The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind
12/23/2007

DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AT ALL

I'd been meaning to write about this, but just didn't get around to it til now. Mark and I released our catty-bitch sides for an evening (just an evening you mutter under your breath) and drove around Omaha checking out Christmas lights. We didn't stick to just one part of town or even one socio-economic part of town. Why do I bring 'money' into it? Simply put, just because you have money doesn't mean you have taste.

My own disappointment with the evening is that I forgot my camera to photo-document that experience. Looking back on it, it's probably a good thing. I ran a stop light and stop sign as we were touring. I wouldn't have needed a camera to be another distraction.

I am pretty particular when it comes to Christmas lights. There aren't really 'rules' per se, but there should be some pretty easy to follow guidelines.

-First of all. Don't mix styles of lights. If you have some blinking lights, some colored lights, some big bulb lights... don't put them all out. Pick the kind you like and stick with that. Too much mixing looks sloppy.

-If you are going to insist on wrapping your leaf-less tree in lights, trunk and branches are fine (even if you do pick some bizarre combo of colors). decorating just the limbs is fine. But taking one strand of lights and wrapping is haphazardly around the trunk is not.

-Led lights hurt our eyes. Please stop.

-If you like those inflatable decorations, keep it limited to one, maybe to. Do not make the decoration larger than your house. Yes I'm taking to you Mr Neighbor who has an an inflatable snow globe that sprays fake snow around inside it around some wintery scene and is literally taller than your house. Your neighbors hate you.

-When decorating a pine tree of some kind try and decorate the whole tree, not just part of it. "Part" being defined as... just the top part or the side facing the street. I'll give you a pass on this if it turns out a strand of lights were burnt out.

-Try not to do the exact same thing as your neighbor. People won't know who did it first and it'll end up with both of you looking foolish. Break out your own idea.

-If you are going to break any of these... 'rules' then by all means GO BIG! Go all out. Over the top circus tacky, can be fun too. You'll get visits that way as well. But don't phone it in. You gotta commit to crazy.

I wish I had photos to show you examples of each of these things. But I don't so instead I give you...

...MORE CRAZY STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIALS!!!





In this clip, The Wookies are high as kites and Carrie Fisher gets someone to sing for her. My vote is Florence Henderson.

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I posted this @ 12/23/2007 04:54:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

ALL MY LITTLE PLANS AND SCHEMES, LOST LIKE SOME FORGOTTEN DREAMS

"...seems that all I really was doing was waiting for you."

I've had something on my mind lately. Maybe it's a rant. Maybe it's a bit of personal introspection. Either way... It's not meant as anything personal to anyone. It's just me speculating 'out loud' and opening the topic for discussion and debate.

When backed into a corner what do you do? Do you curl up... lash out... push forward hoping to gain some ground? How do you react? Perhaps "into a corner" makes us think too much of a conflict. Have you been in a situation where you had nothing to lose so why not put it all out there and hope for the best. I know that I've done that before. Sometimes too little, too late. But still... At least I can go down knowing that I did what I could. I gave it my all. No regrets.

It's a humbling experience. You are already feeling low. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it's worth the risk of putting yourself out there any more than you already have. But it's all about the risk. It's win-win if it works out. Some people are more willing than others to put themselves out there and take the risk.

This is a poor analogy, but it reminds me of some of the monsters in WoW. As their energy is being depleted, in a last ditch effort they strike out with one last powerful blow. They give it their all, and why not? It's about the fight you have in you. Are you a passionate person? Can you muster something within yourself to make a comeback?

Some people wear their feelings on their sleeve for all to see. I'm one of those people. Yet I'm a thinker too. I know that when I've been in such a position in the past that I put up a fight for something or someone I care about. Yet even in less drastic times, people who know me know that when I have something on my mind I'll end up saying it. Sometimes you gotta be both a lover and a fighter.

To those who fight... I hope it works out for you!

