you decided to show up. Are you having a good time?

ABBY: [looking around some-what nervously] Yeah, I am. Greg is a great guy. You guys have a really nice place here.

JOE: Thanks. He lived here by himself before I moved in. Greg is the cook, so I took charge of decorating the place and added a few of my own touches.

[A few beats of silence as Abby looks around the sunroom at the displayed vacation photos and plants.]

JOE: [He takes a step closer and put his hand on her shoulder.] It really is good to see you again. After what happened back in high school and then in college... I thought for sure you'd never want to speak to me again.

ABBY: Don't be silly. We each had our own issues going on. College was hectic enough for us both. There have been so many times that I almost called you... to talk to you about everything that I was going through, but...

JOE: We all had our moments in college. I know I was going through a lot just admitting to myself who I really was. Finding myself. Finding Greg... That's why I felt so bad about sleeping with you in high school. On some level, I think I knew I was gay even then, but... [shurgs] I just had to know for sure. You know?

ABBY: [She is obviously keeping something to herself. She bites on her lips to keep it in. Is she going to cry? Is she going to get mad? Joe can't tell.] Yeah. No... It's fine. I just... I guess we always did kind of have a Will & Grace type relationship except without the comedy.

JOE: Seems like it...

ABBY: Joe, my mom's not the reason I came back to Seattle.

JOE: She's not?

ABBY: Not the only reason. I came to see you. I hoped I would anyway.

JOE: Your mom's not sick?

ABBY: No, thank God. She IS having surgery. She never has before and just wanted some family support. It's just... She's just...

[Joe is visibly confused.]

ABBY: [She sits down on. Joe remains standing taking sips of his drink.] After you left for college, I moved to the East Coast for a while. I had an Aunt who lived in New York. So I stayed with her for about 9 months. I... had a baby. A boy. [Joe is clearly surprised.] I was young. Immature, really. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to experience so much more before I ever settled down and had a family. I wasn't ready to be a mom. So I gave him up for adoption.

ABBY: [She is standing now, and moves to look out one of the windows.] I got a call about a month ago, from a woman who said she was my son's adoptive mother. Her husband had died in a car accident that also left her in pretty bad shape. She had made a promise to her husband that if anything happened to either of them that they'd tell their son the truth. He took it pretty well, surpringly enough. He said he even wanted to me his birth parents. She tracked me down and asked if I wanted to bring the father and meet him.

[Outside chants of "chug chug chug" can be heard as Adam is about to down Greg's drink. The outside group can be seen with their backs to the sunroom windows.]

JOE: So who's the Father?

[Outside cheers could be heard... followed by some uneasy "Oh!"'s.]

ABBY: I came back to Seattle to get his Father. You're the Father, Joe.

[Joe does a spit-take on his drink and sits down. Simultaneously, outside Adam can be seen through the sunroom windows running to the patio deck railing and heaving over it. Cheers and laughter follow.]
I posted this @ 2/26/2006 01:33:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/25/2006

IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME... YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAAH!

Happy Birthday!
I posted this @ 2/25/2006 04:10:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/24/2006

WHA-cho WHA-cho WHA-cho WANT?

Ok I know I said I'd post the second part of this crazy movie/tv/novel idea that I had. It was all saved as a draft. Or so I thought... I got ready to post it and it was gone so... Yeah. Sorry about that. Once I write it up again I'll post it.

So instead I am offering up two posts for the price of one. It's like you buy one and get one free... Except without the buying part. Unless you want to give me money for something. I'm down with that too!

This may be a little too much information for some of you. So you've been warned. If you don't want to know about crazy bathroom habits. Just skip on ahead a couple paragraphs.

There is a very nice young woman who is the custodian in our department. I can only imagine that she cleans more departments than just our little section of work. Which means she probably cleans a lot more bathrooms than the two I see her clean around the same time every morning as I'm coming in to work.

I know she works hard, because you can only imagine the state of some bathrooms in a hospital where people are always sick. I mean, it's a hospital. So things are sanitary, but it's also a hospital so things have to be re-sanitized a lot.

