I am being upfront when I say that this is totally a PMS post (Poor Me Syndrome). So keep that in mind.
I just got back from a job interview. I think it went well. It seems rare lately that I feel like I'm not just pulling the answers out of my ass. Apparently I went to college with woman doing the interview. Hopefully that puts a couple bonus points in my column.
I'm just sick and tired of the race. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 2nd place to anyone else when it comes to a job, money, etc... Call it jealousy or whatever you want. Sometimes I feel like I've made the wrong choices for my life and I would lose too much to try and take another road.
I'm envious of people that are younger than me, smarter than me, luckier than me, who are making more money and have a better job. Silly me for following my heart and wanting to make a difference in the world or in someone's life. Appreciation to Money conversion isn't worth shit when you've got bills to pay.
I know people younger who make twice as much as me. It makes my stomach turn. Why did I have to pick psychology? I know people who speak two languages fluently and have jobs literally handed to them because of the demand for bilinguality. I'd love to punch the career adviser it the neck who said that psychology was going to be a needed career in the coming years. Way to flood the market, jackhole!
I'm in a vicious circle at the moment. A better paying job takes a Masters degree. A Masters degree takes money. Money comes from a better paying job.
I know there are ways through this. I'm not saying this in some desperate cry to a world that I am oblivious too. I know what can be done, but that doesn't change my current feelings.
I understand part of how I'm feeling is because I'm comparing myself to other people. It's apples and oranges, as they say. Logically I get it. I get that just because my choices were different doesn't make them wrong. But dammit it sure feels like it.
In a couple days I'll shake this off. I'll realize what I do have and look to the future of the potential that is out there. In the meantime, there will be stewing and some tantrum-throwing.Labels: job, life, money, rant |
