The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind


I needed a break from working on data entry. A few light-hearted quizzes should do the trick.

I suppose there is no big shock to any of this.

Your Extroversion Profile:
Friendliness: High
Sociability: High
Activity Level: Medium
Cheerfulness: Medium
Assertiveness: Low
Excitement Seeking: Very Low

Oddly enough I've dueled... so the likelihood of that happening are higher for me than most people.

Your Deadly Sins
Envy: 40%
Gluttony: 40%
Lust: 40%
Greed: 20%
Pride: 20%
Sloth: 20%
Wrath: 20%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 29%
You will die in a duel.

It figures I'd be half of Sesame Street's Ambiguosly Gay Duo.

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!
I posted this @ 5/31/2006 01:02:00 PM.............Need a link?..........


Anyone who knows me knows that I am freaked out by eyes. But have I ever told you why?


My Grandmother worked for an optometrist. Eye exams were an annual part of my childhood routine. They never bothered me until it was time for the glaucoma test. At the time, the preferred method of this test was the quick puff of air to the eyeball. They doctor (usually assistant) would instruct you to keep your eyes open as wide as you could. This was difficult enough. Add on top of it the knowledge that a quick puff of air was going to be shot into your eye. My eyes would water at the thought of it. I would commence blinking and resisting the urge to rub my eyes. It was an instinctual reaction. I couldn't control it. The doctor (usually assistant) would eventually realize that I was tearing up and would hand me a kleenex to blot my eyes. This would take time and in the end a minute-long procedure could take ten to fifteen minutes.

In junior high school I wasn't one of the popular kids. I know! I'll give you a moment to re-attached your dropped jaw. The trick at the time was to flip up your eye lids exposing the viening under-belly of the THIN FLAP OF SKIN THAT HOLDS IN YOUR EYEBALL! Just the thought of it is disgusting. So, several idiots would frequently chase me around with their eyelids flipped up. *shudders*

As part of a health class, the stablization of foreign objects was studied. One such foreign object was a pencil lodged in an eyeball. And they show it! Can you imagine the person that had this happen to them and someone suggests taking a photo for posterity and the sake of learning...

One summer my Grandmother suffered heat exhaustion and her eyes were googling pointing in different directions. It freaked me out.

This photo actually haunted me for a while. After high school I trained as a volunteered on the local rescue squad. The same pencil/eyeball photo was found there again. That was my weird fear on any call. I'll deal with the blood. Just let their eye be intact.

That scene in Indian Jones: Raiders Of The Lost Ark where the Nazi's melt and their waxy eyes schloop out of their head. Yeah... not good.

There's a scene in Event Horizon that involves eyes. I've only seen the movie once and honestly... I don't feel like researching who it happened to or even the actors name. But one of the main actors eyes are these blackened burnt out voids in his head. Gah!

Oh! Hey let's revisit the optometrist and the eyeball pressure exam. But now.. let's upgrade it. Let's make it a machine that actually TOUCHES YOUR EYEBALL!! I've written about it before, but the short version is I ended up having a mild anxiety attack.

As part of my psychology education one thing I recall is that people who are paranoid have a preoccupation with eyes. Not in the same way I do. I'm freaked out by things done to the eyes. Paranoid people, when given the instruction to draw something might draw a picture involving eyes. Peeking. Peering. Watching. Etc...

Even now... I can't watch people put in their contact lens. I can barely put in drops. It's all about the eyes.

Now the positive flipside to this is that I notice people's eyes. It's one of the first things that draws me to a person. So... I'm going to just end this post now before I sound even crazier.
I posted this @ 5/31/2006 12:19:00 PM.............Need a link?..........


Thing That Make You Go... The other day while dining at Chili's I noticed their promotional display for their new line of Mexican Fiesta dishes.

Now... consider the reputation that some Mexican cuisine can have on the gastro-intestinal system is their slogan really the most appetizing? Maybe they were just going from appropriate.
I posted this @ 5/31/2006 09:49:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



I think it is fairly obvious to anyone who knows me that I love music. When asked to list 5 hobbies or Things I Like, "music" will be three of them. So it's pretty safe to say that music is something I enjoy.

When I was younger and would consider purchasing a full length album (at the time the format of choice was cassette), it had to have a certain number of songs that I liked before I considered it worthy of spending actual money on it. Cassette singles were wonderful because it afforded me the option to purchase just one song from what might be a bad album. It explains how I ended up with Mary Moon by Dead Eye Dick as a single.

Finding someone to record a song for me wasn't uncommon. It did involve a certain amount of leg work to procur a blank cassette, a double tape deck capable of dubbing, and someone who owned the song. Considering my tastes in music, finding the person was typically the most difficult part.

With the arrival of CDs it actually become even more difficult. Singles on compact disc were uncommon at the places I shopped. You could still occasionally find the same song on cassette single, but it was growing rarer as time passed.

My standards for buying a CD were the same as buying a cassette. If there wasn't a certain number of songs that I liked, I woudn't buy it. This rule was drilled into me even more when I purchased a Jon Secada CD for one song and hated the rest of the album. It was the first CD I bought, and I keep it only as a reminder of past mistakes, never to be made again.

