The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind: March 2006

The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind

3/31/2006

ROAM IF YOU WANT TO

I typically pride myself on knowing where I am at all times. It is rare that I can't at least tell you what direction I'm facing. I've always been good with maps. Those spatial puzzle tests on the ASVAB and standardized testing was always a favorite of mine. I like the mental aspect of folding or putting the pieces together in my mind to figure out what it's supposed to look like.

What has recently amazed me is my surprise at where things are located in Omaha. Now, if you're not from Omaha some of these will seem pointless. But hopefully the overall idea will still come across.

I've lived here since 1997. So I know my way around town pretty well. I know all the major streets. I can get most anywhere in town in good time. If need be I can print off a Yahoo map and find my way easily.

My job takes me to different schools in the metro area. Schools that I would otherwise have no reason to go to. What is surprising me is where these schools are located and I've never really know that. For example, Omaha North is located only a few blocks off of a road that I drove on several times a week. But because I never turned at this particular block, I never knew the school was there.

The same could be said about Millard South. There is a large water tower near the school. I know where Millard South is located, but I didn't know to recently how close to this large water tower it actually is.

If I could draw a map of Omaha based on where I believe everything to be. I'm sure there would be a lot of things spaced farther apart than they actually are. It's just an example of how 'unfamiliar' something can seem even in a place that is very familiar.

I posted this @ 3/31/2006 11:10:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

HEART AND SOUL

These sound like dishes I'd order at the Indian Oven. I'm curious as to the response.

Cris's Johari - These are possible good things about me.

Cris's Nohari - These are possible bad things about me.

Remember! I'm making April "Ask A Question" Month. Email me a question if there is something you've always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask. It can be personal, light-hearted, maybe not answered by me in this blog somewhere... Take a stab at it and so will I!!

I posted this @ 3/31/2006 10:22:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/29/2006

MY BABY WROTE ME A LETTER

I think I missed out on the 'official' Ask A Question month for most of March. So I've decided to do this for April. If you have a question that you want to ask me. Feel free to use the little email icon in the column to the right. Drop me a line with your question and I'll answer it here in the blog. Maybe it's about something that your curious about. Maybe it's a topic that I've not discussed on this blog. Pretty much anything is fair game. I'll be taking your questions the entire month of April.

I posted this @ 3/29/2006 06:30:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

I'M ONLY HAPPY WHEN IT RAINS

I had a conversation that other day in which I realized that I can sometimes be blindly optimistic. I know everyone has a bad day, or that even endless optimism can get tiring. I like to think that optimism is a good thing. Annoying perhaps, but hopefully understood to be well meant. I don't begrudge anyone who isn't optimistic. In a way, it is refreshing.

I took a stab a talking about serious and heavy topics on this blog. It didn't last for long. I quickly came to the realization that there is a lot of shit going on in the world. While I certainly have opinions on much of what happens. I think that talking about it or spending a lot of mental energy on it should be left up to people who do it best. Or at least better than I could do.

I can understand if I am seen as being superficial or immature. It would make sense given that while I write the occasional 'meaningful' post I don't typically take on the world with my blog.

I think a lot of my optimism stems from the notion that I can't really let myself get bogged down with the shit going on in the world. We all have our shit that we go through. And while we can be supportive, sympathetic, and empathetic to each other, when you get right down to it... we are solely responsible for bringing ourselves out of the our funks. So rather than have to dig myself out of said funk I try not to remain there for long if I can help it.

People are murdered. Women are raped. Children are abused. Son and daughters are killed fighting for their country. A person may contemplate suicide. Another may use drugs to escape their worldly problems. Minorities of all kinds are oppressed. Human rights are denied. Freedoms are threatened. Kids fight with their parents and runaway. Spouses cheat. Marriages end. And it all plays out on the evening news for the world to see.

We all know it happens. I haven't turned blind eye to it. I just choose not to dwell on it all the time. Occasionally I might even write about it.

I posted this @ 3/29/2006 06:23:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/27/2006

RAMBLING ROSE

I thought about writing each one of these topics as seperate posts... then I'd have to think of song lyrics that even remotely related to the topic... and it's Monday and I really don't have the desire to start off like that.

Let the rambling begin!!!

Do you ever get a craving for some food and no matter what else you try and satiate your hunger with it just doesn't compare? I was craving Katie's so much when I woke up on Saturday morning that it was actually painful. Typically hunger pangs are what wake me up anyway on the weekends. This was better because at least my body knew what it wanted. Thus, saving me the fruitless trips to the pantry and fridge to find that elusive element that would silence the rumbling beast, that is my tummy.