My stomach hadn't been feeling well the other day and I was brave to venture to far away from any restroom. I had barely got to work when I knew that I was going to need to make a pit stop. I rushed into the building threw my things down in my office and made my retreat to the restroom. I noticed the custodian was cleaning a nearby bathroom and actually felt a little guilty. Once I closed the door I noticed that everything had been recently cleaned and that what I was about to do was going to change that.

I washed my hands and walked out and she was standing nearby. I'm sure she was giving me the evil-eye. Since then I've been practically avoiding her. If I'm on my way to the bathroom and I see her I walk past the restroom and double back when she's gone.

I don't plan on doing this forever. I'm sure she'll forget eventually. Hopefully... Maybe I can find out when her birthday is and send her a nice card.



I've been getting a lot of weird searches leading to my webpage. Typically they are in regards to several things that I have listed on the sidebar menu. Anything about Kelly Ripa from the jeans she wears to pictures of her belly button will get people stopping by to see if I have the goods.

The latest crop of searches seems to be a bit more varied and some of them definitely unusual.

"depressing song about a soggy dictionary" What? I mean... maybe they were looking for a song and I can see being led here, but about what?

"the movie of the elektra typhoid were kiss abby and she kiss of death to baby" You might try narrowing your search to hot girl-on-girl action. If nothing else, I hope you find something to satisfy you in the meantine.

"daniel powter playing in austin tx tonight" That's great! I love the song "Bad Day". Though, I'm no where near Austin. Thanks for letting me know though.

"americon idol twins" And this is the where you looked? By the way... Running that same search to see if my blog does actually show up proved to be rather NSFW. Wow! Who knew?
I posted this @ 2/24/2006 09:17:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

2/23/2006

IN MY HEAD... IN MY HEEEEEAD... Part 1

Perhaps, this will make me seem like a complete schizo. I swear I'm not. I get ideas for movies or novels quite frequently. I'll get flashes of what I think might be a really funny scene. Or maybe it's a dramatic monologue from one character to another. The problem for me is fleshing those scenes out into something substantial.

I had a flash of a scene last night. This is how it plays out.

Let me set the mood a little. The story/movie/whatever... would take place in Seattle. The male lead would narrate at times in Grey's Anatomy fashion. The cast is in their late 20s early 30s.

CHARACTERS:

Joe - Male lead. Attractive looking. A free-lance writer who just landed an advice column in a major Seattle newspaper.

Greg - Joe's partner. Restaurant owner, but moonlights in the bar of his place as a bartender and keeps the rowdy ones under control.

Dan & Yumi - Dan is a music columnist and good friend of Joe's. They've worked together for year since Joe first moved to Seattle. Yumi meet Dan when she was the drummer for an all Asian all girl rock band. Hair pulled back in two Mickey Mouse-esque buns.

Abby - Female lead. A reaqcuainted friend of Joe's since high school. Very sweet 'girl-next-door' type. Petite. Loosely pulled back brown hair. A photographer by trade who recently moved back to Seattle to help her sick Mother.

Adam & Maggie - Neighbors of Joe & Greg and have quickly become good friends.

SETTING:
A modest house in the suburbs or Seattle. It's a rainy late afternoon. There was supposed to be a BBQ but the rain has put a damper on that.

Joe is writing at a coffee shop when Abby walks in and orders. The motion slows and Joe begins to narrarate. Most likely this is shown as a set of breif scenes rather than narration. But for the sake of the idea right now it's all voice over.

JOE: [voice over] Abby is a dear friend who I screwed over a long time ago. She was my date to prom when no other girl would give me the time of day. She was my best friend. We'd managed to keep our relationship platonic even though I knew that she would've been happy to have done otherwise.

The summer after graduation, I made plans to go off to college and Abby planned to live aboard in Europe on her Father's dime, honing her photographic skills. As one last hurrah the the whole high school gang got together for a drunken night of memories and last requests. After imbibing my own private brewery Abby got her wish and we had sex. It was the first and only time I every slept with a woman. I felt horrible that I might have taken advantage of Abby in a drunken state and avoided her for the remainder of the time till I left for college.

It wasn't until the Fall of my Junior year that I ran into Abby again. She had returned from Europe presumably and had enrolled in classes. The two years that we hadn't seen each other, a lot had changed. While away she had experimented with drugs and the party scene while I had experimented with [pause] men.