Thus came the age of Napster, which had it's pros and cons. I'll glaze over this period in my musical history for not only the sake of brevity, but possible self-incrimination.

Now we have iTunes which is both good an bad. iTunes allows me to purchase just those songs off an album that I enjoy. Yet at the same time it is like leaving me in the middle of a candy store and I don't know where to begin. One thing that I always had to go on in the past was the radio or music videos. I could easily tell what song on an album was probably going to be good based on airplay that it recieved. I'd get an album based on the songs I liked and then discover deeper cuts on an album that were great songs, but probably didn't get an play time.

If someone tells me that I'll like a certain album or a band and I've got the whole album to pick from... that's when my ADHD kicks in. Especially if it's a band that I've never heard of before, I may skip a song with a great chorus or hook because I couldn't get plast a slow intro before the song started to rock out.

Chocolate by Snow Patrol was one of those songs. I didn't like the intro for some reason. I knew I liked the song, but when I burned it to a CD I couldn't get past the intro. I'd hear just a second of it and press FFWD. It took a while before I gave it a chance. Now I love the whole song. Intro and all.

CDNOW doesn't help. Neither does iTunes preview function. The chances of them playig the part of a song that I'm going to like is possible, but not always probable. I wish there was some trial run where I could just hang out with the song for a while before I decide if I want to keep it or not.

In a way I'm almost back to where I started in terms of msucial procurment. If I like enough songs on an album I'll get it. Otherwise it may be lost to obscurity forever. Or at least until my musical sherpa points it out to me.
I posted this @ 5/25/2006 06:48:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



You scored as Jean Grey. Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havok. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic

Jean Grey












Emma Frost










Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with
I posted this @ 5/24/2006 09:07:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



I took my grandfather to his auidology appointment at the VA Hospital. This involved driving to NCity to pick him up. Drive back to Omaha, then take him home again. Which was perfectly okay because I like driving. Plus, I got to show off my new Jeep to my Grandparents. They were relieved more than anything. They'd wanted me to get a new vehicle while the old one still had something worth trading for. I asked if they were surprised, to which my Grandmother responded that she wasn't. She said that somehow she knew I had a new vehicle. I am trying to replay conversations we've had to figure out if I would've slipped up and spoiled the surprise.

The day actually went by faster than I thought it would. I was prepared with Gameboy in hand for what could be a two hour appointment as they ran the needed tests and fitted him for a new hearing aide.

Park Your Ho!I let my Grandparents out at the front door and went to find a parking spot. This is where I came across this sign. I'm sure it stands for something a little less humorous, but how could I pass it up. If it does mean something other than the obvious, allow me my humor and ignorance.

(Not to be confused with this sign.)

In the waiting room, we joined the other veterans and their spouses.

Now... How can I put this nicely? Sitting in a small room with 5 other elderly men, none of whom can hearly decently... I almost went deaf, myself. The TV was loud. I could've told you what was on CNN from down the hall. I didn't have to be sitting in the same room with the set.

The gist of every conversation went like this:

VET #1: Where're you from?
VET #2: [blank stare, sometimes followed by a cupping of the ear]
VET #1: Where're you from!!?
VET #2: Sorry. One more time...
VET #2: Oh... Nebraska City (or whatever town).

At one point all the men there for the hearing test had left the room and I turned down the TV. One of the wives thanked me, "I make my husband watch TV in another room." To which my Grandmother responded, "I make him watch it downstairs. I've got my own TV upstairs."

I don't know if this is typical of my Grandparents generation or not. My Grandmother is not an impolite person, but she's not the type to strike up a conversation with just anyone she is sitting next to in line. If I would've walked in on them during some conversation, I could very easily have mistaken that they knew each other prior to this appointment. Everyone was very friendly and sincerely pleasant. It didn't seem like forced or obligatory conversation.

Personally, I wouldn't just chat up anyone that I was sitting by. I tend to keep to myself at appointments or on planes. Not being anti-social. I just act like I'm minding my own business, so as not to draw attention to the fact I'm checking everyone out and making up backstories as to why they are there. Purely creative. Nothing malicious.

The testing only took about 30 minutes, which was plenty fine with me. The waiting room seats were not comfortable at all. There were no arms to the hard plastic chairs. Such seating arrangements make me fidgety.

The doctor explained that he couldn't get fitted for hearing aides yet because he had too much wax in his ears. Damn! "How much wax do you have, Bud?" We call my Grandfather "Bud". I'm sure my face was alarmed and confused at the idea of so much wax that they couldn't do what they needed to do. Now why they didn't tell us this before we came was beyond me. I would think it was a common problem, or at least one they would be familiar with and be able to handle. On the way home I told my Grandmother it probably isn't his hearing at all, it's the build up of 80 years worth of ear wax.

So it'll be another round of trips when the time comes. Which is fine. And I'll have to remember I can't park my ho there.
I posted this @ 5/23/2006 07:39:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



I know I've talked about my issues with my hair a couple of times already. I finally got my hair cut and it's the shortest it's ever been. I'd show you a photo, but I don't have one available.

The Bald Guy
What I do have available is this photo of this lovely product. This really isn't an accurate representation of how short my hair is. Even though I did want to at some point... I don't think I would shave it bald. Not at this juncture in time. ;-)

These products crack my shit up. Bald Guyz. The Z means it's hip and cool. They are down with today's youthful obsession of replacing letters with other letters. It's made by the Swiss, or so the package would lead me to believe.