Katie's, for those of you who aren't local, (I'm big in Europe, you know) is the best Greek restaurant in the city. Perhaps even in several cities. Billie runs Katie's with siblings. What I didn't know until recently is that they are actually related to several other restaurants in town. From my understanding, their cousin runs their competition in the Greek food business. There is also a cousin who runs a pizza place in the metro area. Food runs in the family.

So Katie's... specifically I was craving their saganaki. Greek kasseri cheese, flambeed with brandy and doused with lemon juice. Served with pita, it is tart and tangy and delicious. Now this is on top of their kick ass salad. Specifically their salad dressing, which I would marinate myself in, if I could.

Have you had Tzatziki? A cucumber-y yougurt dip with oregano and garlic. Yum!

I left there feeling full but not bloated full because I eat everything in sight. Even had a dessert (which I rarely do when I go out to eat).

I've not been sleeping well lately. Typically I sleep on my side facing the edge of the bed. Or at least that is the position I fall asleep in. I'm sure I don't stay that way all night. So anyway... I've not been sleeping well and partially due to the fact that I've been sleeping on my side. So I've been waking up with this pain in my side extending up into my bicep, like I've pulled a muscle. So the decision was made to flip sides.

I honestly had no idea that it was going to be such a habit to break to sleep in a different way. But to make an effort lay on my other side has actually been 'confusing' for me. I've been doing this all weekend and at least a handful of times I've woke up and had to orientate myself to where I am.

Do long-time married couples do this? Why do you sleep on the side of the bed you sleep on? Have you ever switched and been thrown out of whack like this? Am I just crazy? Tune in next week!

I watch too much TV as it is. I admit this. Before TiVo and such, I can recall making plans around shows. With it, it is so easy to just record a night of programming and watch it at my convenience. While cooking... or cleaning... or obviously when nothing else is on. The last thing I need is more TV shows to become addicted to viewing. Yet I think it has happened.

You might recall my late arrival into the world of Project Runway. It was a great show and had all the personality and drama, without having to spend a month on a tropical island beach picking sand fleas out of your hair.

In it's absence, Bravo has introduced Top Chef. Chef compete for a job and title of "Top Chef"... which honestly.. who cares about a title. Half of these contestants already think they are Top Chef anyway.

It's delicious television! (Obvious pun.) It has all the making of a dramatic, catty, entertaining series. I started out only 'half-watching'. It was on while I was doing other things. Then just hearing these people talk I'd have to stop and see what the bitching was about.

My favorite episode so far has been the most recent one where the chefs had to prepare meals for 8 to 12 year old boys and girls at a local Boys & Girls Club. Simple? Maybe... Could you do it using mug fish (?) as your secret ingredient?

So I'm thinking that these kids are never going to know. Just make fish sticks and don't tell them it's from the ugliest fish you've ever seen in your life. A fish with angry teeth and skin that looks like a lizard. Easy!

Well, of course it can't be THAT easy. The 'host' (who sucks as a host) gathers all the kids around and in her best FM Morning Radio voice asks the kids who likes chicken. All the kids raise their hands. Another round of who like hamburgers almost gets a standing ovation. "Who likes fish?" [crickets chirping] She then goes on to further set-up the chefs by showing them what the fish they are going to serve them looks like. She might as well... tell them there is no such thing as Santa and the Easter Bunny while she's at it. Cruella then tosses the chefs into the cadre of kids to try and win them over to PLEASE JUST EAT ONE BITE!!! Parents, can you relate?

Well one time devises these corn dog like food which the kids enjoy. The other goes for mug fish nuggets. Muggets? Good luck with those! My favorite part is sommelier, Stephen explaining to the 8-year old girls what a galette is. Because... pre-teen inner city kids are all about the French cuisine.

So let's recap... Greek. Bed. Top Chef. Yup. Sounds like rambling to me.

I posted this @ 3/27/2006 12:19:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/24/2006

SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

I don't talk about my job much, becuase half the time there isn't much to talk about. Also, there is the whole job + blog = bad karma that I typically like to avoid. But there are some things that I think are worth mentioning. If nothing else just to see what others think about it.

Without boring you with the glorious details my job, basically we go to high school to train non-smokers to talk to their smoking friends in an effort to try and get them to quit smoking.

The reaction I get when I tell people this is what I do typically is either 1) "I don't smoke, but my [friend/significant other/relative] does!" 2) "That's good those kids need it. I should've never started when I was in high school." Not everyone says one of these two things, but for the most part, strangers do.