That's when I met Greg. He was a football player and well liked on campus. I was surpised when I found out he was gay, but even more surprised to hear him ask me for my number. We hung out all the time, but Greg and I didn't officially become a couple until a few year or so after we'd both graduated. He worked as a bartender in college and once he graduated worked his way up through the ranks and was now part owner in his own place.

In college when Abby found out that I was gay it only seemed to fuel her party-hard behavior. I tried to make amends for possibly ruining a friendship back in high school, but her behavior made it difficult. I met Greg, graduated, moved in, and moved on with my life. Finally landing the job I always wanted, writing for a major daily paper.

And now here she was again... I almost didn't recognize from the last time I saw her passed out on top of some frat guy. I didn't know if she's recognize or even want to speak to me. But I was going to try anyway...

JOE: Abby?

ABBY: Joe? Oh my God?! How are you?

JOE: I'm good. It's been so long. I wasn't sure you'd recognize me after... what... five years?

ABBY: [very smiley and chipper] Seven actually. It's been TOO long.

JOE: Wow! That long... [nervously] So, uh... how are you?

ABBY: GOOD! Good.

JOE: Good.

ABBY: Well... not good. I'm back in Seattle because my Mom is ill. She has cancer.

JOE: Oh man! I'm so sorry. How is she doing?

ABBY: [still trying to stay perky and upbeat, but slipping] It's difficult for her. She's getting by, but really could use the family support. You know, like, since my Dad passed away a few years ago.

JOE: Abby?! Wow! I had no idea. I'm sorry! Are you ok?

ABBY: Yeah! Yeah... I'm fine. I'm just, [looking at her watch] ...I'm sorry. I was on my way to a meeting to hopefully sell some of my photos. I hate to run off like this.

JOE: [apologetically] Of course! No it's cool.

ABBY: Maybe we could get together sometime have coffee and catch-up.

JOE: That'd be great! How about here? Same time tomorrow?

ABBY: It's a date! Well, not like a DATE date.. [laughs] but yeah... coffee and talking. Sounds good!

JOE: [laughs] Sounds good. Oh wait.... even better. Greg and I are having a BBQ this Saturday.

ABBY: Greg?

JOE: Yeah, Greg. [ignoring the obviously uneasy look on Abby's face] You should come. Let me give you one of my cards. If you'd like to go just give me call and I'll give you directions. [pause] Oh! Greg! You remember him... from college? The guy I was dating.

ABBY: No. Yeah... of course I remember. I guess I'm just shocked to hear you are still... together... and... everything.

JOE: [slowly] Yeee-ah. Look, if this is too awkward I understand, but I'd really like to catch up and you could meet some people and Greg cooks. It'll be fun! I promise. No heavy lifting. [smies]

ABBY: [scoffs] Pfft! Me? It's just... [uneasily takes the business card] Wow advice columnist for the [Seattle paper]. I'm impressed. Well, I have a question for you. What do you tell a girl who is stunned to get one of the biggest surprise of the year?

JOE: How about... "You're gonna be late for your meeting."

ABBY: [spacey] Huh? Oh my God! My meeting! Bye! I gotta r-... Bye! I'll call you. Really!

JOE: [waving a kind of leaning towards her] I look forward to it!


Next Scene Tomorrow.
I posted this @ 2/23/2006 12:25:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS!



Take the What Fruit Are You? test by Ellen!
I posted this @ 2/23/2006 12:11:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/22/2006

ALL AROUND THE WORLD

When the Internet really took off I would've never imagined it could and would bloom into something like it has. Blogs are everywhere and cover everything. If there is a topic you are interested in there is probably a blog out there for you to read about it. If there isn't, it is simpler than ever to start one of your own.

Ten years ago I didn't know anyone who blogged. Five years ago I might have heard of it, but it was online journaling. Writers who wrote regular pieces and published them on their websites. Now, you can barely surf anywhere on the web without running across someone's blog. From Poughkeepsie to Phnom Phen, everyone has a blog. Anyone with an opinion can have a blog.

Had the Internet been around a long time ago do you think people like Sigmund Freud, Martin Luther King Jr., Shakespeare would have blogged?

The Queen wants another play written by Spring. "A comedy perhaps," she says. Well, I'll give her a comedy to remember!