Now my issue with this product is, without a doubt, the need for it. On the left we have Head Wipes, which both cleanse and freshen your head. Wouldn't a paper towel do the same job really? Maybe one of those lotion-y kleenex? I guess I'm seeing this as being almost TOO specific of a product.

The guy on the left seems ok with his bald head the way it is. The guy on the right has this aire about him. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's almost as if he actually has a full head of hair and they digitally erased it. Either that, or he's thinking, "I'm bald, bee-yotch AND my bowel movements smell like bakery fresh cinnamon rolls."

Actually, the Moisture Gel I can understand. I can see how a persons scalp might be dry. But once again... I think it is almost TOO specific. Wouldn't lotion work? If you are shaving your head regularly, like the same aftershave you use on your face could be used.

Either way. Do you think you could come up with a better name? Seriously... What lazy-ass marketing guy pitched Bald Guyz. You're barely trying. If you're going to put a Z in the name, give the guy a tattoo on his head. A piercing somewhere. Make him hot and mean looking like the Teutuls from. American Chopper.

These two ham & mayo eaters on the box would probably correct your spelling 'mistake' and ask you what type of earnings you've had last quarter. They don't use Z's in place of S's. Z'z.

But I digrezz...
I posted this @ 5/22/2006 10:04:00 AM.............Need a link?..........


A B C... EASY AS 1 2 3

A to Z Meme

Accent: I would say that I don't have an accent, but I've been told that I have a Midwest accent. Whatever that means. I love accents. I can slip in and out of an accent for fun. It doesn't take me long to pick up an accent.
Booze: Margaritas, Hornsby's, beer. I'm a cheap drunk.
Chore I Hate: Dusting!
Dogs/Cats: Prefer Dogs.
Essential Electronics: Digital camera, Computer, iPod (someday, I swear.)
Favorite Perfume/Cologne: Acqua Di Gio
Gold/Silver: I like the shiny silver.
Hometown: Where I grew up? Nebraska City, NE Where is my home now? Omaha, NE
Insomnia: Sometimes. Maybe once or twice a year.
Job Title: Yes, but it sounds a lot more high-falootin than it actually is.
Kids: I never say no.
Living Arrangements: Apartment livin' is the life for me.
Most Admired Trait: I would think my listening skills or being a good friend. That is probably best left to answer by those who know me.
Number of Sexual Partners: I'm not one to kiss and tell. I could count them on one hand.
Overnight Hospital Stays: None. Knock on wood!
Phobia: Automotonaphobia
Quote: Life is too serious to take too seriously
Religion: Spiritual, but not religious.
Siblings: 1 half-brother, 1 step-sister. But I call them my brother and sister.
Time I usually wake up: Too damn early! I'm not really a morning person.
Unusual Talent: I'm double jointed.
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Green beans!
Worst Habit: Procrastination.
X-Rays: Yes. For minor things. Possible arthiritis in my hand and as a kid for what I think was pnuemonia.
Yummy Foods I Make: I cook quite a bit. I make a really good Pasta Piselli, Fiery Shrimp, BBQ Chicken Bacon Jack burgers.
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
I posted this @ 5/19/2006 12:33:00 PM.............Need a link?..........


SNOW PATROL - "Chasing Cars"

Have you ever heard a song that broke you? Emotionally. Physically. Mental. Any or all. Gary Lightbody, Snow Patrol's singer and chief songwriter might as well be asking me to give him a kidney and perform the surgery myself.

Read on...
I posted this @ 5/19/2006 10:35:00 AM.............Need a link?..........


So I've been doing the calorie counting thing for a short while now. I've come across something that probably makes sense to someone who is a nutritionist (or maybe just smart). When I figured out how many calories I was taking in to maintain my body weight I had figured out about 500-750 more calories than what I have been keeping track of. I'm eating less than I think I am. Which is a little disturbing really. But it also sheds some light on things. How much I eat versus what I eat versus what's in what I eat.

I wasn't necessarily thinking that I was just sitting around eating all the time. I've always known that I don't eat a lot at one time, but I eat all the time. What I'm discovering is that I don't eat as much as I thought. So 1) I'm not eating healthy foods (Duh) 2) The few pounds I am trying to lose aren't going to come off with just watching food intake alone. (Duh)

What this is saying to me is that... Keep eating the way I have been eating, but move my damn ass more. I'll let you know how it goes.
I posted this @ 5/19/2006 09:55:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



It's like one of those Magic Eye picture. I'll admit this may make you look stupid to anyone who is watching you do this. Just make them do it, then laugh at them.

Put your face about 6 to 12 inches away from the screen and cross your eyes. Stare 'through' the text. Move your head closer or away to make the image visible. I'll put the image in the comments, so as not to spoil it for anyone.

You can make your own stereogram here!
I posted this @ 5/18/2006 01:04:00 PM.............Need a link?..........



If you will, indulge with me for a moment while I talk about my new Jeep... or Yeep as I seem to be calling it for some reason.

I really like my new Yeep! It's like a pet. A pet that I have to feed every couple of weeks. A pet that I got to buy some fun toys for. A pet that I even thought about naming Libby? Not sure... so don't hold me to that one.

