| 6/02/2004 |
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WISH YOU WERE HERE by Pink Floyd
First of all... Anyone who is a step-child or has step-children go read this post dated and titled May 23, 2004 "Misty Morning." I love the way Wil writes about the relationship with his two boys. It's worth the read, in my opinion.
I chose the title Wish You Were Here not for the meaning of the song, but for the feeling that the phrase "wish you were here" brings up.
Are you were you want to be? Where do you wish you were? Is there a 'here' that you wish you were? When you look at the last 5 years of your life... or since you graduated high school/college... are you where you though you'd be.
I look back on the last several years of my life since I graduated college and moved to the big city. A lot has changed. A lot would change in 6+ years for anyone. Thinking back to what I wanted then and where I am now... It's interesting to see what has and hasn't come to fruition.
Through college I had my sights clearly set on where I wanted to work. I knew I wanted to work with kids. I had my eye set on more of a school setting. Guidance counselor... School Psychologist... Something along those lines. I got the job at the place I wanted, but not the job I wanted. After an up and down year and a half in one position I found a job that is the right fit for me. I like what I do.
I spent a lot of time focused on school... then career... then a social life.
I have a great group of friends and I enjoy meeting new people and making more friends. I've found someone that I enjoy spending time with. I'm looking at going back to school within the next year or so for my Masters degree.
I don't want to say things are looking up, because it sort of insinuates that things were looking down at one point. Better said, things are doing well.
I think I've weather some storms pretty well. There have been some high and low points. My mother has been back in contact with me (only via email at this point) after almost 20 years. My father has tried to re-establish a relationship. I came out to friends and some family. My relationship with my Grandmother has become even better since I moved out. I started fencing and went to a National level competition. I've traveled more. There's been loss and heartache. There have been tears of joy. There have been arguments and the mending of relationships.
All in all nothing to out of the ordinary. Yet, to say that I would've thought that a little over 5 years ago most of those things would've happened... I never would've guessed.
My Grandfather recently passed away. This is the first grandparent I've had pass away. Not the one that helped raised me, but my maternal Grandfather. It's an odd feeling. Here is a person that I am aware of their once existence. Yet because I never spent anytime with that side of my family I have very little recollection of them. Just vague images. He was a tall man. I remember him wearing overalls a lot (something I think a lot of Grandfather's his age did). I remember these rather deep thought looks like he was taking in the situation and trying to figure it out. Not confused or befuddled... but more like a problem solving type look. He wore a lot of hats.
I don't miss him. Not to be mean, but it would be like saying do you miss the a certain waitress at a restaurant. Maybe they moved. Maybe they got another job. Either way, then are not there. True... I'll never have another maternal Grandfather, but the feeling of loss, for me, is pretty much the same.
What do I see for the next 5+ years?
I see myself getting a house (finally).
I see myself settling down with that my special guy and making a life together.
I see myself spending some great times and being even closer with my friends.
I see myself trying to figuring out if either of my parents are capable of carrying on adult relationship with their adult son.
I see myself working at the same place, but in a higher position.
I see myself at least accomplishing one major thing that I'd like to do.
It's going to be a great ride. I wish you were here. |
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I posted this @ 6/02/2004 03:22:00 AM.............Need a link?..........
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