BTW, I did an online quiz that said my Hitman Name is "Sneaky Fingers McGee." What good fun!


If that was the case... What deceased famous persons blog would you have added to your blog roll?
I posted this @ 2/22/2006 11:42:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

2/21/2006

IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS

Someone bought the sole 365 million dollar lottery ticket in Lincoln, Nebraska. When it came on the news I stopped and watched agape. Usually when the lottery winner is announced it is an office full of people in some East Coast blue collar town who now have to split the winnings between 50 people. Which is nice, but not nearly as impressive as a sole winner. One lone person who was fortunate enough to have the computer pick the right numbers for him or lucky enough to pick his own winning numbers. Then to have it been in a place I know and have been makes it feel like such a winning could be even more possible for me, if I was to play.

So I'm a marketing foob. I buy into exactly what they are selling and hope that I too can be a winner like the lucky shmuck who has the option to take 126 million dollars, outright after taxes, and do whatever he please with it. You could have Celion Dion deported for that kind of money.

I rocked myself to sleep last night (not literally) thinking about what I'd do with that much money. You typically hear people say they'd buy gifts for their family. Cars. Houses. Jewelry. Many offer to pay off other debts or make charitable donations to worthy causes. All theses things are well and good, but how many people every really do. I'd love to hear the follow-up to some of these big winners to see if their lives have changed as a result of their winnings.

I can honestly say I'm not sure what I would do with the money if I was the big winner. What I would like to do and what I would end up doing are two different things.

I would like to give my friends some of the winnings. Share the wealth. I'd make it even. Everyone would get the same amount. But then what if So and So gets upset because she got some money and he didn't. Would giving the set amount to a couple be the same as giving a set amount to each of them individually? Would that be fair? How many people would turn their back on me because they feel slighted in some way?

I'd like to think that if a person is a true friend then money wouldn't matter. I believe that might true friends would stand up nicely to such an observation. Those friends that inhabit the outer rings of my circle of friends, while still friends, I honestly don't feel I know well enough to know how they'd react.

At my last job, I always figured that I'd make some charitable donation to the hotline so that they could hire more people or upgrade their computers or something. It seemed like a nice thing to do. What if I had decided not too? Would I have been pressured to do so or had some people turn their noses up because I didn't jump at the chance to donate? Does that make me selfish?

I know this is all hypothetical, but it's what people do when they dream or daydream. For me, not only do I look at the fun in the moment, but the long term side effects. I know money doesn't buy happiness.

Maybe I'll just save my dollar and put it towards saving up for something I really need.
I posted this @ 2/21/2006 04:15:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/17/2006

I WRITE THE SONGS

While I wouldn't consider myself a writer, I would say that I like to write. I enjoy the idea of something you've said having an impact on someone else. Which is pretty much setting myself up for the Anvils of Irony being hoisted high above my head poised to drop after I finish this entry and you all realize I can't write.

When I was in high school I took a writing class that was intended for seniors. I was a junior at the time. I felt that this made me special somehow. As if she had some insight to know that I could be a great writer.

Before this class I had already tossed around ideas of a few short stories I wanted to write. When the assignment came up to write a short story I was thrilled. We'd write it, then makes copies for everyone in the class to read. I was scared and thrilled. What might someone say about what I've created? Would they like it? Would it bomb?

During the time that we were working on our masterpieces our teacher mentioned how every year that she's given this assignment people always write about death. The whole class was morbid. Someone died in every story. She hoped to see something different that year.

My story had a death in it. It was a childhood friend who had passed away from a heart defect. I had convinced myself that my story was different. Sure, there was someone who dies in it, but they weren't killed. I wasn't writing the next great Agatha Christie mystery novel.

So when the time came to present our stories, I found that many had written such things. Death everywhere! It was crazy. There was always a justification for why they wrote about such a topic even after our teacher has strongly recommended we branch out.

The story got a decent grade. Nothing that was going to rocket me to the top of the Best Seller's List.

Later I wrote a couple stories based on my favorite television show at the time, The Highlander. In some ways they could be called fan fiction, but they weren't 'technically' fan fic. I used my real life people as models for the characters in the story. I was pleased with how they turned out. I submitted them to a coupe sites that had collections that others had written. They were decently received, but not well liked because the characters in the story weren't ones that were already established in everyone's mind. It was more difficult to enjoy a new character when you were hoping to see how someone else might write about the lead actors from the show.