I loved my old Jeep. It moved me three times and has helped others move. It made numerous trips to Louisville KY, St Louis, Minneapolis, and Kansas City. It had 8 miles when I drove it off the lot in 1996. It had over 115,000 miles on it by the time I sold it. I had it for just under ten years. The salesmen at the dealership were actually impressed and somewhat surprised that I owned the same vehicle for that long. Is it really that uncommon of a thing to happen?

The transition to the new Jeep has been relatively easy, with few bumps along the way. The brakes and gas are more sensitive. A fact which I quickly noted as I drove off the lot like it was my first day in Driver's Ed. There have been some features that I wasn't aware of that I'm finding quite handy. Like the display that shows how many more miles I can go; how long before I need an oil change; temperature and direction; and even programmable garage door openers. The one that has surprised me the most is the fuel gauge monitor. It alerts me when I am getting low on gas, and how much further I can go before I'm bone dry.

This happened for the first time yesterday and it scared the hell out of me. I tend to be very sensative to cars making funny noises. Whether I understand what the hell the noise means is unlikely. But I am aware of the presence of a new noise.

When the Low Fuel Alarm sounded, it was in the middle of a song that had two heaping scoops of beeps and chirps and tones all it's own.


"What the fuck was that? Was that the song? Are there sirens approaching? What the hell are you trying to me Yeep?" To locate the source of the noise became my next challenge. In much the same way as I've blinded people with my high beams in an effort to turn on my windshield wipers, I fumbled around with multiple buttons in an attempt to discover the cause.

I imagine this is why you may see a lot of new cars, not even plated yet, involved in accidents. The drivers are probably trying to discover the source of some new noise or alert they never had before. Then, WHAM... right into the back end of another vehicle. Knock on wood!

My very first car had a similar feature. It was a small panel the size of an index card with a crude drawing of the vehicle. There were several LED lights embedded at strategic points on the display that would indicated if the engine needed to be serviced or low on gas or if there was a door open. At some point, the panel worked intermittently and the lights would come on and off at random. "Did the oil need changing? How can I be out of gas? I just filled up."

I finally noted on the dash a small gaspump shaped lit icon, that I presumed meant I needed to fuel up. I then figured out how to flip through the various computer displays to discover that I could go another 15 miles before I'd be out of gas. I might barely be able to make it home. Who knows how accurate it is? I made it to a gas station just fine. Which, I know is very anti-climactic way to end the story. I like that fact that I've got a warning for when I get low on gas. I typically don't let it get super low, but it happens. Especially with a new car, where I'm not used to knowing how far I can 'push' it before something needs to be done.
I posted this @ 5/17/2006 09:06:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



From Joe. My. God. via

"We've got to peddle the lie that we're all the same so we all buy the same products. That's why they don't like openly gay people on TV. We upset the view that we're all the same. What is Magneto going to say about that? Well, what everybody should say. Not on your life! There are people who think you can cure homosexuality. Scientologists will tell you they can cure you. They can CURE you! Well, Magneto suddenly became an easy part to play."

- Ian McKellan, talking about the plot for X-Men 3, in which a cure for mutantcy is found.
I posted this @ 5/16/2006 10:40:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



Before you read any further... Click here and download the first song. Chicago - You're The Inspiration (Right Click & Save)

It's ok. I'll wait.

There are quite a few of my friends from high school that I keep in touch with. Sometimes it amazes people that I can say I've known So & So for over fifteen years. Charity is one of the few people that I can say I've know for over 20 years. Which... is cool and makes me feel a little old.

Moving on!

Charity always springs to mind when I hear Chicago's You're The Inspiration. Why? Glad you asked!

It was getting close to the end of our 6th Grade year. Back then the 6th graders were still grouped with the younger kids. We'd made it through elementary school and were on our way to junior high. It was cause for celebration. A graduation of sorts.

Matt S was the local rich kid. He's dad was a lawyer and his mother worked for the Arbor Day Foundation which was headquartered in my home town. Matt invited the 6th grade class over to his house for a party. Now, this was important on several levels.

I LOVED Matt's house. It was cool in a way that I wouldn't be able to articulate for many years. It was the kind of house that seemed like it held secrets. Good secrets. A gray stone exterior, with large windows, hard wood floors, and well-kept elegant rooms that, if human, I'm sure cringed at the thought of dozens of kids running through.

Charity was a friend in a way that I was not familiar with most friends. Not only was she cool in that sweet and innocent way, but she made my stomach turn. Ah... young love. I guess technically Charity was my first crush.

She would also be my first dance. The party was getting it's second wind. After playing in the park across the street from Matt's house and exploring any room that dared leave it's door open we all managed to congregate on the front porch that overlooked the park and busy main street.

The music was coming from speakers placed in open windows. Record perhaps, more likely cassette since that was the format of choice at the time. Besides, I"m sure Matt's family could've afforded such a sound system at the time.

