| 4/29/2004 |
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EAT IT by Weird Al
What level of hunger must a person reach to decide to search through the break room fridge and eat anything that isn't furry or covered in what appears to be fecal matter. While I assure you that both of those qualities that a food might possess would deter rabid weasels, there are people in my office who would trim the fur down or wash of the strange waste in order to get at the succulent vittles beneath.
Someone walked into the room that many of my coworkers share, held up a sandwich in a baggie and asked... "Is this anyone's?" By that statement alone we've deduced that it doesn't belong to the current holder of the sandwich. Perhaps someone left it from a previous shift, and is the only reason that are looking forward to another 8 hour shift is the knowledge that their beloved sandwich is waiting for them.
If you have to question who is the rightful owner of an item of food... Don't eat it. If you have to question the expiration date of an item of food... Don't eat it. If an item does not have your name on it... Don't eat it.
I've often amused myself with the idea of lacing an item with laxatives a la Encyclopedia Brown... in order to determine the culprit.
For now I'll opt for the less commode inspiring option of leaving threatening barbs on my EZ Seal baggie of carrots or crudely wrapped leftover pizza in foil. |
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I posted this @ 4/29/2004 07:12:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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