| 9/02/2003 |
BURN ME UP BURN ME DOWN
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I was recently asked about my Pop-tart story. If you've never heard the Pop-tart story... then gathered round children. It's story time.
It was late one night, not too long ago. I was up past most people's bedtimes. My roommate, was asleep at the time. I decided that I was hungry. As is usually the case for me during the night. I didn't want to make an entire meal. Even assembling a sandwich seemed to much of a task at this point. The quickest fix I could find was a box of S'mores Pop-tarts. These tasty treats, while certainly enjoyable cold, are best enjoyed toasted to a delicious warmth.
I put the Pop-tarts in my ancient hand-me-down toasted I had inherited in the move, pushed down the mechanism and went back to the computer to continue playing whatever game it was that had my attention securely wrapped around it pinky.
After what seemed like should have been a sufficient enough time to complete the heating process of my delicate confection, I began to her sizzling noises coming from the kitchen. I sprung from the desk and ran into the kitchen to see flames coming from the toasters orange glowing maw. I quickly unplugged the toaster, but was unsure what to do next. Do I dowse it with water? It's an appliance, but it's not plugged in. Do I cover it with some powder to snuff the flames? No. The fire is coming from deep within the toaster, now angry and sputtering molten marshmallow goo in any direction it sees fit.
For the unaware... the toasting temperature of graham cracker is much lower than the toasting temperature of the regular pastry dough that encases the fruit goodness. This is not something included in the ample three step instructions. The graham cracker had erupted and leaked marshmallow on to the inner coils.
Being the quick thinker that I am... I opened the patio door allowing the snowy winter air come rushing in. Grabbing the antiquated hot metal toaster with two potholders, I liberate the toaster back into the wild. It flies over the balcony railing and lands in a drift bank of snow on the ground below. Much like an agile cat it lands right side up. Neither the wind create from the tossing, nor landing in snow put out the fire. So there, below my balcony was the remains of my snack, still stuck in the toaster. A toaster that was still on fire, melting the snow around it. It eventually drifted over and was put out. There it remained until the Spring thaw, when minimum wage apartment workers picked up the leftovers.
For those of you who know me... You can just picture why this is something 'intelligent' that I would do. For those of you who stumbled across this page thru some link. Go back to who evers page brought you here and ask them. They will provide the necessary character references. |
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I posted this @ 9/02/2003 07:27:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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| 9/01/2003 |
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Jeni inspired me to write this. I have a feeling that I am underestimating how long it will take to write 100 things that I want to share about myself.
100 Things About Me
1. My full name has 23 letters in it.
2. I am 5’10”/5’11” (depending on the day)
3. I have had every natural color of hair at one point in my life. Born blonde (hold you jokes), turned red, and then stayed brown for the longest time. Now it is slowly becoming dark brown/black. “Transparent/flesh colored” in some places. Damn you genetics!!
4. My favorite sport is tennis.
5. I started fencing within the last few years.
6. I started fencing because a friend and I took a class through Metro Comm. College. I stuck with it after the class.
7. My favorite non-alcoholic beverage is Iced Tea or Dr. Pepper
8. My lucky number is 8.
9. I am a Virgo.
10. I was born in the Year of the Tiger.
11. My nose is slightly crooked.
12. My favorite alcoholic beverage is Hornsby’s or (insert liquor here) Sour.
13. After several (insert liquor here) sours, I’ve been known to sing
14. I unofficially began spelling my name as Cris in the 8th grade (long story)
15. I have a half-brother and a step-sister. I have some other half and step siblings that I’m still trying to figure out how they fit in my life.
16. I’ve had three vehicles in my life.
17. My first car was an ’86 Gray Ford Escort.
18. My second car was a 90-something White Geo Tracker
19. My current car is a ’96 Green Jeep Cherokee. I love it!
20. I have been in four weddings and a funeral.
21. I was tested for allergies and found out I was allergic to some degree to 75% of the 150 things the tested me for. Mainly pollens and such.