The words flowed from open windows. "You know our love was meant to be,
the kind of love that lasts forever." The intial nerves were quickly banished as everyone paired up and began swaying in a very odd way. How do kids learn how to dance? From watching adults? From TV? Yet everyone seemed to know exactly where hands went and what to do with feet. No young Fred Astaires were present. This was about as basic as dancing gets. Hands on elbows. Room enough for a third person to be stuck inside joined arms. Maybe, your heel left the ground as you swayed. Maybe... The kids who really knew how to dance even turned slightly as they swayed back and forth. The Icky Phase that kids sometimes feel about each other melted for a moment. Long enough to act like we actually liked each other.

Looking back on the lyrics I laugh. What do 12 year olds know about love? Peter Cetera wasn't singing to a bunch of budding pubescent middle school kids. He was singing of real love. Real feelings. Real passion.

I carried a torch for a long time. Foolishly, long time... The kind of embarassingly long time that John Hughes makes movies about. After a while, I understood that while Charity wouldn't feel the same way, the way we DID feel for each other that came from that dance was somethign even better.

To this day, you can ask her what song it was and who she danced with and she coudl tell you. Being from a small town, we share a lot of friends, and have a history that many people will never fully understand.

In a way, the song really was about how I thought of Charity. She was the inspiration to write at various times. What started out as a first dance, and a long standing crush... became a friendship that no one will ever match. She is one of the people that I can talk to or get a letter from and it seems like no time has passed since the last time we talked. How many people have the power to bridge such gaps in time like that in your life? If you know of some... hold on to them. Tell them that you are appreciative of their friendship. Tell them why they mean what they mean to you.

Thank you, Charity.
I posted this @ 5/15/2006 12:26:00 PM.............Need a link?..........


I've got this weird pressure thing going on in my head. Llike I need to sneeze and let it out or somehow wiggle my nose and get rid of some 'air' in my head. I blame the weather, totally. You know when you blow up a ballow, but don't tie it off... so you let out the air slowly through the opening. I feel like I should be somehow able to do that with my nose.
I posted this @ 5/15/2006 11:54:00 AM.............Need a link?..........


Interviews are something I dread. Not because of any pressure to answer questions. Or because of trying to impress someone who could potentially be your boss. Simply because I hate wearing ties. Hate.

I don't know that I can say exactly what it is about wearing a tie that I hate, but that's not going to stop me from trying for the next 300+ words.

When I worked as a manager at McDonald's, besides it being a proud time in my life, I was asked to wear a tie if I work a buttoned shirt. Can I tell you, I rarely wore a button-up shirt. It was polos all the way. All the shirts they offered (free) were short sleeved. I have always felt that I look stupid with a tie (dressy) and a short-sleeve shirt (casual). Did I mention these were clip on ties? Stylin'!

When I started at Boys Town, we had to dress up every day for the two weeks of training. I specifically went out and bought collar-less dress shirts so I wouldn't have to wear a tie. Luckily, once training ended I didn't have to wear tie for a long damn time. Since then it has only been interviews that I've worn ties.

Actually, that isn't entirely true. I've worn ties as part of weddings that I've been asked to be in. Which I'm ok with. It's a weird contradiction. I hate wearing tie, unless it involves a tux. I'm very all or nothing when it comes to clothing. Yes... you heard that right. Gutter minds.

Yet, tuxedos are a little much for a job interview. Unless you are going to be working as a professional mannequin or wedding cake-topper. But how often do those jobs come along.

So tie or no tie. The job interview I had today went quite well. It wasn't 30 seconds after I left the building that my tie came off.
I posted this @ 5/15/2006 11:31:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



I finally uploaded a few pictures of the new Jeep

My new Jeep

I'll have to tell you the story of how it actually came into my posession. It's definitely a rambling tale.
I posted this @ 5/14/2006 02:45:00 PM.............Need a link?..........



Damn Charity and her Precious Moments fluff emails she sends, that I swear I won't get all misty or thinky about when I read..

No. *sniffle* I'm fine. I just have something in my eye!

Beautifully Stated

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn't supposed to ever let you down
probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures,
laugh too much,
and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

I posted this @ 5/12/2006 07:47:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



Spoonin' Cherry

I posted this @ 5/11/2006 12:08:00 PM.............Need a link?..........


Non Sequitor Of The Day:

THIRSTY LADY: "Ooo! I want to try that Sprite with the Lemon-Lime."

Is this new? What the hell had she been drinking before?
I posted this @ 5/11/2006 11:29:00 AM.............Need a link?..........


While I'm horrified that a Michael Jackson song was the first title to pop into my mind for this entry... Hopefully what I'm about to show you will detract from that.

Jay pointed this out to me. I had to spread the word. Keep an eye out for my doppleganger!

Old Market Lights

If I've ever wondered what I'd look like with blonde hair... that would be it.
I posted this @ 5/11/2006 11:16:00 AM.............Need a link?..........


I know I've talked about this before. Probably several times. I understand there is a certain amount of skepticism on someone's part if reading this they think I've said all this before. You'd be right.

I'm saying it again mainly for my own benefit. If it is 'outside' my head then it's more real.

I'm trying to get in shape. I currently weigh 210 pounds. I wouldn't mind weighing 210 if the fat:muscle ratio was a bit different than it is now. So my plan is to get down to 200 and then go from there.

Ten pounds doesn't seem like a lot. You hear people who lose that much in relatively short times. I'm somewhat conscious of how much I eat. At least in the regards that portion size plays a big part in losing weight. I've always been a fan of eating what you want, but just less of it.