Let's get my personal feeling about smoking out here in the open. I've dated people that smoked. I've lived in an apartment where the lady downstairs smoked so much that even my apartment and clothes smelled like smoke. Most of my Grandfather's medical issues can be traced back to his 40+ years of smoking. Have I ever smoked? I can think of two seperate occasions that I had a cigarette. If I was a smoker, one bitterly cold Nebraska Winter would stop that habit. Growing up, my friends didn't smoke so there wasn't any peer pressure to smoke. I personally don't care if a person smokes. Do I want them to smoke in my place or my car? No. Would I like them to stop for their own health? Of course. Am I going to beat them senseless with publishings from the American Lung Association? No. I don't think it isn't anything they haven't already heard.

But when it comes to younger generations... that is a different story. Would I pitch a fit if my little brother or sister were smoking? You bet! They may not have heard all the campaigns against smoking.

I'm getting off topic slightly.

I'm more interested in why people suddenly feel the need to profess their own innocence and throw their friends to the wolves. Has smoking become such a taboo across the country that when you bring up smoking a person automatically has to prove they don't smoke? I'm certainly not going to condemn a person for smoking. Yet, it seems that when I mention what I do, people get jumpy. Guilty conscience?

It is also interesting to see how a person justifies themselves as a non-smoker. "I only smoke on weekends." "I only bum one off my friends every so often." "I don't buy them, so I'm not really a smoker."

So then, you don't smoke... why mention someone else does? Is it like trying to pull attention away from yourself? I'm not the smoking police. I'm not going to haul your ass off to the pokey for a frisk to make sure you don't have a carton of Marlboros on you.

The people that admit that they smoke but wish that they didn't, to them I suddenly become the 'doctor' with the magic cure-all on how to quit. While I can give them ideas on how to quit. I'm not going to be able to give you the motivation to quit. Like in many ways motivation has to come from within yourself.

There is still the reason why I think people suddenly have to confess that they smoke and how much and for how long. Is it becuase they just don't talk about their habit which (on most levels) them know is bad for them? So for someone to talk about it openly seems like a good reason to flush out their system, so to say.

I smacks a little of emotional vomitting, which I've talked about before. You start out with a simple question or response, but it leads to a tidal wave of every little incident within the last 5 years which might be remotely related.

Damn... now I feel like I need a smoke. Thank God it's Friday.

I posted this @ 3/24/2006 08:01:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/22/2006

I WANNA RUN THROUGH THE HALLS OF MY HIGH SCHOOL. I WANNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

I'm sure you've been asked if you could go back to high school and do it all over again, would you. Typically, the reactions seem to firmly park at either end of the spectrum with resounding "Absolutely! I loved it" or striking "No"!

I was recently asked how long it's been since I graduated college. Which reminded me that in another year I'll have been out of high school for 15 years. I've been out of high school longer than I've been in high school. I think that is worth noting.

I ganked this idea from a fellow blogger. If you could talk to your high school self what would you say?

1- Relax! It won't be as scary as you think.

2- Date more. It'll lead to you figuring some things out a LOT sooner.

3- Try out for more things. Choir. Plays. Sports. You can do it. You just haven't been told you can very often.

4- Good job choosing the friends you did. You'll hear from yours a lot more often than they will.

5- When you're thinking about colleges, if you want to go to UNL, do it! Student loans aren't the end of the world.

6- When you decide to go to PSC, live in the dorms. At least for a while. It'll help you with that shell you need to come out of more.

7- Don't go to your Prom dates Grandmother's house... She's nice, but c'mon. It's Prom Night. Just swing by for photos, don't stay and chat.

8- Learn to drive sooner. It'll help with some of the more social requests.

9- Enjoy your senior year. There will never be another time like it again.

10- Don't fret your 10 year reunion. You'll have a blast!

I posted this @ 3/22/2006 09:25:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/21/2006

I NEVER GOT TO BE YOUR FRED ASTAIRE

A Resident just walked by my office door in what I can only describe as mid-tap dance. I love the whole "Dance like nobody's watching" mood. Unfortunatley for him... I was watching.

I posted this @ 3/21/2006 10:24:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/20/2006

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

For the first day of Spring there seems to be a lot of snow of the ground. Of course... this might be because the metro area was (at it's highest) predicted to get 20 inches of snow. I woke to find at least 6 inches on my Jeep. And it's coming down again!

I posted this @ 3/20/2006 11:17:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/17/2006

YOU BETTER WORK

There's nothing better to inflate or deflate your ego than a job interview.

Job interview, you say? Why am I going on a job interview?

Don't worry. I still have my job. I like my job! But my job has a finite end. So when I come across something that interests me, I apply.

