| 5/06/2005 |
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GIVE A LITTLE BIT by Supertramp (covered by the Goo Goo Dolls)
Remember Parent's Day when you were in school? At my elementary school there was one or two days a school year when a relative (presumably a parent) came to school and ate lunch with you. They might stop by your class and see your room and your desk. You were able to show off a poster you had made or a recent project the class had done. My Grandmother came when she could. I don't have specific memories of her not being there. Then again, I don't have specific memories of Parent's Day. I just recall the general feeling of them. It was the same feeling I had at Christmas programs and other music concerts throughout my whole school career. I know that there was a time when she felt as though I was embarrassed by having her there (because of her age as a grandparent, not because of the 'typical' be-seen-with-your-parents sort of thing). I'm sorry that I didn't do more to alleviate that. I remember when it was Senior Night for the Band. My Grandparents were there with me. Again, I think she thought I wouldn't want her there. By this time I had done more convincing that it was never an issue.
Those of you who know me, know that I was raised by my grandparents. I have absent parents that were infrequently seen. When I was younger it wasn't as easy for me to explain the situation. While this may sound bad, it isn't intended that way. For as personally difficult as it was to explain my family situation, I would have rather done that than have no one there with me at all.
I was talking with a co-worker. She was put off at taking time out of the work day to go to her son's school for a Mother's Day party. This isn't the first of such 'annoyed' comments about what she does for her child. I understand that many people have very busy work and personal schedules that don't allow much flexibility. When it comes to children I would hope that if there is the possibility to be a part of their life, then they would. If your situation allows you to take such time to be a parent, do so.
Perhaps it is just a lunch with your son. He has lunch every day. Perhaps it is just another of your daughter's soccer game. Her team is not that good. Maybe it's another choir or band concert. I mean, really... How many times can a person be expected to sit through keyless renditions of songs so old that even Public Domain doesn't want them? The answer: every time you have the ability. That's. Your. Kid.
A lot of my friends have children, recently had children, or are about to have children. My peer group is just that age, I guess. Some of them have demanding jobs, awkward hours, limited funds, to name a few reasons. Yet, while all of those are reasonably valid reasons not to do something with your child, the one I have the most problem with is because it had inconvenienced your day.
"I hope it rains because I don't feel like sitting at a pee-wee football game."
"I will have to work late tonight because I took time off this morning to have lunch with my daughter."
"Maybe he'll not like playing piano soon, because I have to drive him across town for lessons."
I wish I could shake someone like a fresh glow stick when I hear things like that.
I know people who doctors recommend that they don't have kids or more kids because of health concerns. I know people who would adopt in a second if they had the ability. They have the space in their heart, but maybe not their home. I don't know if kids are in the future for me. I'd like to think so, but it would happen unconventionally. Yet, one thing I know is that I would stand outside in the rain and mud if it meant I got to watch my kid play Tee-ball. I know people that would donate parts of themselves if it meant saving their child.
Perhaps, I'm emotional about this, but I don't think it is an overreaction. It is turning down opportunities to experience the little things in life that in turn come back to haunt them. It's the little things that kids use to build bigger relationships.
Now go hug your damn kid... |
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I posted this @ 5/06/2005 02:43:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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