Here's how this is going to work. I've figured out how many calories I would need to eat to maintain my current weight. Taking in less calories combined with exercise will hopefully put me on the right track. Now, I'm being honest with myself when I say that I'm not going to be running miles and miles a day. At this point... that isn't happening. So no use in kidding myself, or any of you.

I'm keeping a daily log of my weight in the morning, what I'm eating throughout the day. Everything! Every snack. Every soda. Every meal. Everything. The idea being that I'll be paying more conscious attention to what I'm eating. Cutting out what I can where I can. Being on guard for certain times of day when I eat for the simple sake of eating and not for any real benefit.

I'm on my third day of this process. It's kind of an annoyance to carry a little notebook to jot down all my food, but it's not that big of a deal in the long run.
We'll see how it goes.
I posted this @ 5/11/2006 11:08:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



Yes. Yes yes yes... I know I'm posting a lot of these damned videos. But there is just somethign about You Tube that is addictive. It's like meth. Addictive addictive meth. But without the tooth decay.


"Here is your evil lasagna."

I thinking I need to incorporate this type of speak into my everyday lexicon.
I posted this @ 5/10/2006 12:08:00 PM.............Need a link?..........



tuesday is chooseday

Either leave your answers or a link to your webpage with your responses.

    Would you rather:
  1. be trapped on a desert island with a creature that's top-half is human and bottom-half fish (like a mermaid/merman) OR top-half fish, bottom-half human?
  2. be kidnapped by al-quaeda OR the CIA?
  3. sleep nude in a seedy motel bed OR wear a stranger's underwear for a day?
  4. run over a raccoon while driving to the store OR step on a tarantula?

Ok... I know these questions are bizarre, but they are fun.

1) I'd rather be trapped with a merman. While he might have an issue with me eating his cousins of the sea. Hopefully I could convince him to help me eat to survive.

2) While neither would be preferred, having to pick one I'd say the CIA. I think I'd be able to reason with them better.

3) I'm trying not to choose both answer or qualify either option. Stranger's underwear. Don't think me gross. I figure if I get a clean pair that hasn't been worn yet that day. I wouldn't be as odd.

4) Sorry PETA. I'd hit that raccoon, and I have. (There's a phrase I didn't think I'd ever type. Evuh!) It wasn't done on purpose. But in the Royal Rumble of Car vs. Small Animal. Car wins virtually everytime.
I posted this @ 5/09/2006 12:15:00 PM.............Need a link?..........



Sometimes my famiy drives me crazy... Which overall isn't that much of a shock. I'd imagine that everyone's family makes them a little bonkers sometimes.

You might remember a few months ago when I wrote about my Grandfather being in the hospital. First for a pacemaker. Then because he fractured his back. Surprisingly, he is pretty good shape, all things considered. He still drives around town (slowly, like most elderly in Nebraska City). He goes for coffee. He'll take walks outside when it's not too hot or cold.

After he hurt his back and the doctors literally glued him back together, one of the restrictions was that he was not to use a garden tiller, a hedge trimmer, or a lawn mower. Amongst other less relavent things. Now that the weather has been getting better and grass is growing... can we guess what he's been doing?

Now, before I go on I should explain a bit about my Grandfather. He's always been busy. He's a proud man, who has always had one or two projects being juggled at any time. He is not the type to sit around. So I can understand ignoring some doctors orders to refrain from certain activities that used to be 'livelihood'.

I've spoken with my Grandmother about why he continues to mow the lawn. She has taken a stance that it is easier to let him do what he wants rather than to take static from him when she tells him he can't do it.

This tears me up. Do I tell him that he can't be "useful" anymore and protect his health or do I let him hurt himself again? I can see his side. I really do get it. I honestly do. I'd hate to feel useless and have to rely on someone else for things.

I've told her that I would come down and mow the lawn. I've asked her about hiring someone to mow the lawn. All of these options keep coming back to the problem of my Grandfather wanting to remain active. It's basic Human Development. In your old age, do you sit around and stagnate or keep moving and stay active. I know what I'd pick, if it is a conscious choice.

I've been met by a lot of resistance. My Grandmother, obviously, doesn't want to upset my Grandfather. My Father feels that I should just let him do what he wants. Even if it means hurting himself further? Am I wrong in wanting to keep my Grandfather safe from harm?

There's got to be some compromise. There's got to be something he can do that will make him feel useful, but that isn't detremental to his health. As of yet, I've not come up with anything.

I've gone so far as to threaten to literally sell the mower right out from underneath him, which I know is drastic. I probably would do that only as a last resort. My concern is his health. I try to take into account his mental health as well. It's a toss up. Does he go down with his boots on, doing what he wants? I've never subscribed to that theory very seriously. Especially when it flies in the face of a person's safety.

I think my Grandmother was almost... hurt? Because I was very forward and agressive in what I was asking her to do. Don't tell my Grandfather, and just call someone to come mow the lawn anyway. I knew she wouldn't do it. I told her if she didn't do it, then the next time I came over then I'd do it myself. This was on Thursday.