I went on a job interview and I must say there is nothing like doning a proper suit and tie to make me feel like a million dollars. I hate feeling like a million dollars. I immediately tense up and walk stiff as a board when I have a suit and tie on. The best part of the interview is two minutes after I leave the building and rip off the tie and de-suit my jacket. I'd probably drive home without the dress pants too if I wasn't pretty sure it was frowned upon.

The interview well went as far as I can tell. Though, I'm pretty sure I won't be getting a call back. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It was a State Department job, but I'd forgotten what it was really about. I'd accidently thrown away the listing I'd printed off. Since the position had closed I couldn't find it online either. I'd found a smiliar listing for another city, but unsure if that was actually it or not. Well, it turned out the job was for a Medicad Waiver coodrinator. Basically, from the way it sounded I'd be assisting youth with disabilities or physical handicap issue in getting the proper set-up and services in their homes. Not a bad job at all, but certianly not something I have any experience in doing.

Arriving at the interview I noticed that the employees seemed very casually dressed, even for Casuaul Friday. I'm pretty sure a wife-beater and jean shorts is too casual. I could've shown up in a Hawaiian shirt and grass skirt and really impressed them.

The lady conducting the interview was VERY nice, but... in her mid-hundreds. I'm pretty sure she was around when the state was founded. Tactfully asking her what the job would actually entail she read me the website listing word for word as though she was reading her grandchildren a bedtime story. Once again. VERY nice woman... She explained that there was currently a hiring freeze and that they wouldn't even consider any applicants for at least 3-4 weeks. She reported that they'd recently closed down a branch office in another city and those people was given the chance to relocate or find jobs within the company. Ok... so then why interview me now?

A second lady joined us for the actual Q&A part of the interview. As one would ask me a question the other would jot down notes about my response. Not uncommon for any interview that I've had. The questions, on the other hand... Well, they could repeat the question as many times as I needed, but they couldn't explain them to me. Huh?

Let me say again. They could repeat the questions as many times as I needed, but they couldn't explain them to me. So if I had a question or needed clarification, I was out of luck. Is this common? Have I been lucky to have never had this happen in an interview before? Or was this just a little odd...

Well, there were definitely some questions that I didn't understand, and thinking about them later, I know that they were intended for someone who had some knowledge of the inner workings of the department. I BS'ed as much as I could. Most of the time I would laugh to myself about how empty the answers where that I was giving. I think I've come pretty close to perfecting the "non-answer" in times like that.

My favorite example is from my last job, when callers would be paranoid about being recorded or their calls being traced.

CALLER: "Are these calls recorded?"
ME: "We are a confidential hotline."

Which was the truth as long as they weren't going to hurt themselves or someone else. Certainly not the answer to the question they asked, but usually enough to satisfy their paranoia.

I'd love to see the notes these women took about my interview. "Does not have a clue!" "Did he just say 'embiggens'?"

The second part of the interview was a written task where I was given a situation and had to write out a basic outline plan of how to help a family with a specific issue. As the Centagenarian fired up her computer I noticed the version of software that was running. Office '97!? What were these people? Amish?! How last century... I think the geek in me took control and actually scoffed a little when I saw that. I printed out my written response and could actually here the dot matrix printer down the hall grinding away.

So... yeah... I don't think I'm getting the job. But it was good practice just the same.

I posted this @ 3/17/2006 01:23:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

I posted this @ 3/17/2006 01:21:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/16/2006

I FELL IN TO A BURNING RING OF FIRE

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

So what are up to now? Four movies and 80 books later Harry Potter still hasnt' figured out a spell to comb his hair. Seriously! Can we get this boy into hair and make-up to do something about that bitch-mess going on? That's how he is supposed to look? Yikes.

Read on...

I posted this @ 3/16/2006 09:09:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/14/2006

101 in 1001 - #21

Instead of listing my 100 Favorite Songs, I modified the idea to make various playlists of mood music. Obviously these are my favorite songs, but then on top of it you have a good playlist for your differing moods. They are in no particular order, and certainly don't represent the totality of my musical taste.

