| 5/08/2006 |
WE ARE FAMILY
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Sometimes my famiy drives me crazy... Which overall isn't that much of a shock. I'd imagine that everyone's family makes them a little bonkers sometimes.
You might remember a few months ago when I wrote about my Grandfather being in the hospital. First for a pacemaker. Then because he fractured his back. Surprisingly, he is pretty good shape, all things considered. He still drives around town (slowly, like most elderly in Nebraska City). He goes for coffee. He'll take walks outside when it's not too hot or cold.
After he hurt his back and the doctors literally glued him back together, one of the restrictions was that he was not to use a garden tiller, a hedge trimmer, or a lawn mower. Amongst other less relavent things. Now that the weather has been getting better and grass is growing... can we guess what he's been doing?
Now, before I go on I should explain a bit about my Grandfather. He's always been busy. He's a proud man, who has always had one or two projects being juggled at any time. He is not the type to sit around. So I can understand ignoring some doctors orders to refrain from certain activities that used to be 'livelihood'.
I've spoken with my Grandmother about why he continues to mow the lawn. She has taken a stance that it is easier to let him do what he wants rather than to take static from him when she tells him he can't do it.
This tears me up. Do I tell him that he can't be "useful" anymore and protect his health or do I let him hurt himself again? I can see his side. I really do get it. I honestly do. I'd hate to feel useless and have to rely on someone else for things.
I've told her that I would come down and mow the lawn. I've asked her about hiring someone to mow the lawn. All of these options keep coming back to the problem of my Grandfather wanting to remain active. It's basic Human Development. In your old age, do you sit around and stagnate or keep moving and stay active. I know what I'd pick, if it is a conscious choice.
I've been met by a lot of resistance. My Grandmother, obviously, doesn't want to upset my Grandfather. My Father feels that I should just let him do what he wants. Even if it means hurting himself further? Am I wrong in wanting to keep my Grandfather safe from harm?
There's got to be some compromise. There's got to be something he can do that will make him feel useful, but that isn't detremental to his health. As of yet, I've not come up with anything.
I've gone so far as to threaten to literally sell the mower right out from underneath him, which I know is drastic. I probably would do that only as a last resort. My concern is his health. I try to take into account his mental health as well. It's a toss up. Does he go down with his boots on, doing what he wants? I've never subscribed to that theory very seriously. Especially when it flies in the face of a person's safety.
I think my Grandmother was almost... hurt? Because I was very forward and agressive in what I was asking her to do. Don't tell my Grandfather, and just call someone to come mow the lawn anyway. I knew she wouldn't do it. I told her if she didn't do it, then the next time I came over then I'd do it myself. This was on Thursday.
As of last night, I think we might have come to a better compromise. She said she talked to my Grandfather with the following choice. Would he rather pay for someone to take care of the lawn or pay for medical bills? She seems to think that this got through to him. I would hope so. I know that his desire to stay out of the hospital is strong. Hopefully it's strong enough to find something to do with his time other than activities around the house that will cause him further harm.
It's been a big strain on my mind lately. I'm the closest person to them, geographically. I'm also the first person that will most likely be called if something was to happen. I'm the one 'in charge' when it comes to final arrangements. My personal feeling is that if I am going to be in charge of what happens after, then I have the ability to give my input on decisions before. |
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I posted this @ 5/08/2006 07:52:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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