22. I can quote most of The Goonies and a good portion of The Breakfast Club on a whim.
23. My favorite color is green (if you can't tell from the website)
24. I was a member of the Yearbook Committee & School Paper in High School
25. I was a band geek... a BIG band geek.
26. I play the drums
27. ...tuba
28. ...trombone
29. ...violin (though I don't remember it now tho)
30. ...piano
31. I once stuffed a Freshman into my tuba case
32. My favorite dish is anything Italian. Chicken Parmesan is the standard that I judge Italian restaurants on. If the place can't make a decent chicken parm, then there is something wrong with the place.
33. My favorite dish to make is Pollo Rellano. I'm still trying to perfect it, but I enjoy making it.
34. The strangest thing I’ve ever eaten was Cheerios in Sprite
35. I am 11 days older than my best friend, Mike.
36. Mike and I have been accused of being cousins.
37. Growing up I had a Beagle named Roscoe
38. I want to get a bulldog someday.
39. My brother, sister, and I all have our birthdays within the same week in September.
40. The three boys my biological father has had (myself included) all have the same middle name.
41. My name means "Bearing Christ"
42. I have been told I'm agnostic
43. One of my best friends is also named Chris.
44. I was known (and to some still am) Big Cris... while he was Little Chris.
45. I think we sing a pretty good version of Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel
46. I was one of seven people named Cris (various spellings and genders) in school
47. I am half Anglo-Saxon, half German.
48. I cried when Jim Henson died.
49. Kermit the Frog singing Rainbow Connection was the first song I taught myself how to play on the piano.
50. Ben Fold’s song “Kate” is my latest favorite song to play on the piano.
51. I don't twist open Oreo's
52. I do eat fajitas and soft tacos open face, with a fork, like a salad.
53. I've stolen 3 stop signs (You're welcome, Charity)
54. I have stolen (with the help of my two cohorts) a sand filled pylon only to 'donate' it to the Missouri River.
55. I've driven around the block to finish hearing the rest of my favorite song on the radio.
56. I was a guest DJ on the radio once.
57. I’ve been on television before, as part of a high school marching band.
58. My favorite song is Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds.
59. I was on the volunteer Rescue Squad in Nebraska City for a year and a half.
60. I am CPR certified
61. I worked at McDonald's for 5 years.
62. I now have a better appreciation for Food Service workers. There is no need to freak out if you fries aren't in your car in less than a minute.
63. I am a poor tipper only because I can't easily do that math.
64. I have tried out for three television shows.
65. ...The Mole (reality game show)
66. ...Real World
67. ...College Jeopardy
68. I was one question away from qualifying for the next level of contestant selection, but I will now ALWAYS remember that Amy Tan wrote the Joy Luck Club
