| 4/02/2004 |
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WE ARE FAMILY by Sister Sledge
One of these days I'm going to stop apologizing for talking about what may seem like rather personal issues.. Dammit it's my blog. :-) Read it or not... it's your choice.
With that preface, let's get down to the meat and potatoes. I'd sent out the link to my friend quiz to a bunch of people in my address book. High school friends, a couple relatives, one of them being my biological mother. Now... long story short... If you've not heard me talk about my mother it is because I've not physically seen her since I was about 7 or 8. We've recently been in email contact with each other, but it is sporadic and only every few months.
Well I'd noticed that she took the quiz (a couple of times actually) and did decently. Considering that she hasn't been a part of my life for two-thirds of it. No this may seem like I'm making fun of her. I'm not really.
She did get the question right about what vegetable I hate. Now the irony for me is she's the main reason why I hate the vegetable to begin with. Although, I don't think she knows it.
I've always been a nail-biter for as long as I can recall. I've also always been a slow eater, and picky at that. Just ask any of my friends that I grew up with, who waited "forever" for me to finish dinner so I could come out and play. On one visit to her place, as I sat there very slowly eating, I decided I didn't want to eat any vegetables. Well, I couldn't leave the table till I did. So I sat there... and sat there... and sat there... I just sat there and bit my fingernails. After what seemed like forever she went and got a pair of socks and put them on my hands and I had to finish eating the vegetables that way. I think when it came down to the test of wills. Well I'd love to say I won out, but I don't recall how it played out.
In other news, I'm seeing someone. How is this noteworthy? Well... Honestly I think it is because it's been an odd road for me the past few months. Just when I thought I was over someone, I realized with the help of my friends that I wasn't. I finally came to terms with feelings that I'd been holding on to. Then what makes this noteworthy is that normally I would be jumping up and down waving banners that I had a crush on someone. Now I won't bore you with all the introspective details, but the meat and potatoes is that I found myself getting involved with someone and going down what seemed like an all too familiar path.
I am, understandably, gunshy. I didn't want to start jumping for joy just yet. I'm not one who likes to make repeat painful situations if possible. I know that getting involved in ANY relationship is a risk. Like I've quoted here before... not taking that risk at all is an even bigger risk.
I'm not infallible. I'm 'known' for talking myself in, through, and out of a relationship before anyone is even asked out. So when I find my self somehow actually involved with someone I really have to take the time to stop myself from talking my self out of a relationship. Making excuses as to why it would never work out and I shouldn't even bother. Too old... told young... I'm too immature compared to them... They are too immature for me... Too tall... Too short... Too much of a drama queen... Doesn't express any opinion... You name it. Mike's told me jokingly/seriously before that (fill in the blank whoever it may be at the time) is not good enough because they don't walk on water.
So with this current round of the dating game I've found myself falling for someone I didn't even realize I was falling for. It sort of came up and backhanded me while I wasn't even paying attention. Before I knew it, I was spending time with a great guy and having a great time. Enjoying every minute!
Let's not get too far ahead yet... Back to the gunshy thing. It seemed like the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one who is wondering if I was ready for a serious type relationship, where in the past it was whoever I was seeing that felt that.
So even though we'd been dating for a month, I'd not mentioned too much about anything because I was honestly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where was the kicker? Where was the obstacle that would end up being the reason for a break-up. Then I realized something this week. Something that I tell my callers at work all the time.. we can worry about the future and try and predict what's going to happen, but it's a waste of time. Because 99.9% percent of the things won't happen. It ends up being a waste of energy. Energy that I could be putting towards enjoying the moment, however long it lasts.
Holy crap!? Did a counselor TAKE his own advice?!?!
As my two best friends for their genders say...
Mike: "It's all good."
Zaida: "Relax.... and breathe."
Keeping both those things in mind, I'm having a great time with someone that I hope will continue.
Because it's all good, all the time, when you take the time to relax and breathe and just enjoy the moment. |
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I posted this @ 4/02/2004 08:25:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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