Mike and I tried our hand at comic books. We drafted a few characters. We came up with some backgrounds and possible story lines. I don't know that we every actually finished an 'issue'. It was still fun!

Later, our comic idea evolved. We tried our hand at web-comics. This lasted significantly longer than our idea for a comic book. Comic strips are easier to write and draw (speaking for Mike). For me it took less to come up with an idea for a single comic strip as it did a multi-issue comic book. We made at least fifty comics. Some of which I think are very funny! Funnier than stuff that gets printed in today's newspapers.

This blog is an exercise in writing. Whether it is a long-winded explanation of a situation in my life or a quick comical story. There is plenty of opportunity to write. With the Internet and blogging there is always someone willing to read what you've wrote, no matter how brilliant or craptacular.

In an attempt to 1) practice my writing ability 2) make some sections of this blog site more concise I've changed a few things around. To the right there are now headings that will direct you to my movie and music reviews. I think that is a great way to practice my writing, as well as be somewhat informative about something I enjoy.

Many of the blogs I link I enjoy not only because of what is written, but also 'how' it's written. I read them in the hopes of feeling inspired to write my own brilliant pieces.
I posted this @ 2/17/2006 01:16:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/16/2006

101 in 1001 #23

I can't believe it has taken me this long to actually make this list.

When I put this on my List of 101 things to do in 1001 days I figured it would be easy. I love movies. I have a wide variety of genres that I enjoy. How difficult could it be to compile?

More difficult than you think... For me anyway... OK. I cheated a little, because I counted ALL the James Bond movies as one movie. So my total is 119, but I don't think anyone is going to be hunting me down for it. What's funny to me was that as I read over the list I started adding movies I'd forgotten about. So I know there are going to be movies that I'll regret not having put on the list. Let's just say this is a very amorphous list. It's every changing.

So here we go! In no particular order:

100 of My Favorite Movies!

1. The Goonies
2. The Breakfast Club
3. Sixteen Candles
4. The Muppet Movie
5. The Muppet's Take Manhattan
6. Ronin
7. The Italian Job
8. Casablanca
9. Eat Drink Man Woman
10. Cachorro
11. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
12. Amelie
13. Hero
14. House Of Flying Daggers
15. Monty Python's Meaning of Life
16. Monty Python's The Life of Brian
17. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
18. Contact
19. Star Trek: Generations
20. Star Trek: First Contact
21. The X-Files
22. Priscilla Queen of the Desert
23. The Nightmare Before Christmas
24. Rear Window
25. North By Northwest
26. Psycho
27. The Birds
28. X Men
29. X2
30. Hulk
31. Daredevil
32. Elektra
33. Spider-man
34. Spider-man 2
35. Clue
36. Dune
37. Elizabeth
38. The Wedding Planner
39. Monster-In-Law
40. The Usual Suspects
41. Kill Bill Vol 1
42. Kill Bill Vol 2
43. Pulp Fiction
44. Reservoir Dogs
45. Spirited Away
46. The Neverending Story
47. Rocky Horror Picture Show
48. Little Shop of Horrors
49. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
50. Lord of the Rings: Two Towers
51. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
52. ANY James Bond Move (20 of them)
53. Kung Fu Hustle
54. Second Hand Lions
55. Interview with a Vampire
56. Vampire Hunter D
57. The Ring
58. The Grudge
59. The Hours
60. Howl's Moving Castle
61. Girl, Interrupted
62. Stargate
63. Brokeback Mountain
64. Shrek
65. Shrek 2
66. Tomb Raider
67. The Thomas Crowne Affair
68. Resident Evil
69. Van Helsing
70. Phantom of the Opera
71. Silence of the Lambs
72. I, Robot
73. Bram Stokers: Dracula
74. Labyrinth
75. Mission Impossible
76. Mission Impossible 2
77. Clerks
78. Dogma
79. Signs
80. Sixth Sense
81. The Village
82. Stepmom
83. The Bourne Identity
84. The Bourne Supremacy
85. The Blair Witch Project
86. The Others
87. Good Will Hunting
88. As Good As It Gets
89. The Matrix
90. Michael
91. City of Angels
92. Blade
93. 50 First Dates
94. The Wedding Singer
95. The Princess Bride
96. Finding Nemo
97. Conspiracy Theory
98. Gladiator
99. A Fish Called Wanda
100. Ninja Scroll
I posted this @ 2/16/2006 11:13:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

2/15/2006

OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET

I don't know who I've told and haven't told so I'm just making an entry about it and covering all the bases.