As of last night, I think we might have come to a better compromise. She said she talked to my Grandfather with the following choice. Would he rather pay for someone to take care of the lawn or pay for medical bills? She seems to think that this got through to him. I would hope so. I know that his desire to stay out of the hospital is strong. Hopefully it's strong enough to find something to do with his time other than activities around the house that will cause him further harm.
It's been a big strain on my mind lately. I'm the closest person to them, geographically. I'm also the first person that will most likely be called if something was to happen. I'm the one 'in charge' when it comes to final arrangements. My personal feeling is that if I am going to be in charge of what happens after, then I have the ability to give my input on decisions before.
I posted this @ 5/08/2006 07:52:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



If you think you have no rhythm... at least you can have creativity.

This is totally work safe! And totally hilarious!

The Evolution Of Dance

I posted this @ 5/05/2006 08:43:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



Motivation can be a slippery beast of a bitch to catch and hold on to. My psychology books would talk about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Does it come from within you or are you moved by outside influences. Maybe an artist is uninspired to paint. Maybe a couple is stuck in a rut and needs a change. Maybe a child sees no reason to strive for excellence.

In some cases it is being able to find your muse. At least I'd say it is for the creative types motivational needs. Sometimes even writing this blog requires motivation that isn't there. Not for lack of anything to say, but for lack of motivation to present it.

When I worked at The Hotline I'd often get parents who had issues with their children. They couldn't get their son or daughter to do what they wanted them to do. Typically it wasn't any unreasonable request that they were asking of their child. One thing that I would always ask, is what motivates their child. What's something that they enjoy? That is what is used as a reward/punishment. Occasionally I would get a frustrated parent who would ask if I had children. Most of the time I would tell them no, with the addition that I had worked with children in a close environment where their everyday mundane behavior was governed by what they should or should not do.

Of course this doesn't take the place of being an actual parent. Yet it gave me enough of an insight to understand where motivation might come from. Occasionally a child would get in trouble for some offense. The infraction would vary. Maybe they got in a fight at school. Perhaps they were picking on a housemate. Maybe they were not doing their chores. Nothing to unusual or unlike what would happen in a typical non-group home home.

These kids were on a point system of how their privileges were earned. Have a bad day and earn a lot of negative points? You probably weren't going to get to go over to the neighbors house and play video games. Have a good day and do all that was asked of you (which honestly wasn't much)? Then you probably were going to get to go to the Field House and play basketball after dinner.

What I noticed happening was when a child reached a certain point and he knew he wasn't going to be earning his privileges for the next day, he would go Out Of Control. He'd see no way to redeem himself from whatever might have got him to that point so he might as well go balls out and just go wild. Usually not violent, but there was no reasoning with him till he calmed down or just got tired of acting out.

Then you'd sit down with him and hear the story about how he got in trouble at school for forgetting his homework. Which earned him a bad grade. Which he knew he'd get in trouble for at home for not having his homework either done or with him. Even though we'd remind them and check to make sure it was done. It would become a domino effect.

But I'm getting off track... Motivation! A person needs to be able to see and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That even though they may be in trouble in the short term, that there is a long term that is going to be better. With kids, it's usually more difficult to explain, because they don't think long term. Even for adults it isn't easy.

Everyone has their Point Of No Return where it just seems like there is no way to get back to a better place. It's not easy to find the motivation when you have nothing to work towards. Nowhere to go.

A dead-end job. A grounded child. A writer whose used up all his words. Everyone needs motivation. If you can't find it from within you, hopefully you can find it around you.
I posted this @ 5/04/2006 11:52:00 AM.............Need a link?..........



I figured it was about time to update this. Not much has changed, but a couple things have.