MELONCHOLY
1- Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
2- The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
3- Volcano - Damien Rice
4- Fred Jones Pt. 2 - Ben Folds
5- Home - Sheryl Crowe
6- I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
7- Break Your Heart - Natalie Merchant
8- Life Is Sweet - Natalie Merchant
9- You're Beautiful - James Blunt
10- I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage

BREAK-UP
1- You Oughta Know - Alanis Morisette
2- Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
3- Something More - Train
4- Criminal - Fiona Apple
5- I Will Survive - Cake
6- Don't Go Away - Oasis
7- You're My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crowe
8- Picture - Kid Rock & Sheryl Crowe

SHAKE YOUR BOOTY
1- Shake Your Booty - KC & The Sunshine Band
2- Hung Up - Madonna
3- Priase You - Fatboy Slim
4- YMCA - Village People
5- Galvanize - Chemical Brothers
6- Just Can't Get You Outta My Head - Kylie Minogue
7- DARE - Gorillaz
8- Supersonic - Jamiroquai
9- Get Down - Timo Maas

NEW LOVE
1- The Promise - Tracy Chapman
2- The Luckiest - Ben Folds
3- You Are My Joy - The Reindeer Section
4- Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney
5- Wild Horses - The Sundays
6- Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
7- At Your Most Beautiful - R.E.M.
8- Get To Me - Train
9- These Are Days - 10,000 Maniacs

ROCK 'N' ROLL ALL NIGHT
1- Dyer M'ker - Led Zepplin
2- ACDC - Thunderstruck
3- Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
4- Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters
5- Plush - Stone Temple Pilots
6- Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots
7- Paradise By The Dashboard Lights - Meatloaf
8- Just Wastin' Time - Kid Rock
9- Are You There - Oleander
10- Love In An Elevator - Aerosmith

GOOD OL' BOYS
1- I Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie & the Blowfish
2- Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy
3- Something's Always Wrong - Toad The Wet Sprocket
4- Home - Marc Broussard
5- Drops Of Jupiter - Train
6- Mr Jones - Counting Crows
7- Life Is A Highway - Tom Cochrane
8- Steve McQueen - Sheryl Crowe
9- Hold My Hand - Hootie & The Blowfish
10- Old Man and Me - Hootie & The Blowfish

GUILTY PLEASURE
1- Jive Talkin' - Bee Gees
2- Everybody - Backstreet Boys
3- Mama Mia - ABBA
4- It's Not Unusual - Tom Jones
5- Macho Man - Village People
6- Kung Fu Fighting

CRAZY FUN GROOVE
1- Catch My Disease - Ben Lee
2- Blister In The Sun - Violent Femmes
3- Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
4- Black Capricorn Day - Jamiroquai
5- Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz
6- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
7- It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M.
8- Candy Everybody Wants - Natalie Merchant
9- Underground - Ben Folds Five
10- Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants

SING ALONG
1- Mrs Robinson - Simon & Garfunkle
2- Smooth - Santana w/ Rob Thomas
3- Frank Sinatra - Come Fly With Me
4- It's In His Kiss - Cher
5- Rainbow Connection - Sarah McLachlan
6- Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
7- Tainted Love - Soft Cell
8- Long Time Gone - Dixie Chicks
9- Love Shack - B 52s
10- Monday Monday - Mama's and the Papa's

EVERYTHING ELSE
1- Debbie - B 52s
2- Roam - B 52s
3- The Campfire Song - 10,000 Maniacs
4- Not The Same - Ben Folds
5- Make Your Own Kind Of Music - Mama Cass Elliot
6- Live Forever - Oasis
7- She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips
8- Common People - William Shatner
9- It's Ain't Over Till It's Over - Lenny Kravitz
10- You're An Original - Sheryl Crowe
11- True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
12- Stuck In A Moment - U2
13- Vasoline - Stone Temple Pilots
14- The Boy With The Arab Strap - Belle & Sebastian
15- Goonies 'R' Good Enough - Cyndi Lauper
16- Chocolate - Snow Patrol
17- Army - Ben Folds
18- Let Love Rule - Lenny Kravitz

I posted this @ 3/14/2006 12:01:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

CONSTANT CRAVING

THE CONSTANT GARDENER

Mike summed up this movie rather well, he "fell asleep during a commercial" for it. While I was somehow able to stay awake, it didn't do much good. I think I could've watched this with Cliff Notes or director's commentary and still be lost.

Read on...

I posted this @ 3/14/2006 11:17:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/13/2006

IT'S NEVER QUITE AS IT SEEMS. 'CAUSE YOUR A DREAM TO ME.

When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? When you were in high school what would have been your "dream job"? After graduation did you pursue your dream?

When I was a junior in high school I wanted to be a lawyer. Once I realized that I couldn't argue my way out of a speeding ticket I knew I couldn't be a lawyer. I decided that psychology would be my path. I wanted to use my experiences growing up to help kids. I wanted to make a difference. At the end of the day I wanted to feel like I'd actually done something.

At the same time, I enjoyed creative writing. I enjoyed art. I wasn't sure that I was good enough at either one of them to really make a living. As I grew older, this blog became my outlet for my creative writing energy. I love photography. Thus, photography became an outlet for my artistic energy.

