| 12/26/2006 |
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE FAMILY
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I have returned from another Christmas with the family. Yet another year where I wonder if anyone else was to see my family in action if they'd ever question their sanity. Even my sanity... Date me? Sure. Wanna meet my family? Ok, but be warned. My family is a little eccentric.
Exhibit A:
My Grandparents are preparing for a household auction next Spring. At Thanksgiving she mentioned that my Grandfather had a bunch of old hats that he never wears anymore. I asked to see them to see if I can wear any. His old clothes were current at one time, but now they are the new retro. For Christmas she pulled out the hats from the closet to show me. She said I could have whatever I wanted, but not yet, she said trying to stifle a laugh.
Me: "What do you mean not yet?"
Her: "..."
Me: "Oh my God... you're waiting for him to die!"
Now, I understand that it helps to know my Grandmother. Let's see if I can sum up her humor without kill the joke. I don't know where I got my humor from, but it's certainly not from her. Monkeys on Regis don't do it for me like they would for her. Yet every so often she'll pull out a comedy bomb and just toss it into a room. Just like the mattress incident. When was she going to tell me that it's possible that someone died on it? After I'd taken it? Instead she just offers it and tries not to laugh in your face as you take the death-garb.
Exhibit B:
My Grandmother stopped hauling out the huge Christmas tree from the basement after I moved out. She opted for smaller tree that she could stand on the coffee table. As I sat in a chair near the miniature tree I looked at the color coordinated ornaments and garland noting a couple odd ornaments dangling on the back-side of the tree.
Me: "Why do you have a laptop and monitor hanging from the tree?"
Her: "A what?"
Not even knowing what they were, but knowing they were ornaments she hung then on the tree. Which is fine. I just question where she might have got them. Did she buy them as ornaments specifically? They are grey and really non-descript. Certainly not holiday related.
I comment that it looks nice and that I'm surprised she took the time to decorate it. Since it comes pre-strung with lights. She tells me that it's easy to decorate. She just saves time by putting a garbage bag over it and putting it in the spare bedroom.
... She's a genuis, I tell you.
Similarly she has started... collecting... fiber optic holiday displays. So not only was there the Christmas tree with the random laptop ornament, there was also the fiber optic tree and fiber optic poinsettia. The room was lit up and blinking constantly. It made it hard to carry on a conversation with all the distraction.
It was an ol' fashioned disco Christmas.
more photos
Exhibit C:
There is nothing like walking in to a house and being greeted by the smell of a home-cooked meal. Ham. Turkey. Rolls. Corn. Casseroles. Potatoes.
While helping to put away the leftovers I asked where the Saran Wrap was. I had checked the pantry which is it's common residence.
Her: "It's in the freezer."
Me: "..."
Her: "It keeps it from sticking together."
Me: "..."
Her: "Rachel Ray said so?!"
Me: "Then both you and Rachel need your heads examined," as I struggled with the now chilled and still self-clingy Saran Wrap.
On the same note of food. She offered sugar cookies and pie for dessert. Now, if you know me, you know my affinity for the sugared-cookie. Yet, with my Grandmother there is a certain cautiousness to such an offer.
Do not be fooled by "I've got sugar cookies." Note that she does not say, "I made sugar cookies." Such a declaration should be followed by the question, "When were they made?" Because it is not uncommon for a cookie to have been made several years ago and put in the freezer for just such an occasion. Not that I expect her to bake fresh cookies every year. I do expect her to be up front about the date they were created.
Of course all this is meant tongue-in-cheek. I love my Grandmother and she knows it. But sometimes, you just can't prepare someone for such things. You can't keep such things to yourself. You must share in the warm memories of the Disco Christmas.
more photos
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I posted this @ 12/26/2006 08:39:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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