69. I currently work as a Supervisor at a suicide/crisis hotline.
70. This is the longest I’ve ever worked in one place and I love it.
71. I dabble in photography
72. ...charcoal sketching
73. ...computer aided color rendering
74. I have never broken a bone.
75. I am a confessed pen kleptomaniac.
76. I am secretly addicted to infomercials, they are the comedy show of the shopping world.
77. I shake when I laugh whole-heartedly (Hand me a martini and watch me go!!)
78. At any given time I will have a song stuck in my head.
79. If I ever moved out of Omaha, NE I would love to move to St Louis or Seattle.
80. I was a Psych Major I graduated in 1997 with a B.S. in Psychology (ironic title isn't it?)
81. Before I decided on that I wanted to be a lawyer until I realized I couldn't debate or argue worth shit.
82. I thought about majoring in Broadcast Journalism (radio or television)
83. I have a personalized license plate, SWRDSMN
84. I am a child of the '80s
85. I have been white water rafting
86. I am double jointed
87. I can count to twenty in Spanish
88. I used to be able to count to twenty in German
89. I have been to Germany, but I’ve never been to Spain
90. I know the alphabet and a little basic sign language
91. I am fascinated by languages
92. I pick up accents very easily
93. Scooby-doo is my favorite cartoon. Scrappy-doo is a bitch and I hate him...
94. I am a registered Democrat.
95. My current favorite television show is Alias.
96. I will own anything that Natalie Merchant puts out on an album!
97. I am afraid of ventriloquist dummies.
98. I can swim, but I can't tread water.
99. My IQ is higher than my bowling average. (Which may or may not say much about anything...)
100. My personal motto is "Life is too serious, to take too seriously."
SMARTY PANTS
In an effort to know a little more about what goes on in the world and to make this blog something worthwhile here is my plan. I usually just read headlines and skim the article itself if the headline looks interesting. I would like to read at least one article a week. Then use the blog to comment on it. I am not going to say this will be done on a certain day of the week or time or anything.. But I'd like to at least do this once a week. Let's see if this lasts longer than the time I tried to eat healthy and avoid fast food. After one week, I broke down and was salvating at Arby's. Damn you, Arby's!!
Gavin Degraw - Follow Through
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don’t you agree?
I haven’t felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So since you want to be with me
You’ll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I’ll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
I'd almost forgot about this one! I'm glad fl0w3r reminded me!
Beepilepsy: noun (be"-puh-lehp'-see)
1. a sudden recurring attack of motor, sensory, or psychic malfunction with or without loss of consciousness or convulsive seizures due to ones pager, cellphone, or other communication device going off while in ones pocket.
I was recently asked about my Pop-tart story. If you've never heard the Pop-tart story... then gathered round children. It's story time.
It was late one night, not too long ago. I was up past most people's bedtimes. My roommate, was asleep at the time. I decided that I was hungry. As is usually the case for me during the night. I didn't want to make an entire meal. Even assembling a sandwich seemed to much of a task at this point. The quickest fix I could find was a box of S'mores Pop-tarts. These tasty treats, while certainly enjoyable cold, are best enjoyed toasted to a delicious warmth.
I put the Pop-tarts in my ancient hand-me-down toasted I had inherited in the move, pushed down the mechanism and went back to the computer to continue playing whatever game it was that had my attention securely wrapped around it pinky.
After what seemed like should have been a sufficient enough time to complete the heating process of my delicate confection, I began to her sizzling noises coming from the kitchen. I sprung from the desk and ran into the kitchen to see flames coming from the toasters orange glowing maw. I quickly unplugged the toaster, but was unsure what to do next. Do I dowse it with water? It's an appliance, but it's not plugged in. Do I cover it with some powder to snuff the flames? No. The fire is coming from deep within the toaster, now angry and sputtering molten marshmallow goo in any direction it sees fit.
For the unaware... the toasting temperature of graham cracker is much lower than the toasting temperature of the regular pastry dough that encases the fruit goodness. This is not something included in the ample three step instructions. The graham cracker had erupted and leaked marshmallow on to the inner coils.
Being the quick thinker that I am... I opened the patio door allowing the snowy winter air come rushing in. Grabbing the antiquated hot metal toaster with two potholders, I liberate the toaster back into the wild. It flies over the balcony railing and lands in a drift bank of snow on the ground below. Much like an agile cat it lands right side up. Neither the wind create from the tossing, nor landing in snow put out the fire. So there, below my balcony was the remains of my snack, still stuck in the toaster. A toaster that was still on fire, melting the snow around it. It eventually drifted over and was put out. There it remained until the Spring thaw, when minimum wage apartment workers picked up the leftovers.
For those of you who know me... You can just picture why this is something 'intelligent' that I would do. For those of you who stumbled across this page thru some link. Go back to who evers page brought you here and ask them. They will provide the necessary character references.
I might as well start that new dictionary now.
Heching: verb (hesh' - ing)
1. to have your nipples continuously erect from some sort of stimulation.
origin - reference to Anne Heche in Six Days Seven Nights starring Harrison Ford
I noticed something that amuses me but was honestly nothing intentional. My screen resolution is set at 800x600. Apparently at higher resolutions the Moai statue to the right as "Heche-ing out" (if you aren't sure what Heche-ing out means... Go watch Six Days & Seven Nights with Anne Heche and Harrison Ford. You'll figure it out)
So if you have your monitor set on a higher screen resolution you'll notice that it is apparently very cold where ever that statue is sitting right now.
Actually I should just start my own dictionary of terms that I or my friends use that one I will submit to Webster's for new lexicon consideration. |
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I posted this @ 9/01/2003 09:09:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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