I don't think I could ever really make a living off doing either of those things full-time, but they have become entertaining hobbies.

After a recent job interview really started me thinking about all this. Why do we let go of our dreams? What changes along the way that we decide that some things are worth doing and some things aren't?

Money. Relationships. Family. Children. These are all possible factors that could have a positive or negative effect on our choices we make. For example, I knew I would never be good enough to write enough to make a living off of. Even though I might be perfectly happy taking photos could it ever been done to significant degree to actual survive. What if I had a child? How much time would I be able to devote to such fancies?

I understand that priorities change. The reasons we change our priorities doesn't mean that the things we've changed them for is a bad thing. Certainly not! I wonder if that is what is meant my settling down. Hopefully the dreams that we quit pursuing are because we've found a better dream to take it's place.

I look at my career and think about what choices I've made. I wonder if different choices would have led to a different place in my life. Would I be happier? Would I be more miserable? Am I thinking about changing careers? No. Not anytime soon.

Yet at the same time I wonder what happened to my dreams. Is it immature to want to hold on to my dreams?

I posted this @ 3/13/2006 05:03:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/10/2006

ALL THESE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE

I ate spicy food last night so of course I had a vivid dream.

[cue wispy fog machine and harp music]

I was on a trip. Not really business, but not really pleasure either. I didn't really feel like it was a vacation. My traveling companions were people that I only know from reading their blogs. It's not as though I actually know these people, but after reading someone's blog for a while you do develop an image of what they must be like in your head. That image is the way they were in my dream. Very fun. Very outgoing. Always laughing, because like me, everything goes through a joke filter and the funny is extracted for use in some later situation.

We gathered at (presumably) my house watching TV. There were quite a few people present by this point. People that I actually know and some that, like I said, I only know from what I read about their lives. Some where playing cards, cackling with laughter. Some were crowded around the television playing Karaoke Revolution. Have you heard about it? You sing along to current or recent hits and win according to how well you match up with the song. It's like your own private American Idol.

We boarded an airplane. Destination unknown. I recall being nervous. I'm not afraid to fly, but it's one of those things that the more I think about what I am actually doing, the more nervous I get about it. Because, seriously... Hurtling through the air at a few hundred miles an hour with nothing but aerodynamics holding you up. Any really strong gust of wind moves you around.

Anyway...

So while I was nervous on the flight, I felt there was something else to be nervous about. I'm not exactly sure what. I'm not sure if it was where we going, or maybe the reason we were going to begin with. I just recall feeling apprehensive about what was going down (airplane pun not intended).

[end dream sequence]

I like to look at what is going on in my actual life and see how it might relate to what I was dreaming about. Sometimes this is more difficult than others because I might be too close to the situation to really see what is going on. The whole forest-for-the-trees idea.

I'm searching for a new job which is a story all by itself.

I've been kind of down lately. I would definitely consider myself a dreamer. Too much so, sometimes. I don't think it is a bad thing or something I should change. Just something I should be aware of doing.

I'm missing my friends. I feel that this is something I've been negligent about for a while now. In some situations it is solely my fault. In others it is just a matter of circumstances beyond anyone's control.

When I was younger I didn't really see myself having kids at any certain time in my life. Though, I did see it happening at some point. The thing that stuck with me the most was being able to share the experience with others. Being able to not only feel like a proud father at my son or daughter's firsts and development. But also being able to share that feeling with other fathers. My friends who were also parents...

I've been fortunate enough to have some amazing friends in my life that I stay in contact with. Some I talk to almost daily. Others... less so. But even then there are those times that no matter how long it's been we still connect on that level of friendship that has always been there.

So while I see them grow up, as I do as well, obviously, I see the changes that happen in their lives. Yet when asked about the changes in mine I feel I don't have much to say. So while they cruise along in drive, I feel like I'm sitting there in neutral, trying to find the right gear.

I know that comparing my life to anyone else's is apples and oranges. Yet, there is a certain amount of comparison that I think everyone does. Not in order to see if we are 'keeping up' with anyone else, or to see what we 'should' be doing. More like to gauge how we are doing with what we've chosen to do.

Perhaps I should lay off the spicy cheese for a while.

I posted this @ 3/10/2006 08:34:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/08/2006

SICK OF MYSELF

I know I've used that same title almost everytime I'm sick. But I'm sick. I'm not exactly running on a full head of steam to come up with another song title or clever line of a song that features the word sick.

So yeah... I'm sick.

Do you know that feeling you get that is your body's way of letting you know that you are getting sick? I'm sure it is probably different for everyone. For me it is a tickle in the back of my throat that starts to creep forward towards my mouth. Then when it finally hits I feel it all over inside my head.

