| 9/02/2003 |
BURN ME UP BURN ME DOWN
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I was recently asked about my Pop-tart story. If you've never heard the Pop-tart story... then gathered round children. It's story time.
It was late one night, not too long ago. I was up past most people's bedtimes. My roommate, was asleep at the time. I decided that I was hungry. As is usually the case for me during the night. I didn't want to make an entire meal. Even assembling a sandwich seemed to much of a task at this point. The quickest fix I could find was a box of S'mores Pop-tarts. These tasty treats, while certainly enjoyable cold, are best enjoyed toasted to a delicious warmth.
I put the Pop-tarts in my ancient hand-me-down toasted I had inherited in the move, pushed down the mechanism and went back to the computer to continue playing whatever game it was that had my attention securely wrapped around it pinky.
After what seemed like should have been a sufficient enough time to complete the heating process of my delicate confection, I began to her sizzling noises coming from the kitchen. I sprung from the desk and ran into the kitchen to see flames coming from the toasters orange glowing maw. I quickly unplugged the toaster, but was unsure what to do next. Do I dowse it with water? It's an appliance, but it's not plugged in. Do I cover it with some powder to snuff the flames? No. The fire is coming from deep within the toaster, now angry and sputtering molten marshmallow goo in any direction it sees fit.
For the unaware... the toasting temperature of graham cracker is much lower than the toasting temperature of the regular pastry dough that encases the fruit goodness. This is not something included in the ample three step instructions. The graham cracker had erupted and leaked marshmallow on to the inner coils.
Being the quick thinker that I am... I opened the patio door allowing the snowy winter air come rushing in. Grabbing the antiquated hot metal toaster with two potholders, I liberate the toaster back into the wild. It flies over the balcony railing and lands in a drift bank of snow on the ground below. Much like an agile cat it lands right side up. Neither the wind create from the tossing, nor landing in snow put out the fire. So there, below my balcony was the remains of my snack, still stuck in the toaster. A toaster that was still on fire, melting the snow around it. It eventually drifted over and was put out. There it remained until the Spring thaw, when minimum wage apartment workers picked up the leftovers.
For those of you who know me... You can just picture why this is something 'intelligent' that I would do. For those of you who stumbled across this page thru some link. Go back to who evers page brought you here and ask them. They will provide the necessary character references. |
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I posted this @ 9/02/2003 07:27:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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