One thing that I know I've inherited from my Grandmother is the inability to segue into a topic. While I do posses a certain amount of tact and like to bring things up at the right moment. If the situation doesn't (or never will) have a right moment... Screw the moment. Just toss it out there from left field.

On the phone with my Grandmother:

Grandmother: Bud broke his back.

Me: What? How the hell..?

According to my Grandmother, his 9th vertebra was "droopy" and 60% fractured. After running a bone scan, the doctors determined they could inject him with an adhesive that would bond the bone back together. In the few days that he was laid up before the procedure the fracture was up to 80%. From coughing...

(Remind me to tell you the vertebra story sometime...)

Bud, my Grandfather has had lung problems for many years now. About ten years ago he put himself in the hospital with a mild heart attack caused by a coughing spell brought on by pneumonia. It's like medical dominoes!

While I would swear that I've coughed or sneezed so hard that I've broken something, he actually did!

The doctors said it wasn't uncommon for seniors to have this happen. Yet I've never heard of anything like this before.

The "gluing" took place on Monday and everything went smoothly. It is a simple procedure, relatively speaking. They are weening him off pain pills and he's not allowed to drive for a while. He is also banned from using any type of heavy machinery where he'd be exposed to a lot of shaking. So he can't mow the lawn or till his garden. Which, at 85 he probably shouldn't be doing anyway...

Which brings up the next bomb my Grandmother dropped.

Grandmother: We're selling the house.

Me: What? How the hell..?

She explained that between how he won't be able to keep up the outside of the house and she is tired of having to keep up all the inside they are looking to move into a smaller place. Presumably an apartment.

I totally understand their reasons. Even if I could be there every weekend to help out they still prefer to sell it. My goal is to make sure that they find a place that is suitable and is going to meet there needs.

It's a sad moment for me. This is the house I lived in for over 20 years. It's my childhood home. I haven't lived there in almost 9 years, but it's a sentimental loss. I'll still have the memories. While I know this isn't really about me, I'd be lying to say that I'm super-excited to think that someone else will be sleeping in my old bedroom. There is a big emotional attachment.

I will be glad to see my Grandparents in a place where I know they are safe(r). Their home has steps that I worry about them having to climb daily. There is no way around it. The laundry is downstairs. For a time when my Grandfather couldn't make it upstairs my Grandmother was taking food down to him. She was going down one step at a time, will putting a tray of food one each step.

Those stairs are my biggest worry. Being an hour away is good and bad. I can get there in no time if they need some help with something minor. If something serious happens though, I'm not just next door. So it will be a nice peace of mind to find a place where all their needs are on the same floor.

There are a couple senior type hosing communities in their home town. They aren't looking for a nursing home. Just something smaller and residential.

It'll be a big adjustment for them. I hop they understand how big of one it will be.
I posted this @ 2/15/2006 01:00:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/14/2006

EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE... I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.

I know that linking to other people's posts isn't the same as actually writing a post myself. This was just to funny NOT to pass along.
I posted this @ 2/14/2006 07:20:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, HONEY, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

In honor of Valentine's Day I link you Obsessive-Compulsive Valentines from McSweeney's.

My favorite...


You and me, sitting in a tree-oh, wait, that doesn't sound very safe, does it? Let's say we're sitting on a couch instead. Huh. I wonder who sat on this couch before us. Maybe we should put some plastic wrap down. Yeah, I think we'd better. Is this a new box of plastic wrap, or has it been opened for a while? Are you sure? OK. OK. Let's just say it's new and move on. So we're sitting on a couch, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Except that I kind of feel this tingle on my lip? Like I might be getting a cold sore? Maybe we should just forget the whole thing.



I also bring you... The 8th Annual Valentine's Day Poems from Pamie.


