| 10/10/2005 |
BABY I'M YOURS
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There are a lot of people in my life that have recently had kids or are having kids. I've been thinking a lot about kids.
I go back and forth on this so much. There was a time in my life when I was very keen on the idea of one day being a dad. It was a very idealized dream. Only the 'good' things. Which in a way were also the selfish things. Carrying on the family line. Trying to be the best Dad I could. I don't know if I could easily sum it up, but I was thinking that I would be able to prove something to myself.
Then, things changed. I changed. Well, not so much changed as come to some realizations about myself. Along with this came the idea that kids were no longer a part of my future. I'd never know a homosexual couple with kids. At least not in real life. Was I destined to have a life with only dogs and cats as my children? Ok, well just dogs... I think we all know I get along with cats.
Then, things changed yet again. I began to realize that kids might still be in the future for me. Just not necessarily the conventional way. Ok so fine... Where does that leave me now?
There is a part of me that is still very independent. I like having my time to do as I want. I like the responsibility of little responsibility. Yet, what I also like is seeing how enriched my friends lives have become as a result of having a child. Both the good and bad that may happen along the way. It's such a life changing experience. Whether it is in the cards for me or not, I think it is one that I definitely hope to experience one day.
Baby Firsts. First-time parental anxiety. Loose teeth. PTA meetings. Skinned knees. Hurt feelings. Explaining to him/her about having two dads. Grandparents who spoil. Junior High awkwardness. Little league. Fights. Groundings. First crushes. First dates. Graduation. And everything in between. The good and the bad.
I don't just want to be someone's 'Uncle.' I'm not in a hurry. I just don't want to miss out on the same life changing experience. |
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I posted this @ 10/10/2005 01:05:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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