1. My full name has 23 letters in it.
2. I am 5'10"/5'11" (depending on the day)
3. I have had every natural color of hair at one point in my life. Born blonde (hold you jokes), turned red, and then stayed brown for the longest time. Now it is slowly becoming dark brown/black. Transparent/flesh colored in some places. Damn you genetics!!
4. My favorite sport is tennis.
5. I started fencing within the last few years.
6. I started fencing because a friend and I took a class through Metro Comm. College. I stuck with it after the class.
7. My favorite non-alcoholic beverage is PF Chang's Iced Tea or Dr. Pepper.
8. My lucky number is 8.
9. I am a Virgo.
10. I was born in the Year of the Tiger.
11. My nose is slightly crooked.
12. My favorite alcoholic beverage is Hornsby's or Margarita.
13. After several Margaritas, I've been known to sing.
14. I unofficially began spelling my name as Cris in the 8th grade (long story).
15. I have a half-brother and a step-sister. I have some other half and step siblings that I'm still trying to figure out how they fit in my life.
16. I've had three vehicles in my life (and close to needing a fourth).
17. My first car was an '86 Gray Ford Escort.
18. My second car was a 90-something White Geo Tracker
19. My current car is a '96 Green Jeep Cherokee. I love it!
20. I have been in four weddings and a funeral (not the movie).
21. I was tested for allergies and found out I was allergic to some degree to 75% of the 150 things the tested me for. Mainly pollens and such.
22. I can quote most of The Goonies and a good portion of The Breakfast Club on a whim.
23. My favorite color is green (if you can't tell from the website)
24. I was a member of the Yearbook Committee & School Paper in High School
25. I was a band geek... a HUGE band geek.
26. I play the drums
27. ...tuba
28. ...trombone
29. ...violin (though I couldn't now if I wanted to)
30. ...piano
31. I once stuffed a Freshman into my tuba case, just because I could.
32. My favorite dish is anything Italian. Chicken Parmesan is the standard that I judge Italian restaurants on. If the place can't make a decent chicken parm, then there is something wrong with the place.
33. My favorite dish to make is Pollo Rellano. I'm still trying to perfect it, but I enjoy making it.
34. The strangest thing I've ever eaten was Cheerios in Sprite.
35. I am 11 days older than my best friend, Mike.
36. Mike and I have been accused of being cousins.
37. Growing up I had a Beagle named Roscoe
38. I want to get a bulldog someday.
39. My brother, sister, and I all have our birthdays within the same week in September.
40. The three boys my biological father has had (myself included) all have the same middle name.
41. My name means "Bearing Christ".
42. I have been told I'm agnostic.
43. One of my best friends is also named Chris.
44. I was known (and to some still am) Big Cris... while he was Little Chris.
45. I think we sing a pretty good version of Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel
46. I was one of seven people named Cris (various spellings and genders) in school
47. I am half English, half German.
48. I cried when Jim Henson died.
49. Kermit the Frog singing Rainbow Connection was the first song I taught myself how to play on the piano.
50. Ben Fold's song 'Kate' is my latest favorite song to play on the piano.
51. I don't twist open Oreo's
52. I do eat fajitas and soft tacos open face, with a fork, like a salad.
53. I've 'borrowed' 3 stop signs. (You're welcome, Charity)
54. I have 'borrowed' (with the help of my two cohorts) a sand filled pylon only to 'donate' it to the Missouri River.
55. I've driven around the block to finish hearing the rest of my favorite song on the radio.
56. I was a guest DJ on the radio once.
57. I've been on television before, as part of my high school marching band.
58. My favorite song is Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds
59. I was on the volunteer Rescue Squad in Nebraska City for a year and a half.
60. I am CPR certified
61. I worked at McDonald's for 5 years
62. I now have a better appreciation for Food Service workers. There is no need to freak out if you fries aren't in your mouth in less than a minute
63. I am a poor tipper only because I can't easily do that math
64. I have tried out for three television shows
65. ...The Mole (reality game show)
66. ...Real World
67. ...College Jeopardy
68. I was one question away from qualifying for the next level of contestant selection, and I will now ALWAYS remember that Amy Tan wrote the Joy Luck Club
69. I worked at a suicide/crisis hotline for over 5 years.
70. I currently work in a hospital
71. I dabble in photography.
72. ...charcoal sketching.
73. aided color rendering
74. I have never broken a bone
75. I am a confessed pen kleptomaniac
76. Even though I don't understand a majority of what is being said, I love Telemundo and Univision!
77. I shake when I laugh whole-heartedly (Hand me a martini and watch me go!!)
78. At any given time I will have a song stuck in my head
79. If I ever moved out of Omaha, NE I would love to move to St Louis or Seattle.
80. I was a Psych Major I graduated in 1997 with a B.S. in Psychology (ironic title isn't it?)
81. Before I decided on that I wanted to be a lawyer until I realized I couldn't debate or argue worth shit
82. I thought about majoring in Broadcast Journalism (radio or television)
83. I have a personalized license plate, SWRDSMN
84. I am a child of the '80s
85. I have been white water rafting
86. I am double jointed
87. I can count to twenty in Spanish
88. I used to be able to count to twenty in German
89. I have been to Germany, but I've never been to Spain
90. I know a little basic sign language and the alphabet
91. I am fascinated by languages
92. I pick up accents very easily
93. Scooby-doo is my favorite cartoon. Scrappy-doo is a bitch and I hate him...
94. I am a registered Democrat, but not really all that political.
95. My current favorite television show is Lost.
96. I will own anything that Natalie Merchant puts out on an album!
97. I am afraid of ventriloquist dummies
98. I can swim, but I can't tread water
99. My IQ is higher than my bowling average. (Which may or may not say much about how smart I am or how well I can bowl...)
100. My personal motto is "Life is too serious, to take too seriously."
I posted this @ 5/01/2006 08:36:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...

100 Things
How Well Do You Know Me?


Olbermann: Gay marriage is a question of love
Gay ex-governor says he's too poor for alimony
-Barack’s Gay Balance
Calif. Supreme Court rejects gay marriage ban
-Where the Bears don't fear to tread
ABBA Melody


"The Day I Helped Kill A Baby" - Joe.My.God.
"Summertime Blues" - Tomato Nation
"Mama Crazy" -
"Something I Will Never Forget" -
"OMG! It's a teenager." - Does This Mean...
"The God of Comedy Setup Lines" - Frolic & Detour
"Can't Handle The Tooth" - Hissyfit

F6 l c f+++! g+ m++ s(e)

B6 d- t k+ s u-- f i o+ x e+ l+ c

GSS d- s: a C++ W++ PS+ tv++ b+ e++ h- r++ y+

SMo/Ga/Ma A31 W+ H+ w h D+ E+ C++ e++ f Ma S+++

B3 f c-v g+ k? s--

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Counting Sheep
Originally uploaded by Fib.