| 10/10/2006 |
EMOTIONAL RESCUE
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[back story]
Driving home from work the other day*, I was behind a PT Cruiser with personalized license plates. I noticed the car because I like the look of the Cruiser. I noticed the plates next.
[/end back story]
I was chatting online the other night (*actually it was some time ago by now, but in my world "the other day/night" could mean two days to two years ago) I happened across a profile that had a gentleman posing next to his vehicle with the same vanity plate. I sent a quick message saying, "I think I was behind you in traffic. I recognize the vehicle and plates. I like your car." Innocent enough? Just a comment on his vehicle.
The next day I got a reply saying that if it was a black PT Cruiser then it was him. He suggested meeting up for coffee or drinks. Going on to say that he felt he should tell me that he is HIV+ and that he would understand if I didn't want to meet up. He is getting more accustomed to the idea of people turning him down based on his HIV status.
Um... Ok. Well, nothing like putting someone on the spot, an awkward spot at that. While I understand that there is a certain idea that any message is an open invitation to a date on some sites. I certainly didn't think my commenting on his vehicle gave any indication of interest. Maybe I'm just naive. Yet, even more than that... Way to guilt someone into a date.
It clearly smacks of emotional manipulation. You basically have put someone on the spot. If they say "no" they are 'just like most other people'. If they say "yes" there is a feeling of being guilted into saying yes, rather than saying yes out of actual interest.
Pity date? No... I don't do that. It doesn't help anyone out.
This is not the first time that I've come across situations like this. Not necessarily to me, but just in general. I've heard and seen similar situations where a person might have a child, disability, or some reason that other people might see as a complication or automatic disqualification for dating.
Not that everyone is going to feel that way. Yet it certainly isn't a good foot to start out on. Where would that lead? Do positive relationship start out on such a guilted first step? Is this a common?
Do people really end up with sustaining relationships when the only way that they got someone to go out with them was to lay a guilt trip on them?
Do I need to say that I did not respond back? |
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I posted this @ 10/10/2006 11:32:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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