| 10/31/2007 |
MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE
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So it's Halloween. A time to dress up and pretend to be someone else. Who do you want to be? Someone different? Someone funnier? Happier? Someone more free-spirited? It's one night to act up (or out) a bit under the guise of a costume.
It can be sorta freeing...
That being said, don't read to much into this next part.
Halloween has brought up an interesting insight to my personality. I was probably aware of it, but never really gave it a whole lot of thought til now. Halloween brings up some insecurities that I have. While I can be outgoing once a person gets to know me. I still have my moments of shyness.
This is how it played out. We were allowed to wear costumes at work. I gave it a lot of thought. What would I wear? I have an Indiana Jones hat and whip that I could use as a costume. Maybe I could be a pirate. All I'd need is a hat and eye patch. Plus I could dress down a little bit if I did. Which, really... that's all I was looking for was a wear to dress down a little bit.
I went to a local store that has a wide selection of costumes. Of course everything was picked over. Not that I am surprised. Even then, as I was looking at costume I started feeling like I really didn't want to dress up. My main thought? What if no one else dressed up and I was the only one?
In the end I decided against wearing anything. Of course when I got to work I immediately wished I would've done something. Is it a big deal? No, of course not. But when you look a little more globally I do this sorta thing other times too.
When it's just me... If I go to a party, I like to be a little late. Nothing dramatic or 'fashionable', but just a couple minutes past the time. This is so I can see that the party is actually going on and that I'm at the right place. I wouldn't want to be there at the wrong day or time. In the past, I've been that way for dates too. Just to make sure that I'm at the right place.
Typically this is because I don't want to be the only one sitting there. It's an embarrassment thing. No one enjoys being embarrassed. Granted you have to care what people think to be embarrassed. The level of how much I care comes and goes depending on the situation.
Who do I want to be for Halloween? Someone who doesn't care about what people think. Easier said than done.Labels: introspection |
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I posted this @ 10/31/2007 05:04:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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