| 9/06/2007 |
ACT NATURALLY
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CAUTION: This entry is about pee. You've been warned.
As part of a job interview, I was required to give a sample for a drug screening. I've only had to does this on rare occasions, but it's never been an issue of not passing. I typically have a steady flow of allergy meds in my bloodstream and the occasional antibiotic. So unless there is some weird combination that the two produce... I should be fine.
It was a walk-in occupational medical clinic. Even though I had directions to the clinic this did not stop me from driving past it twice. I was expecting a building. Not four sheets of corrugated metal slapped together with temporary walls on the inside. It was a very professional and cleanly run place... I just wasn't expecting to be run out of a machine shed.
While driving around looking for the clinic, I noticed a peculiar sign on some of the posts. "If you notice a strange ODOR please call 911." Odor was the most prominent word on the sign. The sign itself was reason enough to pique my curiosity. I should add that the clinic was in an area of town where there is a rendering plant. So as your driving down the interstate, and go by the rendering plant your olfactory senses are assaulted with the stench of death and cat food. This makes the sign even more curious. I noticed a strange odor, but I knew what it was... Death and cat food. If there is a strange odor, it might just be because the wind is blowing in the right direction and the neighborhood is getting some fresh breathable air.
Just saying...
So once inside the clinic I filled out the paperwork and took a seat. Waiting, I realized something important. How was I going to pee in a cup when I'd just peed before I left? It was morning. It was out of habit. So as I sit there, bladder empty, I start thinking of ways to somehow to magically conjure urine.
My name was called and I went into a small room with a friendly, but drone-like nurse.
"Empty your pockets."
Ok?
"Wash your hands."
Ok...
"Fill this cup to the line," she says as she hands the specimen cup to me. She takes my pocket belongings and locks them in a little cabinet. Instructs me that I am NOT to flush the toilet and leaves me to my business.
Now again... I'd just peed before I left home. I don't have to go. But let me just say it is amazing what a person can manage when the need presents itself.
I hand the sample to nurse, wash my hands, and take back my belongings. I initial multiple forms in multiple places. Then she has me initial the sample container... and it's still warm.
Whatever... roll your eyes... tell me to grow up. Fine... but still. Eeew!
It's at this moment why I realize the nurse is on auto-pilot and has very little smile or perk to demeanor. She has to handle warm vials of pee all day.
A job that I do not envy. Thank you, Pee Nurse. You've brightened the outlook on my day knowing that, well... things could be worse.Labels: work |
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I posted this @ 9/06/2007 08:12:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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