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
I posted this @ 2/14/2006 07:11:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

2/13/2006

I DREAMED OF A CIRCLE

So the Olympics are going on... Typically I enjoy the Olympics. Yet, I'm realizing that maybe it's the Summer Olympics that I actually enjoy. What I'm finding out I don't enjoy is typing the word Olympics over and over.

The opening ceremonies were on Friday. I recorded them so they could be watched in fast forward if needed. Because... seriously... are four hours of coverage needed?

After reading Jay's take on the Olympics, I know my opinion of all of the pomp and circumstance surrounding such an occasion is almost polar opposite. Almost.

I understand why they show every nation that comes walking in. Each one is important. That I get. I understand there is a lot of pride that a nation has when they host. That's great! It's no small under taking to make sure everything is ready. From event locations, to housing, to security... It's a mini world summit every couple of year for some nation.

I have a hard time with understanding all the symbolization that goes into creating an opening ceremony. Thankfully I have Bob Costas to explain it to me like I am in remedial poetry 101. Because, that's what I need.

I can get pretty basic enjoyment from such shows. The music is typically a nice attraction. The beauty and pageantry is nice. Yet... I'm not sure if I was supposed to get any deeper meaning from a tuxedo-ed dancer striping down to become some kind of albino fish man.

What was with the cows and the mooing? I'd associate a lot of things with Italy, but I didn't get the cow reference. I understood the Botticelli reference with the "Birth of Venus" in the shell. The acrobats forming a dove in midair was impressive.

There was a pretty impressive line-up of notable figures for such an event. There were a lot of activists present. Peace activists. Equal rights supports. Noble Prize winners. And then Sophia Loren...

Being completely catty for a moment... Sophia Loren is an acting legend! She looks like she has had so much plastic surgery, they warned her to stay away from the torch when it was lit, so she wouldn't melt. It was kind of scary.

Speaking of torches... One of the highlights that I do look forward to with each Olympic ceremony is 'how' they light the torch. This year was no exception. The pyrotechnics that were used were very impressive. Fountains of sparks sprayed in domino-style formations all around the stadium before finally making it's way up to the torch. The torch itself is a helix-esque tower of metal and flame. That was impressive. I'd bet the heat that came off from all that fire was immense.

I haven't watched any of the coverage of the actual sporting events. I did read that the networks were going to do less competitor spotlights in favor of showing the actual competitions. Then they would toss nuggets of knowledge about the athletes at us during the event. Their reasoning? Americans were getting bored. The stories were formulaic and there was a shift back to the competition.

If you are watching, I hope you enjoy it. Tell me who wins.
I posted this @ 2/13/2006 05:42:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/10/2006

TIME GOES BY... SO SLOWLY

It's time for another rambling post. RBace yoruself. The turns can be sharp and hazardous.


Ok... they've only been pimping the Winter Olympic Games for at least a month if not more and I just realized that Torino and Turin (as in The Shroud of...) are the same place. So much for considering myself a geography buff.


I like watching the Teen Tournament on Jeopardy because I get a higer percentage of the questions right. So what if being smarter than a bunch of 16 year old nerds doesn't count for jack squat. At least I can drive.


The Grammy awards started off the show by mashing two of my favorite songs (at the moment). The Gorillaz' Feel Good Inc. with Madonna's Hung Up combined to make pretty damn good opening act.


As much as I hate to admit it... Project Runway is kind of a good show. The fashion designers all sewing their little hearts out to win design contract is pretty interesting to see.


I am discovering that I am The Cooler for this years Survivor contestants. Two weeks into it, and the two people that I've picked as my favorites have both gone down in flames. Maybe I should start rooting for some of the more annoying contestants. I'm sorry Tina and Melinda. You seemed like good people. That's why I was rooting for you. You just got stuck with stupid people who'd rather focus their chi on creating positive energy than building a shelter.


I've got a couple of things to write about coming down the pipe. Look for them in the next few days.
I posted this @ 2/10/2006 12:32:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/08/2006

EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE, I'LL BE WATCHING YOU

So Jay is looking into taking a CPR class. I think it is a worthwhile venture. It is aslo on my 101 List. Which would be nice ot have another task checked off.