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I posted this @ 12/23/2007 04:47:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/22/2007

AT THE STAR WARS... STAR WARS CANTINA...

What do you get when you take Jefferson Starship, and some Bea Arthur, and divide it by Star Wars? Why it's the Star Wars Holiday Special, of course...



I... don't know...

Tho I think it's obvious why MST3k is providing audio commentary.

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I posted this @ 12/22/2007 07:16:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/19/2007

GO ON AND TAKE IT OFF

A much needed haircut was in order today. I figured why not be a comment whore and post a before and after the shearing shot.


Before & After

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I posted this @ 12/19/2007 11:51:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

12/18/2007

YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO ASK ME A QUESTION

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
A little bit of trash and an umbrella.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Just over two years ago. I was on darvocet and it did not agree with me. I threw up and felt even higher than before.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
Twatflaps (Thanks babe)

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Mark, an two coworkers.

5. What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning?
I was working.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing WoW

7. Where were you born?
Nebraska

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not to my recollection.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Love you. Bye.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Chocolate chip cookie dough.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water

12. What are you wearing right now?
Lounge pants and wife beater. I'm classy like that.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Lemon wafer cookie

14. Have you bought any new clothes this week?
I wish.

15. Where were you last?
At work.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Uh... Wow... I can't think of one right off the top of my head.

17. Who won?
No clue.

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
I don't use MySpace.

19. Ever go camping?
A long time ago.

20. Where do you live?
'Nerbraskie'

21. What song are you listening to?
Kate - Ben Folds Five

22. Do you have a tan?
LOL God no... I so white it hurts.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
If it necessitates a straw, yes.

25. What did your last text message say?
"I've never had that happen, but I usually fill up at 3:00 AM."

26. Who's your best friend?
Mike.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Getting my hairs cut. Last minute Christmas shopping. Sleeping. Not in that order.

28. Where is your mom right now?
Soldotna Alaska. I guess... no idea really.

29. Look to your right, what do you see?
Two electronic pianos keyboards

30. What color is your watch?
I don't wear a watch.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Sydney Opera House and that big bridge by it.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yup

33. What is your birthstone?
Sapphire

34. Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through?
Drive-thru

35. What is your favorite number?
8

36. Do you have a dog?
Not a real one.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Brenda

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Wil Wheton.

39. Any plans today?
It's evening... So... sleep?

40. How many states have you lived in?
One

41. Ever go to college?
Yes

42. Where are you right now?
In the living room.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Distances.

44. Last song listened to?
Uh... Mickey Avalon - Jane Fonda

45. Are you in love with someone right now?
Absolutely

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Oh god yes...

47. Favorite pair of shoes?
my green keens

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes.

49. Is anyone jealous of you?
I don't know.

51. Do you love anyone?
Didn't I already answer this? This questionnaire would be shorter if it wasn't for the repetition.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes

53. Do you eat healthy?
No.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Talk to busy busy doctors.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Not that I can think of.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Not daily...

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
34

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes

60. How did you get one of your scars?
Who said I have scars? I have a scar on my butt.

61. What do you want for Christmas?
Peas on Earf. ...and My boyf by my side!

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I posted this @ 12/18/2007 06:23:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/17/2007

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

Mark and I finally went to see The Mist over the weekend. This is a big deal because since I read that Stephen King story oh so many years ago... I've not touched it since. As I'm sure I've mentioned before it's the only King story to give me nightmares. In my dreams about it, as a kid, I was trapped in the supermarket with them.

In case you aren't familiar with the story, an eerie mist settles in to a small town in Maine. It's origins remain unknown for most of the movie. It turns out there are creatures in the mist. Acid-web spitting spiders. Scorpion-tailed bugs that look like locust. Pinkish pterodactyls. Sound like an LSD trip? Trust me... it might as well be.