Sometimes I've been seemingly perfectly well, and sneezed so hard that it just jump-started the whole creeping sickness process.

This morning I was coughing so hard in the shower that I made myself dizzy. It sucks because I wasn't operating on a full head of steam in order to be able to enjoy it. My Grandfather recently 'broke' his back from coughing so hard. So everytime I cough I am sure I'm going to double over and break a rib. I know I won't, but you know... I'm a hypochondriac like that.

So my evening will be spent huddled under several blankets trying to sweat out whatever it lodged in my head, watching the season finale of Project Runway. Oh joy!

I posted this @ 3/08/2006 11:14:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/07/2006

LOVE'S BEEN A LITTLE BIT HARD ON ME

I watched The 40-Year Old Virgin over the weekend. I'd heard a lot of good, funny things leading up to this movie. So I was psyched to see it. I'm a fan of Steve Carrell on The Office. I like Paul Rudd (Call me! *wink*). So why didn't I like this movie more?

Read on...

I posted this @ 3/07/2006 10:07:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

3/06/2006

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

I'm sure there are only a few people blogging about the Oscars so I couldn't wait to put in my two cents worth. Plus... I rant about Brokeback Mountain a little bit.

I was pleased to hear that Jon Stewart would be hosting. I don't regularly watch the Daily Show, but when I do, I enjoy his style of humor. That being said... I think he did a good job at hosting a tough gig. Oscar hosts seem to be on trail for being just as funny at hosting as they are at their regular gig. I don't think that is a fair assessment. Jon Stewart is funny in his own way because of the subjects he tackles. The Oscars are a far cry from your typical news and politics-type show. He seemed like he was trying his best to get the blood pumping in an otherwise sleepy show.

Seriously... did they hand out Ambien as part of the Oscar gift bags? And did everyone take it right before they sat down? Where are the Roberto Bernigni's standing on chairs? Where are the Halle Berry crying jags? Where are the Adrian Brody kiss-fests? The closest we got was Reese Witherspoon's touching acceptance speech to her family.

Ok. Yeah. So Reese won, and good for her. I know there was talk about Walk The Line being like the 'white Ray'. Which, while I can see the comparison, is a little superficial. Though, it does make me wonder why Walk The Line wasn't nominated for Best Picture.

I'm not sure how the window of eligibility works, but haven't Crash and Cinderella Man both been out forever? I didn't hear much about Crash when it comes out in the theaters. Or at least I don't recall much about it. Other than Scott's raving review.

Best Actor had a strong group this year. I thought Heath Ledger gave an amazing performance. I think Joaquin Phoenix sounded a lot like Cash, but I have a hard time picturing him as Johnny Cash. I think the acting ability of Philip Seymour Hoffman is excellent. I can see why he won. Though, there is the part of me that just cringes at the voice he uses in Capote's for that length of time. They said he tried to stay in character even when not filming. I'd think that'd be wise or else I know I'd having fits laughing at every time he switched it on and off.

Supporting Actress went to Rachel Weisz. I've got The Constant Garden sitting on my TV right now, waiting to be watched. I've heard it is a complex suspenseful movie. I guess I'm just trying to psyche myself up and prepare for it. What I do know is that when I saw Brokeback I felt Michelle's Williams pain and anger as she discovers what her husband has been up to with his 'camping buddy'. I think she did an excellent job. I was rooting for her, but with obvious bias towards the movie itself.

Support Actor went to George Clooney in Syriana. I've not seen the movie. Like I said before... When were Crash and Cinderella Man technically released? It seems like they've been out forever. I'm pretty sure I was at my old job when it was originally released. It's been that long.

Best Director went to Ang Lee. I'm sure it's been said many times in better ways than how I can say it, but... Seriously? How easy can it be to tackle the subject of a long-standing love story of gay cowboys and not make it seem like a really cheesey porn? So good for him.

Best Picture went to Crash. I've got this in my movie queue. I'm looking forward to it. It should be pretty heavy. I just hope I'm in the mood for heavy when I see it.

There has been a lot of press about how Crash upset Brokeback Mountain. There has been a lot of press in general about Brokeback because... it's a movie about two men in love. I'm so torn overall the talk about it. On one hand I think it would be kinda cool to see a mainstream movie whose lead actors portray gay characters win the ultimate movie award. Then again, on the other hand we have the details of the movie itself. Both characters are married, but unhappy. So rooting for their love is rooting for the break-up of what technically is a marriage. Jake Gyllenhaal turned it down at first because it was a gay cowboy movie. Has he ever said what changed his mind? Perhaps. I honestly haven't heard. I think both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal have spoken out about the roles they played, but overall I'm not sure anything that either of them has said could really be quoted as being terribly supportive of any gay community. They talk about the deeper meanings of the roles. Ok... And? The 'roles' were great. I get the impressions from interviews that Jake and Heath have given that they have repressed a lot of what happened during filming. Any personal feelings on how there are men and women who go through those type of struggles every day?

