| 6/02/2005 |
SOMETHING MORE by Train
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This is definitely going to be a rambling post. You've been warned. Enjoy!
I'm feeling very profound lately. Not that this or any recent post will automatically reflect this. Yet there are things that happen that I feel affect me in a way that makes me 'feel...' Sometimes it is a television show or movie or something I've read or something that someone important to me said. Sometimes it is seeing an event. Like seeing my brother graduate or seeing a couple with their newborn child. Sometimes I will feel inspired by such a moment. Sometimes I will feel like a change for the better is needed.
If I was to have a good idea for a screenplay or book, it never seems to come to fruition. Not because I can't follow through on an idea, but typically because I can't find the right words to express the point I want to make. It's not for a lack of words, but most of the times I don't think the words I would use best convey the sentiment I mean. The fix would mean more than getting a Word-of-the-Day calendar.
In a way I wonder if I haven't found my 'voice' yet. Maybe I haven't found something to be passionate about. So passionate that I can express myself clearly and move somebody to want to find their own profound moment. Yet I feel like I'm on the verge of a profound moment. It's on the tip of my tongue, so to speak. Have you seen a program where there is someone standing on a cliff or roof ledge and there are people trying to talk them down. There is that moment where you can plainly see that they are contemplating their actions. The tension in the air is thick because of such a life changing moment. While I'm certainly not thinking about jumping off anything or even anything dire at all, my point is the profundity of what is going on. Once again, maybe not the best choice of words... See what I mean?
When I hear about someone who has had such a profound moment in their life because of something I will often question if I've had a moment like that. If so, what was it and can I recapture that moment. If not, how do I go about finding such? Maybe they had a book published before they were thirty. Maybe they realized their career choice early on and have made great strides in their field. Maybe they tapped into a talent they posses and have made a life out of it. And then the key... to be happy doing it.
I recall taking a psychology class in college. It was a night class that last for three and a half hours in the spring semester. While it was a rewarding class, the late winter snow made my motivation to attend very low. Then the professor talked in class about how she lets children draw pictures to allow kids who may not have the words, to express how they feel. She gave us each a sheet of paper and some crayons and everyone in the class drew a picture. The range of what was produced was just as varied as the students in her class. We all sat around and watched as she analyzed each picture. I drew a humpback whale as it displayed it's fluke before heading back down deep into the ocean. I had a couple whale posters and was always enthralled by watching them on television. I had a poster in my room similar tot he image I created using crayon for the in-class project. While the analysis part was voluntary, I didn't have a problem with sharing my picture with the class. I was curious to know what she might say based on such an image. She asked a couple questions that prompted me to describe the image. After giving it a couple moments of thought she asked if I was an only child. She asked if my parents were still together. She made a couple observations that I feel have a deeper meaning now than they did then.
One girl had only used black. She make various amoebic shapes on her paper. Connecting amoebic piece to amoebic piece like a puzzle until the entire page was full. She had then taken each piece, sectioned it off equally, and blacked out in every other section in every piece. I had noticed that she did this on notes she took during class. So I wasn't surprised that she drew that for the assignment. The Professor asked her if she felt she was in control of her life. She said yes. She asked her what kind of responsibilities or other things she had going on in her day to day life. She listed off almost a dozen major things she does in a day, taking time to explain the complexity of some of them. She asked how long it had been since she had taken a vacation from her job. She had a lot of balls to juggle, but managed to keep they all going. The 'choas' in this girl's life was controlled chaos. Well thought about and orangized.
I was amazed! It didn't take words to express a feeling. It didn't take deep thought to honestly express a sentiment. All it took was tapping in to a purer form of expression. While I knew that psychology was something I wanted to study and one day use as a career, I believe it was at that moment when I realized the positive effect I could have on others and be happy doing it. My career could move me. I could use my own life experiences coupled with career education to make an impact in someone else's life.
Some people draw. Some people write. Some people take photographs. Something that moves them to the point that they can get lost in the feeling. I honestly believe everyone should have an expressive outlet.
You may have seen performers who get into their music. They will move around as thought the entire body is what is producing the music, not just the instrument. Pianists will sway and jerk about as they strike various chords and lulls us with various melodies. Singers will make fists and stomp about as they hit and hold amazingly long notes.
I play piano by ear. I will take a song that I enjoy and slowly peck out whatever part that I feel sticks out the most. I practice it, then build off that. Sometimes I'll feel the bass line of a song. A low guitar sound that pushes the melody to the foreground. Once I've learned the bass part I may add the melody (the vocals). Maybe there is a chorus or a song that has a nice hook to it. I'll add that. By now I've got a good basic idea of how the tune fits together. How is each part is played and what I can add to it? Accompaniments. Drums and rhythm. I practice it until I can play all or most parts and have it sound like the song I took inspiration from. As I play my version of the completed song I will catch myself moving my head about. I not only hear the music but I can feel it. I know when a crescendo is coming and how it makes me feel when a minor chord changes to become a happier major. While I can get such a natural high from playing a song, I don't think I missed a calling by not going into music. My dedication to music wasn't to the level that it should be in order to be successful at a career level. It was one of those things that was great while it lasted and something to now enjoy as a hobby.
Maybe I actually came to a point in my train of thought... Maybe I didn't. That's the gamble you take. :-) |
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I posted this @ 6/02/2005 02:44:00 PM.............Need a link?..........
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