Those that have sought refuge in the market split up into various archetypal groups. You have the non-believers. The suicidal. The fool-hearty. The survivalists. The doom-sayers. It's frightening how quick everyone devolves into a more primal type when faced with a life-threatening challenge. It's part of the reason I posted that question the other day about what you might do if you had an hour to live.

While I think it's impossible to say for certain what anyone might do in a situation that traps you... I'd like to think that I'd fall into the non-believers or the survivalists. I've always said that I tend to 'Scully' things. I want to believe, but I want proof. Plus, I'm pretty scrappy. I don't think I'd go out without a fight.

The movie puts more of a 'finite' ending to the story. More than the book did. I think that is part of my problem with the book. In my mind I had no closure. No idea how the creatures were, or if, they were destroyed. The movie answers that question.

While I won't give away the ending I will say... It is a total downer. Seriously. It ended how it had to end, but I needed a pick-me up afterwards.

A white chocolate mocha and driving around the city judging Christmas lights did the trick. But that's a WHOLE other post yet to come.

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I posted this @ 12/17/2007 06:04:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

I'M IN A HURRY TO GET THINGS DONE

Be warned! This is not a food friendly post. You've been warned.

I fully admit that of all the rooms in my apartment, I hate cleaning the bathroom the most. I clean it when it needs it, but overall... it'll be the last room that gest cleaned. So I'm not really one to complain about how 'kept' a bathroom is. Yet in some bathrooms I will bitch. Why? Because in public bathrooms there are certain things that are just... bizarre. For example... would you wipe boogers on the stall wall? Because sure... Nose picking in the bathroom I'm not one to balk at. But wiping them on the wall? (Hee... I said "butt wiping".)

Speaking of butt wiping. What possesses a person to crap on the toilet seat? Like towards the front of the u-shaped seat. Think about the logistics for a second. What type of manuver is someone pulling that poo gets smeared towards the front. And this is in addition to several other 'leavings...'

Am I a prude about this? Gosh no. Like I said, my bathroom isn't the cleanest. When only guys uses a bathroom, hair ends up in places. Clogs happen. Midnight pee-breaks result in missage. Fine. What I find amusing is that even with a cleaning crew this stuff remains. Even if I was cleaning the public bathrooms myself, I'd question what makes someone want to revert to childhood days and do these things.

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I posted this @ 12/17/2007 06:01:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/14/2007

THIS COULD BE THE VERY MOMENT I'M AWARE I'M ALIVE

You have just found out that you have an hour to live. What do you do? Do you eat everything? Hold your loved one? Take any drug you can get your hands on? Pray? Get plastered? Screw like rabbits?



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I posted this @ 12/14/2007 02:20:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/06/2007

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

Christmas LightsI enjoy decorating for the holidays. Having the apartment lit with warm Christmas lights is like having a few hundred candles going. I should take more care when I am putting them away. I do my best to wind them into a neat coil, but something about having them sit... motionless... for months... apparently gets them all tangled up?

I'm pretty particular when it comes to Christmas lights. They should be all the same style. All white. All blinking. All chasers. All multi-colored. All large bulb. Whatever... as long as they are consistent. You can be over the top. You can be uber-cheesy or campy. That's fine too. But if you're going to do that go all out.



Let There Be Lights!Let There Be Lights!


Happy Little TreeMy tree is pint-sized. Living in an apartment, it's hard for me to justify making space for a large tree that the majority of the time only I'm seeing. Mark is a tree-trimming aficionado. If we were living together I'm sure there would be some changes to the type of tree we had. But for now, my little table-top tree works just fine.

Overall I like my apartment decorated. If I didn't think it would be odd I'd keep the lights up all year around. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday.

Ho Ho Ho...

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I posted this @ 12/06/2007 03:51:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/05/2007

...

No matter where it happens... you never expect it. Especially SO very close. I figured the sirens were heading to the nursing home. There have been police helicopters going around all day since.