Now don't get me wrong. I still loved the movie. I will end up buying it when it comes out on DVD. I'm just not as convinced that the actors who played the conflicted lovers were as in to psyched about it as some hope they were.

Plus, did Hollywood forget about the other gay-ish films that were also up for Oscars? Transamerica... Capote... With both of them it was about the actors playing the roles, Felicity Huffman and Philip Seymour Hoffman respectively. With Brokeback it was the roles being played by the actors. There was so much hype about Brokeback winning that now that they haven't it seems like the entertainment media is scrambling to write about why they were so wrong going into all this.

Ah... I love entertainment!

I posted this @ 3/06/2006 03:56:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/03/2006

1... 2... 3... 4...

I know people either love or hate these things, but I thought it was kinda fun and I'm in the mood for a little fun. So here we go kids! Enjoy!

A)Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Clinical Researcher
2. Crisis Counselor
3. Assistant Family Teacher
4. McDonald's lackey...

B)Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. The Goonies
2. Tomorrow Never Dies
3. Shawshank Redemption
4. Lord Of The Rings

C)Four places you have lived:
1. Omaha Apt #1
2. Omaha Apt #2
3. Omaha Apt #3
4. Nebraska City

D)Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The Office
3. Lost
4. Survivor

E)Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Europe
2. St. Louis
3. Disney World
4. Wyoming

F)Four websites I visit daily:
1. My Blog
2. Flickr
3. Television Without Pity
4. Yahoo

G)Four of my favorite foods:
1. Italian
2. Mexican
3. Greek
4. Chinese

H)Four places I would rather be right now:
1. I'd rather be my own bed. I would be comfy and warm with plenty of pillow for people to sleep on.
2. I'd rather be a really hip coffee shop, with good music, great brews, and broadband internet connection
3. I'd rather be Seattle. Which in a way could take the place of my second choice.
4. I'd rather be London. I think I would be trendy, hip, and yet somewhat pretentious with my fake accent.

(Perhaps I misunderstood the question...)

I) Four friends that I think will respond.....
1. Angie (because she can't NOT respond because I've called her out on it now.)
2. Scott (but he might just post in on his blog)
3. Jay (because if he doesn't then I'll hunt him down!)
4. I dunno who else will. I'd be pleased to hear from anyone who did.

See... I resort ot violence and threats to get my way. ;-)

I posted this @ 3/03/2006 01:37:00 PM.............Need a link?..........

3/02/2006

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO

So let's just say that the diet isn't going so well. I've not gained any weight, but I've not lost any either. I was doing fine for the first week. I had two whole weeks worth of healthy meals planned out. I was jogging three times a week. Then I got sick. The weather has been up and down crazy temperatures lately. When I was ill I didn't really feel like hauling my ass to the gym to workout. And I ended up breaking my barely formed habit. Even now when I go to the grocery store, I'm, at least, aware of what I'm buying. I'll g fo the healthier choice when given an option or low-cal or light or fat free. Although some thing I refuse to skimp on. For example... Meatless bacon? I've heard of fake-out products before, but never one that was quite as entertaining named.

There used to be a vegan restaurant in downtown Omaha called Daisy Maze that served very healthy vegetarian cuisine. It was routine for my group of friends to get together on Thursdays during the summer and go out to eat and take over a coffee shop with our loud and crazy card or mah jongg games. On one such even we decided the place to eat was Daisy Maze. Now... the two main dissenters of this idea were myself and my best friend Mike. We both were sure that whatever fake out food they'd serve would not satisfy our desire for real meat. I don't care how you spice up tofu, it is still tofu.

We found something that was the closest to a hamburger that they offered. It had "nayonaise" on it, which was intriguing and frightening all at the same time. There was some fake form of cheese as well. This was some serious shit. The overall meal could be classified as an adventure in eating that I probably wouldn't do again... on purpose. Yet it opened my eyes to a couple of issues.

Meat tastes good. Steak tastes good. Pigs are magical animals that give us such bounties as pepperoni, sausage, pork chops, and BACON!!

Have you told your favorite meat-prodcut today how much you love them?

I posted this @ 3/02/2006 07:12:00 AM.............Need a link?..........