'Tis a sad weekend indeed. For you see, my neighbor is moving out. Now even though I've not mentioned him except for the occasionally gripe he has become quite the topic around the parts. Rarely a weekend goes by that his drunken antics fail to amuse. This is of course, as long as they don't directly affect me.
On his final days... let's take a look back at some of Matt's finer moments, shall we. Merely a week after I moved in, he moved in. I had yet to unpack. My bed was not assembled (because I didn't have a mattress). I was leaving for a 12 hour road trip to Louisville, Ky and Chicago, IL. It is on the night before I leave that he decide to have a house warming party that lasts into the wee hours of the morning. I was willing to let it go for a while. Thinking they had to tire themselves out eventually or pass out... But by 4am... I was not a happy camper.
This set the bar pretty high for what lengths he would go to when he would party. But, not willing to rest on his laurels for too long he soon found other ways to make his presence known. Races up and down the stairs. Drunken games of Catch with a softball from his balcony to the parking lot, over people's vehicles. And let's not forget the time he was pretty sure he could jump, nay... FLY from his balcony. But, in order to fly he needed to be undressed first... Tossing his clothes off the balcony to... apparently determine wind direction.
His antics were evident each morning after when we could find half-eaten grilled burgers, beer cans, and the occasional spray of vomit on the shared balcony.
But he wasn't without his sensitive moments, too. I'm pretty sure he thought Mark lives at my apartment and I'm the one who makes frequent stays. Mark has become his confidante. His guru. His confessor. Money is not Matt's God. After Matt's brother told him that flying would not be a good idea, he joined Mark for this heartfelt sentiment.
"Money is not my God," he slurs. Wise words, man. Wise words.
I can only hope that my next neighbor will be as entertaining if not a little quieter, at least in the early morning hours. Though, I'd trade a little lack of quiet for the absence of damp vomit. KTHX
You'll be missed, Matt. By the way, can I have your grill?Labels: apartment life, cute teacher, funny |