Man opens fire at Omaha mall, killing 8
13 minutes ago

OMAHA, Neb. - A man with a rifle opened fire at a busy department store Wednesday, killing eight people before taking his own life, in an attack that made holiday shoppers run screaming through a mall and barricade themselves in dressing rooms. Five more people were wounded, two critically.


map


I think I'll hold off on getting a haircut there tomorrow.
I posted this @ 12/05/2007 03:07:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

COFFEE & TV

For years, while others have nurtured their coffee craving desires, I've been content to sit on the sidelines placidly. Perfectly happy with my teas and sodas. If I wanted a caffeine boost I turned to Coke or Dr Pepper. If I wanted something warm, there was always hot tea. Only occasionally dabbling in the dark roasted arts, I drank very few concoctions procured from baristas.

Many years ago, when I first started working overnights I convinced myself that coffee, like beer, was an acquired taste. A taste that if I was to stay up all night I would need to possesses. I purchased a small coffee maker, a can of Folgers, and the ingredients I thought I'd need to make this cup of hot brown water palatable. I was unable to find any combination of ingredients to make the coffee something I would want everyday. I ended up giving the rest of the coffee away and who knows where the coffee maker really is.

That was then... this is now. Still not a big coffee drinker, I found myself craving a white chocolate mocha. A drink that I've had a handful of times, ever, but that I knew I could at least stomach. Maybe it was the lack of sleep combined with the approaching Thanksgiving holiday. On my way to my familial home I stopped at Starbucks to get one. It was the best coffee I'd ever had. Ever! Which... really isn't saying much given my short engagement with the bean. Since then I've had a white chocolate mocha every few days. I suppose this is how it starts. Like a gateway drug to stronger, more daring drafts, this more-dessert-than-drink beverage has found it's way into my life. Curse you Starbucks... Before you know it, I'll be ordering grande skinny mocha-frappa-dapple-ccinos with room. And small cup of ice, cause... DAMN coffee is hot!

Argh...

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I posted this @ 12/05/2007 10:11:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

12/04/2007

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

Ok... So let me get this straight.

On the SciFi Channels 'sequel' to The Wizard Of Oz, the guy they end up seeking to help them find Dorothy Gale, is called Ahomo. A... Homo... leads them to Dorothy.

I can't write funnier things.

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I posted this @ 12/04/2007 07:24:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

EYE OF THE TIGER

Sometimes I do stupid things...

Today had a couple shining moment where I had a case of the dumb.

Packing my lunch, at the butt crack of dawn.... Earlier, the anus of dawn... Anyway, as I'm packing my lunch and putting a handful of BBQ chips in a baggie, I rubbed my eye. AAARRRGH!!! Nothing like trying to drive to work and flush out the burning sensation of mesquite from your cornea.

The other one isn't so much stupid as it is oblivious. I've had my Jeep for over a year and a half. Today was the first day that I noticed it had Daytime Running Lamps. I've never used them, tho I've wondered if my Jeep even had them. They were found on accident as I was trying to turn on my dome lights.

Nothing like being observant. Good thing my job doesn't require me to be quick and S-M-R-T. Oh wait...
I posted this @ 12/04/2007 05:08:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/03/2007

RIDE THE PONY! RIDE THE PONY!

My new favorite commercial!



I posted this @ 12/03/2007 06:29:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

CANDY EVERYBODY WANTS

Can You Tell Gotcris From Butter?

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more gotcris slogans.



As a little side note. When thinking of a song related titled for this post, I immediately thought of the 10,000 Maniacs song, Candy Everybody Wants. Mainly because they have hilarious little slogans throughout the video, like "The Bland Leading The Bland."

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I posted this @ 12/03/2007 05:47:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

12/02/2007

SAY MY NAME

How could anyone resist Snooky Spirit-Fingers?







Christmas Elf Name


My Christmas Elf Name is







Get your Christmas Elf Name



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I posted this @ 12/02/2007 03:36:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

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Counting Sheep
Originally uploaded by Fib.