| 3/01/2005 |
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MORE THAN WORDS by Extreme
I've never considered myself a prude. I know that I am not as worldly as some people, I also know my fair share. I will make myself laugh thinking about some of the words or phrases that I would never say in my Grandmother's presence, because the possibility is there that she might repeat it back to me. Maybe your Grandmother is cooler than mine, or you've got a different type of relationship. I've only cussed in front of my Grandmother twice. Each time I'm sure I was channeling Ralphie.
Ok... so maybe I was a prude at one point in my life. This was around the same time that I was still attending church youth group twice a week and, while I loved music, I covered my ear to keep from hearing Bon Jovi singing Living On A Prayer. Now I cover my ears when that song comes on for different reasons.
The first time I cussed in front of anyone it felt so unnatural. It felt like a word has just left my lips that was not really a word because it wasn't used in typical everyday conversation. Like shan't or ampersand...
Nowadays (uncommon itself), if you catch me in the 'right mood' you might hear a good portion of the 7 words that you can't say on television used flagrantly. Beyond simple cuss words there are a whole slew of words that are charged with the type of electricity that comes with putting down a minority or someone who doesn't have the same religion or same sexual preference. That list is much longer than a simple 7. I flinch a little when I hear them. If there is a valid reason to use any of the words I will revert to younger days and just use the first letter of the word to designate what word I mean. Even in an 'acceptable' humorous context like Will & Grace, I still flinch at some of the language. I guess I'm just sensitive like that.
As I sat in orientation for a job at a group home, we took part in an exercise where a senior staff member, typically a former group home worker, would behave as a youth might who had been deemed out of control. We were given badges that we were to write out 'hot buttons' on. This way the person who was playing the part of the out of control youth would know where to hit us where it would hurt most.
I had a very difficult time coming up with something to write down for my hot button. I'd never worked in a group home. I wasn't aware of what type of behavior an out of control youth might throw at me. Nothing really 'bothered' me. You could act like an idiot. You could threaten me. None of it really bothered me. Knowing how I felt about disparaging terms and hate-filled words. I ended up using 'hate words' as my 'hot button.' The confederate (as the youth-acting adult was called) looked at my hot button and questioned me as to what I meant. I did my best to explain, but for the same reason I didn't like or typically use such words, it wasn't like he was going to either. At least not in an exercise like this. This is on top of the absurdity of the situation to begin with. I'm talking to an adult, a professional child-rearer, who was acting like a brat. Nothing Ocsar worthy about any of the performance. I did my best not to laugh out loud. Forget trying to impress them with my mediating abilities.
I'm somewhat hypocritical in saying all this. I don't think it is appropriate or right (for lack of a more meaningful word) for anyone to call anyone else the Big N-word. I don't think that just because a person is of a certain race or religion or preference that being so unlocks a lexicological Pandora's Box. Yet, being white I'll laugh at someone calling someone else a honky or cracker in a movie or television program. Sometimes, I have a hard time making a distinction between the word and the meaning of the word. So when outpsoken activists for equality use such words to demonstrate a point I still flinch sometimes. Even though I know the words are not being used in a hateful manner, but more to illustrate a valid point. |
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I posted this @ 3/01/2005 02:56:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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