Two jobs ago the group home I worked for made sure anyone who worked with the kids had standar CPR training. Having just finished a stint on the local rescue squad I was already familiar with what to do. The half-day training would've been rather boring if I hadn't been allowed to test out of it. During the initial demonstration the teacher would treat the Resusci-Annie as his personal gimp. With no real emotions in his voice and devoid of personal attachment to the apendageless amputee he would fling her about saying, "Annie! Annie! Are you ok? Are you alright? Someone get some help!" Which was the class clown cue to stand up and act like he was going to actual... well you see where I'm going with that.

Now my job is less than vital when it comes to knowing CPR. While I still remember the basics of what to do and feel comfortable in helping someone... there is little chance that someone may need CPR. Even if they did... I'm in a hospital. I can't throw a punch without hitting a doctor.

I've known a couple people who either did or wanted to work as an EMT as part of rescue squads. The training that goes into such a job is no easy task. It makes my year and a half on a volunteer squad seem like a game.

I was thinking about this again after the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy. A rookie EMT (played by Christina Ricci) put her hand inside the chest wound of a man who was hit by a homemade bazooka shell. While I certainly did nothing like this... Thank God ...my first call was for a man who had a heart attack while in town visiting his family. When we showed up on scene, at Arobor Lodge (if you know the place), he was conscious but obviously having difficulty breathing. He was 'resting' on some stpes, but I wouldn't say the position his was sitting was by his own choosing. I think it might have been where he landed when he fell or tripped or just stopped moving. Whichever it might have been... He didn't look comfortable.

As we loaded him up in the squad my job was basiclly to play gopher. I did manage to get a chance to take his blood pressure and heart rate, which was cool but nerve wracking. The energy of what was going on... combined with obvious newness of my ability... combined with the unavoidable reality that someone who hurt in front of you... didn't make things easy at first.

While I feel inept at trying to describe what exactly goes through a person's mind or how other react in such a situation, I can see it played over and over in my mind with great detail. The smell on the ambulance (diesel mixed with antibacterial). The cool feel of the air. The look on my first patients face.

If you know where I grew up you know that you can get anywhere in town in ten minutes. By ambulance... Maybe five. There was a lot of work being done to this guy. Even more so once we reached the hospital. After we passed him off the adrenaline is still there, but the need for it has gone. We cleaned, restocked, and repacked the squad and drove back to the station.

I found out a coupel days later that he had passed away. He was elderly and had a heart condition. This was not his first issue with his heart. Which was supposed to make me feel like it was okay that he died.

I though about that guy for two weeks after the call. Not in a tragic way. Honestly not even in a I feel-for-his-family way. With whatever good and bad comes of such a situation.... It was (and still is) a moment in time that I won't forget.

There were many more calls after that in my short time as part of the volunteer squad. Some were way more intense. Many were mundane and routine. I think it goes without saying that it's times like that where I think about what I am doing with my life. Am I doing what I can to help people? Is there something more I can do?

Well.. I hadn't intended to get sappy. So I'm just going to stop there.
I posted this @ 2/08/2006 09:09:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

2/05/2006

HOOKED ON A FEELIN'

Feelin' blue? Have no fear! How about David Hasslehoff singing Hooked On A Feelin'.

Trust me... you'll hate to love it!
I posted this @ 2/05/2006 03:20:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

2/02/2006

ALL THESE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE

The preparations for losing weight weren't uncommon from what I tell teenagers who are trying to quit smoking. Make a plan to quit. Set a quit date. Tell your friends and family so they can support you.

A list of healthier menu items was put together. I told a lot fo people via my blog or personal conversations. We choose Monday as our day to begin with a healthier eating habits and lifestyle.

But let me tell you... those last few days up to Monday were amazing! We pigged out in true Fat Tuesdayian style ate anything we wanted or were craving.

-Hotwings from Wingstop
-Cheese & Onion Enchiladas
-A Bacon Double Cheese Burger
-A Chili Cheese Burger
-Mexican Dip (cheese, ground beef, olives, and sour cream)
-Fried Mushrooms

You would've thought we were two escapees from the Biggest Loser training camp.

The thing that strikes me as odd was that I weighed 213 prior to my weekend eating binge.

I'm jogging three times a week for 45 minutes, and working with weights when I feels up to it. Because diet alone won't do the trick.
I posted this @ 2/02/2006 10:54:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...

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Counting Sheep
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