| 2/09/2008 |
TALK TALK TALK ABOUT IT, TALK AS IF YOU CARE
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Is talking and communication so unusual? Are we that worried about what people will think that we only tell a select few what we are really thinking and feeling? Is it wrong to want to talk? I'm including myself in this line of questioning, but I pose it to all. In the past few days I've had three different conversations on what I'd call a deep level. The topic is moot, but the reaction after the conversation was usually one of, dare I say, surprise that there is anyone willing or able to listen. As though others couldn't be bothered to be a friend to someone and listen when they have something important to say.
Speaking for myself, I would say that there is usually apprehension when talking about something serious. As much as I like to be able to predict how someone is going to react, I can't. While I don't expect a bad reaction, there is always that possibility. Enough of one to make me feel like a scared kid again. Just when I think I'm adult enough to handle a situation.
I hate small talk. I've said this before, countless times. Anyone who meets me for the first time, might say I am aloof or shy, amongst other adjectives. When really it's just the opposite. I'm not really that shy, but I can't think of pointless conversation topics when really I want to know what's bothering you; what's made you happy today; what happened on the way home that made you laugh? Is that small talk? Maybe, my form of it...
There is some irony to all this talking, I suppose. This blog as possible evidence to the contrary, I find it easier for me to ask questions than to freely divulge information about myself. If you ask me something I am more than able to answer, but freely sharing usually makes me stumble. This goes back to my original questions. Are we worried what people will think? Sure!
We recently had a team-building meeting at work where we were asked to share something about ourselves that is unique. There is a similar question that comes up a lot in meeting people. "So tell me about yourself." Which I typically respond with, "well what do you want to know?" I hate this question. I immediately go into a mode of... do I share something unique, but that might be too unusual? Do I tell them basic things (which goes back to small talk that I loathe)? How much is too much to really share?
Of course I'm not going in to interviews answering such questions with, "I don't really care for green beans, because of some childhood trauma. I find stocky hirsute guys attractive, one in particular. I can play piano by ear. I'm double jointed, but it'll most likely mean I'll have arthritis pretty bad when I'm older. Did I mention that I like to cook, but hate to bake?"
Edited, tempered answers... I get it. But do you see what I mean about communication? There is a spectrum...
Talks too much ---> Talks but doesn't listen well ---> Doesn't say much or listen ---> Listens, but doesn't say much ---> Never says anything about themselves
I fully believe that we really are social creatures. Even those that say they are anti-social still want a certain amount of interaction if for no other reason than so they can communicate what they are thinking and feeling.
Talking seems so simple, yet so difficult sometimes...Labels: introspection |
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I posted this @ 2/09/2008 10:32:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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