The Comical Misadventures of a Rambling Mind
8/14/2007

I WANNA BE LIKE GRACE KELLY

I didn't realize that I'd seen so many movies lately until I started writing this.

I'll make these brief since there are so many of them.

I've taken the liberty of 'hiding' the reviews in case it's a movie you've not seen. Highlight the section to read it.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (Unrated)
--->I'm not quite sure what was unrated about this movie? There were some rather graphic scenes that weren't really vital to the plot. I think think an R or NC-17 rating would be fine. See? I just rated it. How hard was that? I've not seen the first movie or the original movie that these were based on. I don't think that you really need to, in this case. As far as thrillers go it was ok. I've seen scarier movies. To me it just seems like unrated is simple a buzzword marketing uses to get people to pick their movie. With a lot of these type of movies, you come for the chills and not the plot. The ending comes to abruptly without much epilogue.<---

Gore: B-
Acting: C
Rewatchability: C
Better Than: Leprechaun
Not As Good As: The Descent


The Simpsons: The Movie
--->There has been a lot of anticipation for this movie. After almost twenty years on television it has finally arrived. I enjoyed this episode.... er I mean movie. This certainly wouldn't have been on television. All the cussing, drug use, and sexuality that is implied on TV can feel free to run amok on the big screen. And it does in hilarious ways.

Ralph Wiggum has one of my favorite lines. I won't say what the line is, because really... it's one of the few he has. This is my only real issue with the movie. Part of what makes The Simpsons great is the wacky B-Team of characters. In an hour and a half movie, you think you could squeeze a few more of them in there, rather than making them just one face in a large crowd.

Spider-Pig has been commercialed to death, if you ask some people. Somehow I managed to escape a lot of those commercials. So these scene with Homer and his pig was hilarious to me.

The animation was different. Not bad different, but like Futurama different. It had a more polished look to it that seemed computer generated. I don't think it detracted from the movie, but it was noticeable.
<---

Make With The Funny: B
Animation: B
Rewatchability: B-
Better Than: The Family Guy Movie (which only made it to video)
Not As Good As: Bringing back Futurama NOW!

The Promise
--->This was a foreign film released a couple years ago that I meant to see at the time, but life got in the way. The story is about a young girl who is visited by a goddess who offers her fortune and power at the cost of never really being able to have love. If she ever does fall in love, she will lose that person. Unless tears run up stream and blah blah blah prophecy blah blah... It plays out very much like a fairytale or fable. Very dreamy and ethereal.

There is a point in most movies that you can predict what is going to happen. The longer that point can hold out til closer to the end of the movie, the better the movie may be. You presume that this movie is going to have a fairy tale-ending based on how the story is told. But don't be so sure. That's what I love about foreign films. Then don't follow your typical plot that we are accustomed to.

It's a beautiful movie. A lot of symbolism. A lot of bold color.

There was a decent amount of wire-fu martial arts, but not enough for my tastes. But what there was was impressive
<---

Martial Arts: C+
Plot: B
Rewatchability: C-
Better Than: Rush Hour 2 (and probably 3)
Not As Good As: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Music & Lyrics
--->I love me some Drew Barrymore. So I'm biased. It is hard to find a movie that I won't enjoy her quirky and endearing behavior. Hugh Grant I could could take or leave. But he is good too. Mark and I debated the age difference between the two of them. Which isn't as much as you'd think, but still... C'mon Drew... You could find someone your own age.

Sophie (Barrymore) plays the hypochondriacal plant caretaker who stumbles in to Alex's (Grant) career as he tried to make a comeback writing a song for a Shakira wanna-be. Realizing that she is a pop lyric savant Alex enlists her to help him write a song in a matter of days for teen singing 'zen'-sation Cora Corman.

Kristen Johnson steals a few scenes as a fan of Alex's 80s singing career. She plays the part of the goofily obsessed fan adorkably well.

It's a very cute date movie that had Mark and I tapping along to most of the music in the movie. I need to find the soundtrack to this. Being a fan of the 80s music... this is one that will be in heavy rotation for a while.

I love the Pop-up Video during the credits of the movie. Totally Awesome!
<---

Cuteness: A-
Acting: B+
Buy-ability: B+
Better Than: Never Been Kissed
Not As Good As: The Wedding Singer

My God... more movies?!

The Bourne Ultimatum
--->Finally we get to see the end to this trilogy. Does Jason Bourne figure out who he really is? Does he extract revenge on those that made him the killer he's become? Does Joan Allen punch Julia Stiles in the neck for foolishly thinking she can out emote her? Silly Julia...

I was just saying the other day that I would love to read these books. I'm curious to see what was left out.

The action starts right away. You don't have to wait very long before you are given the viewpoint of running right along with Bourne through the streets of various exotic locales. And I do mean literally running... The second Bourne film was a new level of seasickness for me. I hoped this movie wouldn't be the same, but I was prepared.

There is a good 20 minutes at the beginning of this movie that could be cut out to make it shorter. I get why movies will recap their own prequels before starting in to the main story. Yet, I also feel that a movie should be able to stand on it's own.

A couple of the characters became muddled in my mind, but it might have been due to the intentionally shaky camera work and a slight hangover. But in the end I know what happened.

While I was rooting for Bourne, I was also rooting for Pamela Landy (Allen). She had her own view of how things should play out and even though she is hunting down Bourne as well, you want her to succeed.

This series would make a good box set for the action lover.
<---

Action: A
Plot Conciseness: B
Intrigue: B
Camera Shakier Than: Parkinson's
Not As Shaky As: Bourne Supremacy

Last one I swear!!!

Curse Of The Golden Flower
--->This movie was not what I was expecting at all. This isn't a bad thing. It just means I was expect more martial arts, as is prone to these period pieces.

Curse is the story of an Emperor's family and the betrayal and revenge that surrounds him. There is a LOT going on in this movie. Let's see if I can explain without giving too much away.

The Emperor fathered a son, Wan, with Jiang. Jiang was branded and sent away. Jiang marries the Emperor's Physician and has a daughter, Chan. The Emperor remarries and has two more sons with the Empress, Jai and Yu. The Empress has been lusting after Wan for a few years now. Wan has been having relations with Chan (who is his sister) for a while now. Jai wants to be the next Emperor and is jealous of his older brother's power by heredity. The Emperor is poisoning the Empress. The Empress is assembling an army to overthrow her husband. Jiang wants revenge on the Emperor. And poor little Yu feels invisible during all this nonsense. Seriously... It's like a soap opera!

This is definitely more story driven than just a vehicle for some kick ass marital arts. Which is fine by me... I just was thinking there'd be more high kicks and sword swinging.
<---

Web Of Intrigue: A-
Martial Arts: B- (for what of it there was)
Chow Yun Fat's Hair and Goatee of Evil: A+
Better Than: Musa
Not As Good As: Hero
I posted this @ 8/14/2007 08:37:00 AM.............Need a link?..........

I'm a 30-something student of human nature. A music-lovin', groove-shakin', laugh-inducin', dish-cookin', gossip-slingin', type of guy. This is my diary of sorts...

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